Thursday, May 25, 2017
These things called opinions. Those little finicky things that seem to radiate from our mouths like microwaves and plant themselves in social situations both fulfilling and awkward. Are we even really conscious about our own opinions? Do we identify with our opinions so much that it becomes the CORE of our own identity? We may hold similar opinions and contrasting opinions. Some of our opinions develop the friendships and social circles we inhabit. Do you ever think about that?
We get pretty picky with our opinions? We let some out like and anxious cat and hold others in in order to protect our own self image. How silly. We wouldn’t want to upset someone or have the “wrong” opinion now, would we? These opinions are driven by thought. Thought driven by experience and memory. Whether we like it or not, we are conditioned by the past and the environment we have lived in. It sculpts the way we see the world. Most of it is in our programming. You know. This subconscious concept we so like to spat about at bars and dinner parties. It runs below your general awareness and influences your distorted perception. The distorted lens of the past. It builds your sense of self, which is a product of time. This sense of self that thrives off thought and is driven towards security and pleasure. The desire of the me. The desire to define yourself by the past and your opinions.
Are they your opinions? Do you own them? Where do they come from? Well, your conditioning and level of awareness of course. When you say “my opinion”, you are identifying with thought. You are operating under a mechanism of division. Division that comes from the sense of self, mind, and the “I”. Identifying with your opinions is an act of unconsciousness. It is an act of past experience. It is putting up walls and creating a sense of self that is limited from the past. “Your” mind creates an image from your conditioning. Your programming. Get it? From that image comes conflict and division.
What happens when we simply watch these opinions and don’t identify with them?
How much of “our opinions” are just based on imitating other people’s opinions?
You like and dislike, but what does it mean? You have your own bias. Your bias is showing. Your conditioning is revealing. You are projecting your own ideals. You are separating yourself from what is through thought. Through the lens of distortion. Through the lens of the past....which is dead.
When you observe and not try to lustfully grab or vehemently push away what you oppose, you allow for a new sense of space. This sense of space is not tied to thought, your conditioning, or the sneaky serpent of the past.
What happens when your opinion is unpopular?
When your opinion doesn’t match the status quo.
When your opinion is so against the grain of what society is comprised of.
Do you hold it in? Do you keep it to yourself?
God forbid people not like your unpopular opinion. Do you curtail your opinions to appease the others around you? You must fear isolation, no? You must fear losing some of your friends or your status?
“Popular opinions are a stagnant pond that invites the mosquitoes of dullness and mediocrity.”
Our minds seek security through thought and opinions. Some of the opinions that we consider our “own” are most likely regurgitated from people that we admire or even trust. We like “their” opinions so much that we bring it into our own sense of self. We mimic the behavior we want the most for ourselves. This mimicry of behavior feeds the “me”. It feeds the desire mechanism in our brain. That desire mechanism is programmed to get away from “what is” and go towards “ What should be” or what we “think” we should be. It sculpts our world view and creates conflict within ourselves. It fragments the illusory sense of self.
I mean how much of our meaty identity is compromised of what we think of the world around us and ourselves? Do we ever investigate that without trying to find a quick answer or a solution? Do we ever take the time to step back and watch the mind without trying control it or pick and choose what musical playlist we want to listen to on Spotify?
Our identification with opinion makes us mechanical and dull. We corner ourselves in our own comfortable biased blanket fort and try so hard not to break our routines. We like what we like and don’t like what we don’t like. We don’t question it. We let be suit we want to wear and parade it out when we are out in public. I mean isn’t it precious? Your opinion? What makes YOU want to HOLD onto your opinion so much? After all, you have your own opinions and your friend or significant other has his or her own opinions. Big deal, right?
These opinions are a rejection, ( a form of resistance )
An effort or violent will brought about through thought and fragmentation,
We can put up our own fences and walls.
We can create conflict by trying to choose what we like and dislike.
We can reject what is,
We can decorate our own smelly echo chambers.
