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Monday, March 18, 2024

W E L C O M E T O T H E H A M S T E R W H E E L of S U C C E S S

 


The current ecosystem of the Western World and The Jingoistic Framework of the United States of America is heavily centered around the awareness of Success. We tend to put so called successful people on a fancy pedestal as if it is some type of shiny poodle to aspire to. But Big Letter S "Success" is such an amorphous concept hinging on an a construct that is almost doomed to fail in how we see ourselves moving in the world. Success with the big "S" is centered around the concept of comparison in which we know can only create more conflict and inadequate feelings within ourselves if we feel like we simply aren't doing our "best". If we don't feel like we are successful because society or the people around us are telling that we aren't, what does that say about the general culture that centers its greatness around the concept of success?

The truth about success is that it is a very subjective construct. It is all based on how much power and attention we give to it and how each individual chooses to define it. Not everyone craves the trappings of having a lot of money and a bunch of stuff and properties to flaunt our social status against the world around us. In fact, people think they want success for themselves when in reality that are pursuing a generic idea of success that was told would make them feel happier, more fulfilled and content in many forms and facets. This is what they call Mimetic Desire. We think we know what we want when we want it and ultimately set a course to move towards what we think we want only to later realize that maybe it wasn't wanted all along when we finally "get there". It's an elaborate rouse.

We are told to "work hard" and put our minds to things that will ultimately bring us success in the future. We are told that the suffering and delay of gratification is worth it. Grind, hustle. Do whatever you need to do to capture that flag of success and you will be adored, respected and rewarded for your efforts. There is something to creating a disciplined structure around your life to reach certain goals or physical attainments, but when it starts to become a major part of your identity or who you "think" you are then it creates a festering conflict much akin to a virus or bug in the human condition.

How sick is a culture when you are pressured to suffer just to maybe someday be a "success"?

In reality, this western concept of success is created to sustain the system that was thrusted upon all who live under it. It is more of a feature than a bug, but that doesn't mean that that feature has anything to do with progress, awareness and introspection. Just think of all the people that mindlessly follow a path because they have been told that there would be a reward at the end of the tunnel. Seems like carrot on a stick propaganda and smells like a delicious meal that is only destined to rot and decompose. So you have people in a race towards success and they hold themselves to their own accomplishments. Flaunting at every opportunity and holding back their small wins when they think they aren't enough because their identity is wrapped around the whole idea that comparing your productive output to the outside modern world is the only way to live. 

As westerners, we love to think linearly. We think we must suffer through in order to reach a state of being where that is no more or at least mitigated in some sense. "We do this now and we get this later" type of energy. In a way there is no act of becoming, there is only present moment, but that doesn't mean we can't plan and dream, right? Correct. We can make plans follow them and see progress in a material sense, but when we make that the main part for our own well being, that is where we get off track. We don't have to "work hard" to prove our worth if that is not what we want. We can work just enough to provide for the things that we each individually want to do. This doesn't have to coincide with climbing the corporate ladder or making more money. Some people want this mostly for the sense of security and a modest well being where you don't have to worry about surviving or fretting over paying bills. Going towards higher paid positions can be honorable, but not everyone wants to or can do it no matter how much "hard work" they put in. 

In a rat race, the winner gets the cheese, but what happens when the cheese is gone? Get more cheese?

Just imagine trying to convince an artist to become a surgeon. You make your case. You show how much you must go through for at the end to have such a nice lifestyle. But of course you leave out the catch. The catch being sacrifices made to accomplish what society might deem as successful. But how would a surgeon who is only in it for the security, material and monetary compensation feel about himself at the end of the day? Would all that "hard work" be worth it if the passion was never there in the first place? The artist who is passionate about creating is not made for that work. Not everyone can be a surgeon or make six figures and not only is that ok, it is a necessity. Success is inherently subjective. 

Chasing the general idea of success seems like a prison to me. Always kicking the can. On to the next goal. A loop that may lead to a lack of self awareness deriving value from external achievement. Inner reflects the outer and visa versa. 

