Search This Blog

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Judge me!

Judge me
You heard me. Go ahead and judge me. It's fine actually. I certainly won't judge you for judging me. That would make me quite hypocritical wouldn't it?
You actually have every "reason" to judge me and other people around you. Pick apart their lifestyle choices that don't match yours. Look down upon their behavior with scorn. You know so much more don't you?
We sometimes trap ourselves in our own heads. We ruminate and reward our own pigeon holed and limited perspective. There is nothing necessarily "wrong" with this. It's remarkably human to cater to your own biases and desires.

We don't want people to judge us. We want to run away from any sense of criticism like cockroaches to a kitchen light coming on. We know what we think and we like it. We know we could certainly be better and do better, but gosh darn it we think we are doing our best.
There are certain times where judgment might work to our advantage, but we tend to confuse judgment with discernment. We can discern from a moral position wrong from right. In any case, every has their own unique situation and there lies more importance in finding the "why" in someone's behavior than the so called wrong doing attached to behavior itself.

We are doing are best with what we know at each moment, aren't we?
Usually judgment stems from a place of misunderstanding, miscommunication and unconsciousness. If we want to break that tightening grip of judgment, we must approach each situation with patience, tenderness and compassion.
It's a tricky balance.
We can attempt intellectualize our emotions all we want. We can try to detach and reason with why we are feeling the way we are feeling.
It's equally as important to feel our emotions and witness our ego mindset of judgment.
What does judgment of yourself or others do to your body? How does affect your mood? How does it add to personal growth? How does it feel when someone judges you?
Take a minute to recognize the mind and body connection with the illusory monster of judgment.
Does it take over you?
Do you let judgment take the wheel?
Check it.
What do You have control over? Judgment is a great teacher. It brings our insecurities into the light. Like shiny sharp objects. It can force us to look at the things that make us feel most perturbed and uncomfortable. So aren't we being judgmental when we think someone is being overtly judgmental? Think on it.
When someone nastily approaches you with unconscious judgments and criticisms, how do you react? How do you react within your body? Do you outwardly express your insecurities and emotions?
So since it is counter intuitive to try to control people's behaviors, you can really only be responsible for your reaction. That's stoicism 101 for you.
We can release our resentment for people that implement the judgy side eye ( JSE ) and come from a place of non-resistance. We can only see them for who they are at that moment. When our minds create a story of the individual(s) in question, that's where the ego likes to take control.
Assuming we know why someone is acting on is a bad failure. People will always judge. Let them have that freedom.
Judgment thrives on comparison. When you deduce your reasoning to such benign comparison, you are starting to sacrifice your sense of self and intelligence. Intelligence in its truest form does not thrive on comparison. Intelligence provides a clear point of view void of judgment.
Why let judgmental people take up so much of your head space?
Why let judgmental people steal so much of your joy?
Let them stew in their own unconsciousness. Let them be who they think they are. Let them be.
It is not a profitable business to try to control people's behaviors.


Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Hugging the Cactus

Hugging the Cactus

You feel it in your chest.
You feel it in your body.
That sharp sting. That discomfort that takes comfort in throwing your thought processes off track and throwing quick jabs at your gut.
How bloody inconvenient!

We try so hard to escape those self created problems and inconvenient feelings that we never allow ourselves to experience the totality of what has been so nicely displayed in front of us.

What if we were to do something radical and embrace those metaphorical and literal thorns that jab us in our life situation?

What if we were to simply "be with" and express gratitude for the pain that we have allowed to disturb our fleshy meat vessel?

It's there lingering. That social anxiety that picks at you in public. That sheer irritation of not knowing what to do.

There is no use in escaping. It comes back with bigger gloves. Tighter gloves to strangle you into discomfort.
The uncomfortable fleshy meat suit body that writhes in all directions.

Those toxic floating thoughts that float in the lukewarm hot tub of your head. Synapse misfires. Small spikes of anxiety.

As the therapist would ask, "how does it make you feel?"