We see it in the feed. The constant barrage of opinions in CyBeR SpAcE! People posting things they don’t even think about before hand. How interesting! What is pulling their strings? What forces within them are making them be so opinionated? Making them be so divisive and ideological?
Is your worldview better than my worldview?
Well how SMUG of you!
How amazing thought is. How amazing we seem to get trapped in it like a fly in a spider web! Most people are in a psychosis of thought. They don’t even know it! How bizarre. How macabre. How beautiful?
Your opinions ain’t you. I can assure you. Am I wrong? What’s your opinion on this matter in 141 characters or less? But what are you? Are you actually you? Do you have an opinion on this? Well, do you? If you do, then why? Don’t you see that you are missing the point? Don’t you see the beautiful contradiction? The beautiful distraction? Can you see that tree over there without trying to name it? Without trying to see if it is beautiful or not? Without trying to compare it with the other trees around it?
Just a thought....but is it just a thought?
Does that thought exist? When you are looking at that Camry, can you see the car for what it is and not be reminded of that time you sat in the back of your uncle’s camry when you were 6 and threw up all over the backseat because you drank a slurpee too fast? You see your conditioning now don’t you?
Oh, here comes another thought. Do you see it? Does your mind create images of that thought? Just look! No need to conceptualize or theorize. How silly!
So, what is your opinion on opinions now?
Thursday, May 11, 2017
The past. It looms. It exists within our thoughts and memories. The thoughts that are the response to memory. The response to past experience. Some of us feel trapped from the past. Not truly in the present. Trapped in an almost psychosis of thought.
What can the past do for us? How can we try to be more present and not be so beholden to the past. Well since the past has “passed” and only exists within the realm of our own neurons and dendrite matrices, we can understand that the past is encapsulated in a cyclical pattern of compulsory thought. Thought that begets thought. Thought that can change the chemical composition within your body at each moment.
It’s the reactions. The reactions to the thoughts that matter. What is the moment before those reactions? How do we deal with them and how does it feel? Before that reaction exists some type of juicy stimulus. An amalgamation of experience and biological processes. This past that we conceptualize does not exist. It is not with “what is”. Our mind uses knowledge and experience to construct thoughts and images of with what was. The old. The mind can only act with what it knows and through the cyclical nature of thought. The compulsory nature of thought. Let it be known, that this past has passed and it is only conceptualized through the concept of psychological and the “theorized” time that constructs the self!
We can look at the past as if it is almost part of nature. Part of a grand landscape of vines, trees and creatures. The trees will shed their leaves across the seasons. The bare branches will bare new leaves. The dead ones fall to the ground and decompose and feed all wonderful bacteria and scavenging creatures. It is part of the cycle of life. ( As Cliche’ as that sounds) The energy transfer from life to death. Where life feeds the way for death to bring more life. The cyclical processing of matter to perpetuate its own magnificent existence.
How does thought relate to nature and natural processes? Can we see the parallel of the beauty of nature and the architecture of thought and conceptualization of the past?
If thoughts are like the cycle of decomposition and the cycle of life present in nature, can we attempt to compost the past? Can these thoughts that are the response to memory and the imprint of experience come to serve us and make us more “present”? If we see the past as a dirty compost heap, can we use the past to reseed new potentiality and perspective for the present and future? Think about it. If we see thoughts as leaves that have fallen from the tree and are decomposing to make the way for new life and organisms, can we see anew that isn’t tied so much to our past? Of course we can use knowledge to simply learn from our past. That is part of it. That is part of the decomposition/ composition process. Even the bad parts of our past, which are essentially images made my thoughts and memory, can seed the present without attachment to what was.