If chasing The Traditional Mode of Success gives you a sense of purpose then great. There is reason it is not for everyone. 

The moment you start to compare your idea of success to the mimetic-desire-laden-society-version of success, then in a way you fail. It is indeed a trap and fast ager.  

It's more about how you FEEL about success than how you DEFINE success. 

IF YOU FEEL SUCCESSFUL, THEN YOU SIMPLY ARE SUCCESSFUL.

There is no ONE SIZE FITS ALL for "Success". 

You do you, but don't derive your own sense of self value from external validation.

Ask yourself: "Why do I need external validation to determine or mold my own success?"

Hear this. If you feel successful by your own definition then that is enough. Act as if you are successful because you are successful in many ways. You don't need to have external value or validation from the outside world to justify how you see your own success. Success can be as small as completing an item on a todo list or producing a work that brings you monetary value. You see the problem lies when you adopt the "One Size Fits All" success approach. That implies a sense of societal pressure to get you to act a certain way. But is that what you really want to do? Is that what you FEEL like doing?

Since there is no real act of "becoming", one can be successful where they are and where they are even if they aren't at the place they want to be. Let's say you want to be a lawyer, but you don't see yourself as a successful lawyer until you being the process. Well the first step in that journey is a success. As soon as you commit to the journey, then you are a successful lawyer. You may not have awards or much experience yet, but do you really need all that to feel successful? All of that comes with time. Trust that process and don't hold yourself to other's benign "Success" standards. Unless of course, you want to. 


W E L C O M E   T O.   T H E   H A M S T E R  W H E E L of  S U C C E S S 

Round and Round We go,

Run, Run, Run.. Take a break. Take a sip of water. 

Then back on that wheel. Keep running like you were told. Feeling tired? Run harder. 

Feeling unmotivated? Run harder. The other guy over there is doing great on the "Wheel of Success". 

Why aren't you? You gotta catch up! 

The Wheel it never stops..

Unless of course..

You get off! 


-DG-

Saturday, September 9, 2023

The Not So Benign Phenomena of Red Flag Escapism

 



"Todd has so many Red Flags that I don't know what to do. He's a nice guy, but he doesn't enjoy the shows I like or sharing his fries with me!"

It's the modern world ( In whatever capacity you want to take that term.) And in this ecosystem of the West more specifically, we are under the hypnosis of certain perverse etymological terms that permeate the membrane of our culture. Mostly surrounding the younger generations. The term "Red Flag" comes up. You may hear it in modern dating scenarios or simple relationships between people in business and casual settings. 

On the surface the Red Flag term seems to make sense, but has now been appropriated to service a type of ideological constrain where the term not only loses the depth of its meaning, but poisons the well of how we see other people. Red Flags are obviously describing and uneasy or bad quality we see in others. Sometimes and (most of the time quite frankly) we have our own issues that would improve us more as individuals if we corrected them or were made more aware of. The normalization of this "red flag" terminology seemed to have influenced the minds of people who will walk away from anything they see as a potential warning sign for a potential partner or future professional or friendly relationship. 

In order to make a Trending Construct successful, it must be repeated over and over again. Nothing like word of mouths echoing in a canyon of shallow commodities. 

Now we can all agree that there are some morally problematic factors that would cause us alarm. Those are good and fine, but most of the time this doesn't require a Red Flag label. There are insecure, unaware and manipulative people all over the place. We can condemn their behavior and offer them help without seeing them as a commodified construct that doesn't fit how we would like to see them based upon our semi-tyrannical preferences. 

We have created a social economy based around banal labels, vapid platitudes and conceptual tools to compartmentalize our insecurities and unconscious desires and ego deflectors. Reaction to discomfort and inconvenience is a useful albeit surface currency. 

Red Flag constructs have permeated into little performative projections for minor inconveniences and icky things we don't agree with people. This Red Flag culture has allowed people to unconsciously or semi-consciously compartmentalize what they think are not good for THEM moving forward. Once you start seeing these so called red flags then you are off to the races in labeling every little annoyance and flaw in a person that could very well be a potential long term partner of asset in their life. It appears as if all these Red Flag encoded labels can act as escape hatches from anything we might require a little patience, understanding or elbow grease. One can then move on to the "next one" and repeat the process. Do you see how cyclical this can turn out? 

