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Friday, September 25, 2015

Resolving with kindness

Resolving with Kindness 

In this modern world, a vast majority of people are stuffing themselves into cars only to await congested traffic and venting their aggressions through social media. How do we handle ourselves when our lives are full of such conflict?

We must first understand that all this conflict is indeed self imposed. Our monkey mind loves to create and participate in drama to make our lives superficially interesting. Anger and conflict can heighten our senses and almost allow us to feel a sense of being alive. This however is a trap. We trap ourselves in our heads and get drowned in our own sense of perspective. Most of this stems from the lack of self care, self knowledge and self responsibility. We choose to accept ideology over the humanity of other individuals. We are propagandized to believe that other people that identify with certain labels are somewhat "stupid" or "wrong". We don't take in to consideration the other factors on why the other person or persons are projecting themselves the way they do.

It is easy to take something personally these days. I am guilty of this sometimes, but I have learned to recognize it. When a person personally attacks another, they are displaying their unconscious motives and lack of self knowledge. They are resorting to attacking out of some insecurities they choose not to deal with within themselves. Maybe their biased perspective was influenced from a traumatic event where when triggered can trap and disorient the person's judgement. Honesty is the best way to deal with yourself and others around you. 

If a person gets irritated, you can always stop the conversation to check in. Very rarily do we want to recognize someone else's irritability because we know it will increase the discomfort of a situation. It is important to establish that your main intent is to talk about truth, evidence, logic and reason. You may not all agree on some topics, but a talking over the other person contest is a small form of aggression. It is also important to establish that all interactions are voluntary and that either person can leave the discussion or interaction at any time.

This brings me to my main point. Something is being lost in this modern age as more and more people are open to displaying their political views, world opinions and criticisms in their lives. It is easily to quickly retort with ad Hominem or expedient aggression when dealing with less than happy humans. If a person chooses to personally attack or gets emotionally overcome by a certain discussion, they have chosen whether consciously or unconsciously to not subscribe to reason. It is not a good idea to fight fire with fire in this case. We sometimes think that the person who yells the loudest with his or her points will untimately win out in the long run. When conflict arises, we can step back and peacefully disengage or keep engaging with kindness. 

Kindness is key. Kindness is the way of expressing your respect and projecting your awareness of the self and the general well being of all interactions. 

Taking sides and berating people has become too common nowadays and we have fallen prey to the victimhood of impulsivity. Kindness starts with small steps. Kindness starts with making peace with your agression/ aggressors and accepting past violent interactions. 

Kindness implies a sense of selflessness that aims to ensure the health of everyone involved. It is surrendering to the conflict of the moment and transmuting it into an unbiased compassionate sense of humanity. Kindness is recognizing the perspectives of other people and the uncertainities of their past. You cannot know what is going on in their minds or what events have caused them to act in the way they are acting. It is recognizing the suffering of other individuals and abandoning labels and ideological mindsets that would otherwise divide us from our fellow man. 

Kindness implies a sense of equality that levels promotes peace among all life forms. Kindness is a lot like unconditional love, where you can love the people involved in conflict, while consciously aware that their moods or actions do not account for who they actually are. Kindness does not simply ignore past or present wrongdoings of the individual, but rather opens up the space to recognize and learn how to deal with hostility or aggression in the near future. Kindness is a teacher.

 I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.

Khalil Gibran

Kindness starts with yourself. You cannot truly be kind if you cannot be kind with yourself. Forcing kindness is of the mind and tricks you into a means to an end construct. Kindness is like any habit, it takes practice. It takes good and bad practice. It starts with accepting yourself uncondtionally and practicing self love. It starts with you recognizing the amazing similarities and differences that you share with the rest of humanity. It starts with exploring consciousness and influencing others to be kind by acting kind. Kindness is contagious in every way. 

Every kind act whether big or small, are huge markers for growth. A small kind gesture or a display of gratitude or appreciation can change a person's perspective on their day. Kindness can literally change how a person will interact with other people and how they interact with themselves. It reaffirms that their consciousness is not solely polluted by aggression and unconsciousness. Kindness can literally change the genetics of the individual and their future offspring. 

Kindness is an understanding of the inherent responsibility we all have to undertake in order to create a healthy and conscious world. Kindness leads one to live a life guided by virtue and principles that benefits his or herself and everyone around them. When the individual is motivated to be kind to himself, all other reactions will take care of themselves with very little effort. The inner intention of kindness will reflect and project itself amongst the real world. Kindness is the mirror image of how you choose to treat and accept yourself.

 Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people.

Dennis Prager


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