Well, how does it?
How does it feel to be so uncomfortable? So riddled with anxiety and uncertainty.
Those prickly thorns that stick in your side and dig in your mind.

What if we were to embrace all that and simply accept it? Simply accept all past actions and small bursts of embarrassments and humiliations of the past. Simply accept your sheer discomfort in the moment.

Simple enough?
Well you might say that it's not that simple and you're right. It seems hard, but like anything it takes patience and practice. It's being ok with not being ok. It's being fine with having an outburst or small flub of emotional distress. It's being content with not being content. It's about accepting how you really feel and actually "feeling" it.

Not bottling it up.
Not pushing it aside like an empty beer bottle. Not putting it back up in the closet.

Just like a cactus. It's prickly and quite unique. We know very well that you can't touch it. Those prickly spines are not inviting.

So all that anxiety, those worrisome thoughts, that sadness, depression, emptiness and loneliness are all part of the cactus. You can take a step back and look at it and know that fighting with or touching it will simply be unproductive.

We can accept that the cactus is there  and can help us being more aware of our inner workings. We can appreciate them and decorate and arrange them upon the mantle of our cerebral cortex.

Let us not be afraid of these sensational succulents. Let us accept those prickly spines with open arms. Hug the cacti within you. Let us not be  afraid. We can wrap our metaphorical arms to feel the full spectrum of pain, the gift of embracing our demons. Loving the parts we have hated and resisted for so long.

We can be lovingly aware of these colorful cacti. Appreciate them without touching them or embrace them knowing the consequences. Embrace them with the intention of feeling the power of their full sting. Sitting with it. Breathing with it.

Hugging the cactus means we can have the courage to be vulnerable and embrace all of our self perceived faults and weaknesses.

Hugging the cactus means we can not resist and be in awe of painful thoughts and feelings. We can feel out the totality and the awesome full spectrum of humanity.

Hugging the cactus means are ok with  riding out the discomfort and fully accept the sting of our own self perceived and delusional sense of reality.

Hugging the cactus means loving the things we once saw as negative. It means accepting the suffering of others and seeing them as our teachers and less of our own outward projected enemies and demons.

The cactus is you.
Love that spiny yet beautiful living organism with all the attention and compassion that you can bare.
You are such a unique cactus.


Thursday, December 15, 2016

Journey Into the Unknown without your Phone

Journey into the unknown without your phone.

Journey into the unknown without your phone.
Scary isn't it?
What shall you do?
Talk a walk that isn't distracted?
Sip on coffee without that glaring screen?
Write a song?
Write freely without a goal?

At first it becomes a little unsettling. The discomfort of not having that rectangular computer like object when you need to run away from your thoughts. When you need that crutch. When you need that fix. What do you do?

Like flies to a light.

Do you reach for something else?
Do you look around the room for another distraction?

It's the...
(( Reach for the Rectangular Object ))

Like the call of the nicotine cylinder.

You can see it now.
Your lustful grabbing.
Your insatiable appetite to occupy your mind. The phone became your safety blanket. You were under the control of the magical device. You outsourced your cognition so that the phone could memorize what you didn't want to. You obeyed the convenience of the device. With a couple taps, you could connect with and friend, order food, play silly games and get enthralled wit the bells and whistles of the continuous "feed".

Your phone was the physical manifestation of certainty. The safety blanket that fit in your pocket. Your sense of security and identity.

You feel your heart skip a beat when you realize you forgot your phone. A jolt of worrisome energy courses down your spine. Where did your life force go? You have been cast into discomfort and anxiety. The phone became a part of you, didn't it?

An Auxiliary Limb. The technological modification for living in the rat race modern world.

Your phone was an exit strategy from the present moment.
Your phone was a quick retreat from discomfort.
A quick gift for your reward centers.

You have to ask yourself.
Does it serve me?
Does it serve your neurosis?

Do you serve it?
Do you always answer the call of its constant reminders of notifications?
Do you quickly reach for it when you have a thought or "inconvenient emotion" that is bugging you?