Mindless labeling or tactical programming? Or both?

This whole red flag mentality can very well be a type of coping strategy. We think we know what we want and we invent all these symbolistic markers in response to external stimuli. It's not a bad thing. It's necessary for survival, but when we are labeling something we tend to limit it to some capacity. In a certain sense when we label a red flag we should turn it back on ourselves. Like a mirror, we can look at what we are doing and why are doing that in the moment. Really just let it be and digest. Why do we call it a red flag? It is mostly about us and our own perception or is it something more "objective" that other people would share? Well, that certainly opens up a discussion. Instead of labeling and running we can really invest some time to investigate internally without judgement, condemnation or refusal. 

So the big question centers around why we are even using the Red Flag term in the first place. Were we merely just repeating a term thrown around like a frisbee in a park? Did we just adopt this view from what other people have been saying without question? Well that certainly is a GOOD question. There's a distinct possibility that we added this grouping of words to our lexicon of vocabulary with good intention and rationality, but there is also a good chance that we just caught on to the reductionist binary of a Red Flag mentality. Hell I get it. It's easy to label things as good or bad or things that don't support the way we want to see the world. But does it really help? Does it really expand the way we see the world and help us improve the way we are living with less suffering even if it may be temporary uncomfortable? 

Use it? Lose it? Or abuse it?

DG


Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Distraction Vertigo

 



You’ve got too many options. Too many distractions and too many decisions. Which way to go? Which person to talk to? Which event to attend?

There is a vast and almost needless amount of information in this technocratic run society. All at the press of a button or swipe of the finger. We can access the wild wonderings of a social media or simply scroll with our hearts desire through the online stores of stuff we think that we need, but really just strongly desire. The question is not whether this is a good thing, it very well good provide benefits, but with every benefit there is plenty of equal or even worse costs hanging overhead. 

If we put our phone down, what else can we distract ourselves with? That book that has been collecting dust? That little piece of dry wall that needs to get repainted? Yet we procrastinate and it turns us into procrastinating practicers! A habit of putting things off that are directly in front of us. Think about doing the dishes, the more we let them pile up, the harder we need to scrub and the more anxiety inducing and dreadful it becomes. When we could just wash a few plates, dry them and put them away, we choose to walk away and answer a group text or like a post on some social media platform. 

When we let these little tasks pile up and don’t execute them we are doing ourselves a disservice. We are depriving ourselves of the reward of completing something no matter how small. Those little dopamine boosts that give us a little sense of satisfaction and motivation even if it’s temporary. One can list tasks all day as well, but prioritizing is what is important. If you have all these little things you want to do and they are of equal importance then your mind can get jumbled, overwhelmed and bewildered. Let’s see.

There are many ways to assemble a hierarchy if you will of tasks. But there’s more to this as well. You want to establish a practice. Like laundry, you want to schedule it on roughly the same day every day to get in the swing and groove and have your mind get used to the “laundry time” of the week so you don’t have to worry about it and you can plan around it. After all, having clean clothes is an important and floats up towards the top of the prioritization pyramid. It makes sense. Get the laundry done and then maybe you can reward yourself with some video game or tv time. It tastes much sweeter when you get things done you know are necessary and important. It’s like having that cold beer or sparkling water at the end of a king mowing session in the heat. It tastes much better and different when you feel that you earned it. Plus you see the fruits of your labor right before your eyes. A clean cut lawn that YOU took the time to do and execute.

Set a timer. Write it down. 

It’s these simple tasks that can turn your chaotic and attention seeking mind into a somewhat well oiled machine. It’s giving a task and a time. “Hello, mind. We are practicing piano for 30 minutes then cleaning our room for 10.” It’s those baby steps. Hell take it in 5 minute increments if you have to. Then you can work on building it up. You can do something for 5? Well you can certainly do 10 and hell soon you can do 20. Start where you are. Committing to something that feels overwhelming doesn’t mean you have to white knuckle it. In fact, if you are in a constant state of dread trying to complete a task, are you really doing your best? Doing your best for 10 minutes seems to be way better than a grueling 30. 