If we can turn that hot compost heap of the past, and take it to plant new experience without a specific agenda, we can open ourselves to discovery. Discovery of the unknown. Discovery of what is. The beautiful vibrant “what was” flowers will die and make room for a new host of magical fungi. The dead bird will feed and nourish the scavengers and worms and return the necessary energy back to the ground. What are we planting in our mind gardens? What can the fertile soil bring? If you can take all the “bad” parts of your “past”, you can grow some hefty and vibrant flowers? Think about manure. You can grow amazing food from that cow dung. You can grow amazing tulips, daffodils and the like! This is what your self perceived past can do. It can inform you. It can make you grow. The plants that seed. The seeds that will grow from the all the dead things! That’s it precisely! Thoughts are dead things because they are from the past. They are old and known! In order to grow, you must see it for what it is. See how it works!
I’ve heard somewhere...
“Flowers grow from sh*t!”
Cyclical. Cycles of Impermanence. These flowers don’t last forever.
Lettuce compost the past! Bury it. Turn it. Spread it and leave it be.
When it’s ready, spread that compost into the soil of the present.
Let the dead nutrients nourish your present plants!
All the trauma. All the drama. The thoughts, memories and knowledge.
They can all go into that smelly heap and mix and mingle. Move around and mutate.
Magic or not, they will break down. Breaking down for the new. Laying out for what is.
Life goes fast.
Or at least that is what we "think",
Thoughts of the old and nostalgic,
Here you and there you were,
Here at least and here at last,
Breathe it in and let it grow,
It’s time to...
Compost the past.
Tuesday, May 2, 2017
What’s the big deal with narcissism? The term seems to be thrown around like a dirty sock constantly missing a white hamper basket. In this society, we see narcissism as being vile, negative and deconstructive. Rightfully so? “We” think narcissists just don’t care about other people and only care about themselves. Do narcissists deserve such a bad rap?
If we really look at narcissism, we can see that it’s something rather particular. It involves a certain type of body chemistry and compulsory thought neurosis that creates what we call a narcissistic person. We think that they are full of themselves, but maybe they are just bigger mirrors for our insecurities. Do narcissists need more attention than what they are getting or craving? Are narcissists just children crying inside reaching out for help?
Aren’t we all a little narcissistic? We all have some type of self interest. Some of us have more “radical self interest” than others. We want to work on ourselves. We compare ourselves to others, judge and condemn others we find displeasing and abhorrent. Does it make us particularly narcissistic when we start placing our needs before others or we align ourselves on some type of benign moral hierarchy? Maybe narcissism is a signpost of unconscious suffering. Is narcissism just a wall put up for people to escape certain past traumas? We are trapped in our own heads and trapped within our own limited thoughts and “knowledge”.
Is there anything morally wrong with being a narcissist? A narcissist may be so involved or “full of themselves” that they isolate themselves from society, but they don’t exist in a vacuum. They may talk at you instead of with you, but they still depend on the good nature and labor of others. Narcissists could not survive in an environment of isolation because they would be deprived of attention and have no incentive to inflate their illusory sense of self. A narcissist is much different than a sociopath, because a narcissist may still resemble certain attributes of empathy and compassion. Most narcissists will have some type of thing or person they are passionate about.
The fact that we can so easily identify and scorn someone as a narcissist, means that we are not willing to listen to what is really happening within us. The labeling comes from the minds work of dividing and fragmenting. From this fragmenting, comes a sense of conflict. When we are so eager to give a label, we strip the humanity from the individual we are scrutinized. So when we can paint with a broad narcissistic brush, we are hurting more of ourselves than the people we unconsciously categorize. We drive ourselves further into unconsciousness when our mind thrives on categorical division fueled by thought. Are you listening to me?
If we call someone a narcissist, are we merely subconsciously displaying a reflection of our own narcissistic nature? Is our own “ego” inherently narcissistic? Can we really tell is we are being narcissistic if we aren’t really conscious of it? If we assign the concept of narcissism on a spectrum, aren’t we fragmenting it from thought? Aren’t we placing it on levels of division comparable to an Us vs. Them false dichotomy? Who is to say that one person is more narcissistic than the other when you can only see narcissism from a fragmented viewpoint based on compulsory thought and their own conditioning? Are you still listening to me? Are you listening to THEM?