You just can't remember the name of that actor on the one tv show can you? It's driving you crazy. You must know now!!

A divine comedy.

Look how far we come. The world at our fingertips. Information at the flick of the wrist.

Can we sit or simply walk with that discomfort?

Take a walk without your phone.

When you go into the grocery store, leave it in car.

Try it.

"I mean is that smart phone even making you smarter?"

When you are driving your car, try putting it into the glove compartment?

Just try it?

Oh how lovely it is to cling to certainty. To have that safety computer in your pocket. To have access to things far away. But what about right in front of you? What about the people around you in the "real world"?
What about the ecosystem and the people living out their lives around you? Sharing the same air. Driving on the same roads.

What about the friends you have neglected?
What about the loved ones you lost touch with?
What about the squirrel chase you missed because you were on the phone?

What else have you missed??!?
What other wonderful ephemeral musings have you squandered by being seduced by a rectangular screen?!

Well what can you do?
Maybe be ok with not reaching for that device when you think you need it. What are some other options?

Well don't escape it silly!
Feel it out!
How does affect your body?
Feel that anxiety?
Some progress to be made.

Small steps go a long way.
Mistakes will be made.


Monday, December 5, 2016

Immense Gr(attitude)

Immense Gr(attitude)

There are plenty of things to be grateful for. Material things. Relationships. The life situation you are in. It is important to be mindful of our relationship to ourselves and how it affects the perceived “outside” world. There are plenty of practices you can perform express your gratitude.

You can write down things you are grateful on a daily basis or moment to moment. Bringing your appreciation and gratitude to light is an essential part of maturation and inner growth. The awareness and vulnerability to simply redirect your thought process towards gratitude can have immense effects on everything in your life situation.

We all find ourselves in hard times and emotional struggles from time to time. This is part of the immense spectrum of emotion that has been gifted to us at birth. How amazing is it to be able to feel so many emotions?

We tend to want to grasp onto the good and “rewarding” emotions because it makes us feel content, comfortable and what we can label and perceive as “happy”. When something like sadness, anger or depression hits us, we want to escape it like it’s the plague or an annoying mosquito. None of us want to hold onto sadness. That would perpetuate more sadness, but continuing to resist these “bad” emotions can lead to more destructive behaviors further down the line. The more you resist, the more these self perceived inconvenient emotions will persist with more strength and potency.

“Fix your Attitude.”

What do you think of this phrase? I am sure you have heard something like this before. Maybe you were acting irritable, stubborn or anxious and someone wanted to simply change your whole emotional disposition. Although the intention of this might be good, it doesn’t really help the situation at large. The person telling you to fix your attitude is trying to whether he or she knows it or not, to control your behavior in order to suit their own agenda and comfort. This phrase shouldn’t be retaliated against with more aggression. That would be extremely unproductive. Just because they can’t accept your emotional landscape at the moment, doesn’t mean you should try to fix their unconscious behavior. Get the picture?

 So how can we take responsibility for our emotions and not try to escape our current emotion with resistance and “acting out”?

This is a great question. We must take responsibility for our actions and emotions. This is fundamental in the human growth mindset.

First: You feel those emotions. Feel them in your body. Breathe. Don’t try to suppress them.  Refrain from saying “ I’ll be ok”. You will be. It will pass. Experience that inconvenient emotion with your whole body. You can choose to simply “relax” through it.

It may be hard. Good. That’s your mind trying to retreat from experiencing the negativity and discomfort in your body. No need to push back, just think of that passing emotion as an enclosed water slide. There is an end to it. Might as as well enjoy the unexpected twist and turns and the flow of the water, right?

Second: So you’ve made it through the hardest step.
How can we work on that attitude now?
Do you feel slightly less heavy than before?
Do you feel more “in control”?
Do you feel somewhat balanced?

If not, that’s ok. Patience is key.

Let’s tie this in with the gratitude we talked about above.