Say it out loud! ( or at least in your head ) 

Let’s say you’re feeling distracted, anxious and overwhelmed. Stop where you are and don’t force yourself to think of a motivational quote. Just say what you are doing or what you need to do. For example, you are cleaning out your fridge. Simply say that you are cleaning your fridge to yourself or even out loud if people aren’t around. Hell say it with people around as a declarative statement. Be bold! Maybe it will even inspire others to do the same behavior. 

Realistically you are your own unique individual.
You can bend the rules towards what works best for you. A series of personal experiments. 
Attempt a plan. Play with it as if you had the curiosity of a child. Bring about that spontaneous playfulness into your life of the mundane. 

See what happens. 

Thursday, February 16, 2023

The Weeds That Grow In Between

 



The big picture is made of seemingly smaller things. All these small things are no doubt important. Some of these small things we tend to overlook. Nevertheless its like that old saying of "the Devil is in the details". 

As you're walking down an old sidewalk you may tend to notice that there may be some cracks that grow through the cracks. Life springs in between where it originally would before the concrete foundation. It didn't have a preference or wait for the best time, but nature took its best opportunity to grow even if it wasn't the best spot. There is some great wisdom in the weeds and green that grow in the cracks and in between. 

It may seem like weeds are a nuisance when seeing them in a place where they aren't supposed to be. But the sidewalk cracked and left itself open for vulnerability and opportunity. It was a gradual process and people neglected to fill the cracks in. Nature and the environment have a powerful way of reclaiming the world around it. Who's to say that we have anything to say when nature is in charge and at play?  

What we pay attention to matters. If we start be seeing all the diverse and unique plants that grow in between the sidewalks then we will have a different outlook. How fascinating and curious our environment can change and evolve over time. When the so called weeds come to our attention then we can't simply un see it. That attention directs us towards more weeds growing in between sidewalks. Some of these so called weeds will produce flowers. Some will be sticky and green. There is plenty of variety and refreshing perspectives  right in front of us when our eyes are open. 

The cracks always get bigger over time. This allows for vegetation to expand into even bigger micro ecosystems. Ecosystems that allow for more biodiversity. Little bugs and tiny creatures can start to utilize the cracked spaces in the concrete. There are no missed opportunities for growth in nature. It's the gradual change over time that makes it beautiful. The process is something to behold. It is both spontaneous and discretely planned. It's a process of creativity. Nature works within the limits it has and uses it to the most efficient degree. Sometimes it manipulates it over time or sometimes it will go elsewhere. When an opportunity is visible, nature does not waste any time in acting no matter how slow it may seem to our naked eyes. 

Are we like the weeds growing in between the cracks? Can we be like the weeds that are growing in between the cracks? Too often we fall prey to a life that is heavy on scheduling and routine. Predictability and accessibility are key in this modern rat race world. Anytime something goes out of whack we tend to fall into a realm of anxiety and confusion. Why can't we work with the hand that is dealt to us? We can be creative and spontaneous like the weeds that grow in between the cracks. The fact of the matter is that unplanned and unpredictable events will always happen in life. It's how we act upon the things that we can't control that matters. Are we more conscious actors or unconscious reactors? Proactive or reactive?

We can patch the cracks with more concrete or some filler, but that just repairs the original version of the sidewalk. It's much more rigid and not about working with the organic nature of what is. Sure you will get a repaired sidewalk, but it will never be the same like it use to be. It will be easy to see where the fresh new filler is placed in. The cracks will be covered like a band aid that covers a wound. There might be more uniqueness in the cracks that let the weeds and life in. 

The cracks get bigger. We fill them up. We patch them up. Overtime they come back. The process starts over. The cracks may look a little different, but they are cracks nonetheless. With plenty of space for life to come through. Plenty of space for change. Plenty of space for a New Path. 

DG


Monday, September 5, 2022

I am caught in the scroll...