Why not let Narcissists be Narcissists? Why try to scorn or change their behaviors? Want to help? That’s great, but maybe it starts with listening to ourselves first and observing what actually is and not what “should be”. Maybe it involves the abandonment of debilitating labels and prejudice. Do narcissists need help or do we need help in attempting to understand why they are narcissists in the first place? I mean, do narcissists even exist?
Narcissism = Compulsory Thought+ Chemical Imbalance+ Conditioning from the past+ Memory+ Disorder+ Neurosis
When you identify with the “I”, you are identifying with a false sense of self. A self that is based on the mind and division from the observer and the observed. This I is self contained in compulsory thought that makes you unaware and confused. That compulsory thought creates a type of psychosis that feeds on its own dysfunction and disorder. When we separate and categorize, aren’t we being inherently narcissistic. Aren’t we dividing ourselves with comparison, and resisting what is and the possibility of relationship and “compassion”?
How many times do you say “I” in a day? Who is saying “I”? Are you even conscious of how many times you say “I” in a day or in a minute? It can be in your head or voiced out from your vocal chords. It’s that voice that your mind produces. It is the voice that is conditioned from your past and memory. Is someone really at fault if the don’t know what they are doing or why they are doing it? Is a narcissistic a victim of his or hers own unconsciousness/ consciousness?
Can you truly be a narcissist if you are really aware that you are a narcissist?
When labeling someone as a narcissist, are we moving away from what is to what should be? Instead of helping or inquiring deeper, are limiting ourselves from observing and understanding what is? What stops us from embracing a person for who or she actually is? How they exist in that very moment. Why they act the way they act. Instead, our mind categorizes,shuns and acts upon our preferences that are conditioned from our past. It is easy to label and move away from people when they don’t meet our petty standards brought about by thought and memory. What good does it do to write people off? How does it feel in our bodies? Does it make us feel uncomfortable? Do we feel better about ourselves when we compare our own delusion and disorderly unconsciousness to other people? That’s the ego, right there. The thing that constantly thrives off the conditioning of the past and compulsory thought. Thriving off of confusion and disorder.
What good does it do to call people narcissists? Think about it. What good does it do for you? Does it further your own isolation and division from the people around you? Does it make you more receptive to continually making callous labels and accusations? Does it bring you any peace or any solace? How does it make YOU feel?
Look, I might not be the smartest bug on the rug, but I can tell you that I am a pretty good thinker. I mean I might be better than you. I don’t know. I mean what is wrong with thinking that I am better than you? Am I hurting you? Am I creating more suffering or isolating myself from you? I respect you. I really do. I find that you compliment me quite nicely. I find that I am pretty good at driving. I am a safe driver. Unlike you. I have seen you drive. It makes me scared, but I am safe. So how does that feel? How does it feel to be not the best driver compared to me? See what I am getting at? Are you still listening? Alright.
I was looking in the mirror the other day and I was just adoring my hair. The way it waves and the vibrant color. It is almost as if the hair has a mind of its own, but it is still part of me. It is my hair. I can do whatever I want to my hair and I would have to say I put in quite a bit of effort trying to make this hair look miraculous. It compliments my beautiful eyes and my vivacious chin. You know, I was mostly born this way, but I also have a pretty good exercise regiment and diet. Have you been keeping up with my blog posts? I think they are great? I mean I could improve, but I think that I am a pretty good writer. I am doing great even when others think I am doing poorly. Why does it matter what they think? That is THEM and this is ME! ME! Me, I tell you! Well enough about me, how about you? But wait, one more thing. I don’t have long to talk, I have a lot of important things to do and I also have a hair appointment in the morning. Sorry to cut things short, but I really ought to go. I know we can catch up later, please give me a call or send me a message, I get pretty busy and it’s hard for me to make time to make the first move. I know what you’re thinking. I could be better at planning, but look at this new planning app I just downloaded. Isn’t it great? Well look at the time, have a great night!
How does my hair look now?