 


----

I am caught in the scroll,

It's like a web. A sticky web. My eyes are glued. They are heavy. Am I missing out?

Oh look another shiny thing! I use my thumbs diligently mindlessly scrolling. It's a healthy distraction. It's like a pillow of comfort, but in the back of my head I feel as if I am being pulled. Like I'm being put in tranced. Like I'm being manipulated.

Oh Look! That's a cool looking thing! How much is it? That is not too much. So glad I found this thing while I was scrolling. What if I didn't find this thing? Oh, I need to do laundry. Ok, I'll do 20 more minutes of scrolling. I should really just let my mind out and wander. 

Why do I have a headache? "I need to take a break" I say to myself in a manner of hopelessness and sheer confusion. I could have been doing other things. Important things. Things that I have always wanted to do. There's a list and some of it is on the fridge. Right in front of my face anytime I pass through the kitchen. I did it for a reason, but why can't I adhere to it? All these little steps. All these little lists and loose lipped scrawling were suppose to work. Yet I gravitate towards the comfort. The convenience of comfort. All these little lists and tasks turn into facades. A decoration of an undisciplined and unstable mind. But I digress. 

What would it take for me to stop the scrolling? It feels as if I have tried before. In a fit of anxiety and rage I thrust the distraction rectangle onto the bed. "I need to take control", I tell myself in a self perceived and unconscious moment of need. Did I really just waste 30 minutes of my time scrolling through videos of disastrous pomp and circumstance? Well I was buzzing. Each click, swipe and scroll got me. It transported me into a place where I could escape. A place where the external world and the immediate world around me was no threat and no burden. Was I learning something? Quite possibly. There were a few informative videos for sure, but will it stick? Or will it come out at a party one time as an impressive and quirky fact? It will fade for sure in any capacity. My capacity to retain information has dwindled in this immediate gratification landscape. 

It's like a disastrous appendage or a fussy infant. When I am away from my "phone" I feel a sense of lack. An immediate burst of instability and anxiety. But surely not all the time. The times I am in the moment or with people I care about that little fussy electronic infant is akin to a satiated puppy taking a nap. In those moments where I am present there is no need to "capture" it. There is no need to tell the world or log on to create a distracting and self important livestream. What matters is the moment. The experience itself and not the documentation of it. When I lose that presence do I need to tell the world about it? Do I need show the strangers of the internet the best or worst time of my life? In short, it will pass. Like everything else. An ephemeral transference of energy and attention. 

Yet there you and I are again. We go back to the device. Did someone text us? Did we get any new notifications? Has anyone liked my posts? Are there any new important news updates? Then we are sucked backed in. Sucked back into the habit of scrolling, swiping and swapping our precious time for the distraction and comfortable convenience for our own little pleasure seeking monkey mind. Are we simply running from boredom? Can we simply plop our butts down on a chair or a yoga mat and just observe what is around us? For more than a minute at least? Well, can we? 

It's very telling how it's hard for us to simply be. In public and private. We have these little portal devices that can take us out of uncomfortable moments with ourselves and other people. We can trick ourselves into thinking we are doing something productive. We can check our stocks, shop for more toilet paper, see what is happening Friday and what movie we can stream after ordering in tonight. There is a myriad of reasons for us to justify the use of this technology. We may even feel accomplished when we complete a task on our phone. And that's great. But then what? What's next? Now you are stuck in traffic and the distraction rectangle calls out to you again. All the apps just wait for you begging for your attention. God forbid you just sit and breathe and appreciate that little bit of time you have before you have to focus on not hitting that Prius right in front of you. 

Take a look around you. When you are in public, how many people are sucked into that little space? They may be sitting, walking or standing. They may even driving. Count how many people are present. How many people are on their little screens while they are in a group? Surely they didn't get together so they could all hang out in public while they look at their phones. I mean that would be quite absurd. Yet all these fleshy anxious automatons have forgotten how to be present. And yes that is most likely you at times. You and I have been there. It's not about shaming or feeling bad for doing it. It's about recognizing our behaviors and seeing them in a non judgmental light. A light of awareness that may even feel uncomfortable. But that is discomfort is a messenger. It's a portal into self growth and presence. From that we can take a breath and take a step back from the scroll. 

If it's so convenient to reach for our phones, why don't we actively make it inconvenient? What if we deleted some apps? What if we put it in the other room as we did things that give us joy? Uh oh. Have we merely forgotten things that have given us joy or made us present? That's very telling now isn't it? Did we ever really get satisfaction or joy from all that scrolling or did it make us feel like an empty confused vessel when we stopped? We may have walked around for a mere 10 minutes and then we were back in it. Just mindlessly scrolling. Maybe for a fractionally smaller amount of time, but none the less still mindlessly scrolling. 

Our minds buzz at times when we feel like we are in an uncomfortable spot away from our phone. It's like we are little toddlers reaching for that favorite blanket or teddy bear. You are way more than your notifications and the likes and attention that is given to you over the internet sphere. Do we always feel rushed? Has the scrolling trained our minds to Go!Go!Go! without any space for real rest? That's a great question. What happens when we slow down? What happens when we focus on these little tasks at hand? How we crack an egg on a pan. How we open the car door and start the car. How we brush our teeth and hair. How we do one thing usually translates to how we do other things and in the bigger picture EVERYTHING. 

So go slow. If you notice that little irritability bug pop up when you reach for your phone or you are away from your phone, try going slow. Like it's a performance. Like it's a dance. Are you present when you are doing the dishes? Are you really present with how you are folding the towels. When we escape that Rat Race mind that focuses on going from one thing to another in a fit of manic unconsciousness, we can really be in tune with presence. We can be in tune with the merging of the inner and outer. An interplay of sensory data and how we respond to it. Is that can opener giving you trouble? Take a breath and take it slow. Really be with that process that one would think is mundane and irrelevant. Really BE with that. You will see how you can improve in all tasks. Especially in the ones that give you immediate discomfort and trouble. 

What time is it? You want to check the time. But guess what. The only way is your phone. Well, not the only way, but the most convenient and most familiar this day and age. And that's ok. We can learn from it. We can get an ugly clock or even a sundial. ( That will take more learning and getting use to.) Because once we check that screen we may be bombarded with texts and notifications. Surely, you can turn those off as well, but the practice is what is important. The practice of being in the process and staying with those little waves of discomfort. It's like those little cravings. We may crave something sweet, but if we don't resist it and simply listen to it does it tend to dissipate? Do we tend to forget that we were craving something sweet moments later? It's an interesting thought. God knows we are always loaded with those. In and out in cyclical patterns. Popping in our heads like noisy birds on a tree branch. 

Ask yourself: Is it necessary that I check my phone at this time? Do I need to log on to an app to scroll? Do I have better things to do? Should I really at least try to complete one of those tasks on the list on the fridge? 

A fairly good introductory practice might be to have concrete goals or tasks for why you would need to go back to your phone. Are you going to post something insightful or productive? Are you going to make something that you feel good sharing with the world? Or are you in a whirlwind creative moment where you need to record, write or jot something down and that phone can turn into a tool? Ah there we go! Like the need of the hammer for a nail. Do we always need to use or hold an hammer? Certainly not. What if we could change our relationship with how we saw these devices? What if we could also use these phones as phones? In the purest way possible. And everything else can be like a Swiss army knife type of function. An app as a pencil or saw. Etc etc. 

Breaks are your friend. Space is great. Pauses are relieving. Take a time out. Set timers for your screen time. You need punctuation between sentences and spaces between paragraphs. Inhaling and exhaling. The push and the pull.

Reward yourself when completing these offline and off-phone tasks. Would scrolling be a decent reward? Would it leave us feeling satisfied and collected with ourselves? Is there something else that could be a better reward? Are we treating ourselves like dogs? Are we are own little science experiments?

Take a step back. Have an out of body experience. How would you see yourself if you could see yourself caught in the scrolling? Like a hovering orb. Would you be judgmental? Would you be sad? Would it make you tense up inside? Well, listen to that. Take that imaginative step back and hover without judgment. Without the need to make yourself more disciplined, focused and better. Really breathe it in and release. You will find the scrolling to be a lot less enticing and lot less grabbing for your constant attention. No more resistance or fighting. What you resist persists, but observing is illuminating. 

DG 


Sunday, August 21, 2022

The Persecution of Karens


 


There you are. Staring at your hypnotic black rectangle. You see something in the feed. A video of an older lady (mostly white) yelling at someone in public. It's a spectacle. It gives us a little boost of attention and energy. We become reactionary. How would a woman get so unhinged the public sphere? Well, now everyone is a documentarian. A surveillance state of a conspicuous consumers and unconscious actors. It's easy to judge someone or get mad at someone when you don't know them and its filtered through the sticky webs of the internet. 

It's easy to call these unhinged somewhat middle aged strangers in the feeds as names. Sure, the name Karen sticks, but it's also a label that separates us from the humanity of the person we are viewing. Once we stick to a label, we limit that person and more importantly limit ourselves. These labels eliminate the whole picture. The compassion, the curiosity and the willingness to understand the actions of others. When we manufacture that Karen label we also risk us becoming what we hate or despise. An unhinged reactionary person who doesn't understand the whole picture. 

These "Karens" are suffering and most likely unconscious individuals. They are wrapped up in their own traumas. Some that we may share. Some that we may not even understand. Now in this age, it's almost impossible to get away with going crazy without it being filmed. Then it spreads. Like wildfire at times. Then this person is suffering from past trauma is lambasted, categorized and hated across the world. People will without a thought press a button just to share a video of this Karen. Maybe they find it funny. Maybe it conjures up an emotional reaction. Now this Karen is defined by a video that is probably less than One percent of their entire existence. They are thrusted into the trials and tribulations of strangers who want nothing more than to make fun or even wish harm on these individuals. A mob of clowns, demons and dolts. ( Now here I go labelling. )

What good does it to write off all these suffering individuals as a group of cultural construct that integrates the into the lexicon of our society? Are we showing compassion or even being proactive in providing a service to get these people the help they need? Sometimes it takes a long gaze in the mirror that we might be doing more harm than good in a world that most definitely needs less harm. What are we projecting? What are we really doing when we collectivize people into categories? Are we stripping them of their individuality and the whole picture of suffering? 

Sure these Karens can be a spectacle, but where does it go? Is there a point where we can drop the act and really get to the root cause and not the symptoms that we often revel in? If I were in the shoes or dress of one of these Karens, I could really attempt to understand why they act the way they act. The label would fade. I would try to imagine why someone would be so rash or reactionary. Was there times in my life that never got caught on film where I was acting out? Maybe not a stranger, but a loved one. How did I feel afterwards? Vindicated? Regretful? Relieved? Most importantly what was my reaction before and after this event of acting out? Now you see. Do we consider these things when watching videos of these so called Karens? Once we stop the inward journey, we tend to focus more on the outrage others. 

Do we really think we are better than other people we label? What are we compensating for?

What are we projecting?

Maybe these Karens need therapy. Maybe they need more love and to address their traumas. Does it really matter what we think about these Karens? How we shoo them off? How we write them off. Karens aren't real. They are an idea. That idea that tends to inform our perception. Well, it more or less distorts it rather. We make it more real than it actually is. And the bad thing is that is about people. People with feelings, trauma and stories. People that would probably be us if we had the exact environmental and genetic components. 

Are we patient enough to get the whole picture? Are we willing enough to take a breath and be ok with the uncertainty that we don't have the whole picture? Who are we to judge? Who are we label and discriminate? These Karen videos are reflected in the pupils of our eyes. Like a mirror, but it's not directly looking at ourselves, but an amorphous idea of who or what we are in that moment. 

How many times have we acted like a Karen in our own head? Just not in the real world. Did we give ourselves a name? Did we call ourselves things we normally wouldn't call ourselves? Our wired, turbulent and reactive mind can sometimes transport into a dark part of our imagination. Many of us like to run away from that. 

You and I are both Karens in our own right.

We run towards comfort, security and certainty. Most of us can keep it in our own heads and let it play out. Maybe we take a time our or we distract ourselves, but we never act out what we perceivably would like to do or think we would like to do in our own heads. What does that say for the so called Karens who don't have that control? Should we further the shame of people who can't seem to contain their trauma or unchecked rage? Should we throw them in the town square as we laugh at them and scorn them? Doesn't seem too civilized to me. 

DG


Sunday, August 14, 2022

Please don't get political, I am eating a sandwich.

 



Please don't get political. I am eating a sandwich. I just want to enjoy this allotted time in my day for this delicious sandwich that was served to me. The bread is warm and slightly moist. The meat inside is mostly organic and there is also mayonnaise and a little bit of salt. Oh there is also a little sliver of tomato. Not too thick mind you. A real treat. I normally don't eat sandwiches like this, but I was craving one and thought I somewhat deserved it. The atmosphere is nice in here, but there is some tension.

Please don't get political while I am eating this sandwich and drinking this cold ice tea. I see enough on the day to day from the doom scrolling. Everyone always at their necks. Everyone always trying to get me to think a certain way or be afraid of a certain person, party or group. It's all such a mess. If it give you value by all means keep up with the political talking points and diatribes, but I am simply trying to enjoy what is in front of me. An agricultural act paired with dancing the taste buds. 

People are mad. I get it. Some think it is quite possibly the end of the world. I mean it very well could be. I think that the earth could simply explore or implode at any moment. It could get hit by a giant asteroid and we could all be incinerated in minutes if not seconds. Alas, here we are. Some people can't simply stop to smell the roses. They can only focus on the heaps of trash that crowd their minds and timelines. An agitator of contentment and instigator of anxiety. When is the last time they just had a sandwich and didn't get politics involved? I asked myself.

There's a push and pull for how individuals and groups of people want the world to move towards to. Some idolize the past and that shows up in their politics. Some idolize a more utopian future and that comes out through their actions, complaints, feverish rants and ideological take downs. Who is to say is right? We vacillate between what we think would be right for us and the world around us. As crazy as we think that is. It's hard for us to conceive of us as a whole human species when politics does such a great job in dividing and conquering us. A real pairing of gluten free bread and a less harmful and more human type of circus. The carousel keeps spinning however. Some of us get off, but the others still like to ride even if it's the same imagery passing by you every 5 seconds. We get use to our old ideas and that tends to hurt us. 

It's had to get ideological when you are stuffing your face with good food. Especially when it is made by a professional. Fresh ingredients and the artistry of putting a sandwich or any food together is truly an amazing experience. There is no need to critique it with your ideological framework. It exists and it's good. It tastes good. It nourishes and satiates you. It brings back memories of great food of the past. A dense of sense and sensualities encased in a ritualistic dining experience. With or without candles. 

Really it's those moments of being present that can take us away from the doomscrolling and constant regurgitated click bait headlines. It's the simple things or how much of us might consider simple compared to the routine train wreck of cyclical and compulsive thought cycles we experience on a moment to moment basis from sunrise to sundown. You know, that first cup of coffee. That breeze you feel at night after a hot day. That feeling you get when plopping your butt on the couch after a long day at work. We appreciate the rests between the notes when we are truly present. It's those punctuations in between the sentences that really make us appreciate and understand the rat race around us. When we breathe we must inhale and then exhale or we would be in a lot of trouble. 

Please don't get political when I am getting the check. I am going to give a good tip. Looking back at my thoughts, I feel as if I am being political by telling people how I think they should act. I mean why would their feeble political driven lies be of concern to me ESPECIALLY when I am eating a sandwich? That's a very introspective and interesting question. I am thinking about it as if I chewing the remnants of the first bite of the sandwich. It's the first few bites that really set in that the experience. You get that boost of happiness and the smile on your face. You close your eyes with a smile. Like a McDonalds commercial, you escape all the problems you were swirling in your head beforehand. In that moment nothing matters more, but the dance of flavors on my tongue. A marriage or nourishment, pleasure and reaction. This is it. This is now. 

DG