You may have the inkling to just try to relax through this whole emotional turmoil or try to think of all the negative things your mind was throwing at you.
What if you were to do the radical thing and switch that negativity switch to gratitude mode?
Think of it as reformatting your internal hard drive. Fixing glitches in the software. Upgrading your mental operating system. Rerouting those Neural Pathways.

What are you grateful for?
Think of 3 things.
Just at the top of your head.
Don’t question them, just accept them. Let them in. Remember what I told you about resistance. No need for that here.

Does your mind end at 3 grateful things?
Surely, there is more? Right?
Gratitude has no ending. No period. No exclamation mark. No pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. That’s the beautiful thing. From the tiniest to the biggest. Everything counts. Everything holds fabulous weight.

You can be grateful for:
Your toothbrush
Your comb
That mole on your left arm
The ability to afford groceries.
The ability to drive a car.
Your central air.
Your plumbing.
The Internet

Onward and Upward.
The snowballing of gratitude. The domino effect of thankfulness.
The Immense Power of Acceptance.

Look at the list above.

See what I did there. I literally just listed things I was grateful for at the top of head. Straight off the dome. No rehearsal. No premeditation. As I was doing this, I felt a warmness. A warmness that filled my heart and soothed my mental reward centers. It is a win win scenario.

What beauty comes from spontaneity. The embracing of uncertainty.
The yielding to vulnerability and whole hearted living.

You fix your attitude by fixing your gratitude.

You can even be grateful for things that you see as “negative”.
Maybe something bad happened to you or you yelled at a close friend. There are so many things we wish we could have done better. There are many things that we think we regret. There are many things that have made us feel guilt and shame. This is progress. Why not be grateful for the “bad things” that have waken you up and contributed to your growth as a person? Why not be grateful for the lessons you have learned from trying times? All in all, when you become more grateful, you see the sheer absurdity in the past negative reactions and thought processes of the past. You can move past that negative mind and be present. What a gift to be able to emerge from darkness with strength, wisdom and the ability to grow.

What do you choose?

When that negativity seed gets planted in your head, how are you going to make it grow. Are you just going to let it sit there in the dark? Are you just going to let it sit there and fuel your negative energy? Or. Are you going to let it emerge from that soil of darkness and bloom? Bloom into a flower of gratitude. A flower resilient to anything that is thrown at it.


Flowers grow from Sh*t.

Immense Gratitude,

Dieter Geisler

Monday, November 28, 2016

Irreplaceable: A Scientific Look into a Classic Song.

I am going to attempt to analyze the hidden meanings of Beyoncé's song "Irreplaceable." 
On the surface it may seem pretty to the point. Classic break up/ independent woman type of song that gets caught in your head like 99 Red Balloons. Although some of the lyrics may be pretty basic and probably carefully written in a board room, there is a depth to what Beyoncé is saying. 
A majority of the lyrics in this song have some roots in evolutionary biology and anthropology. This may seem like a silly and obtuse stretch, but there are several factors that warrant this type of research. 
I will attempt to break down the lyrics and describe what the could mean in an evolutionary and scientific context. 
To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
^^ Beyoncé is basically signaling to the male that she is simply done with him in a romantic sense. She is hinting to the fact that the male is not a good provider and certainly not worthy of trading her fertile eggs for resources or fostering a stable family unit. 
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff, yes
If I bought it please don't touch,
^ Beyoncé is signaling to the male to take his things and resources and find shelter somewhere else. 
The male at this point may feel threatened and may even try to win her over by groveling and appeasing her wishes. If the male sees Beyoncé as as viable mate, he might engage in behaviors that would I against his usual character or judgment. Beyoncé is signaling the male to not touch her property and also shows her financial independence by pointing out what she has acquired by herself without male intervention. She is basically telling the male that his resources are not useful and she will be much better off as a financially independent and sound woman ( until the next courtship comes along). 
And keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time?
And it's my mine name that is on that tag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab
^ These lyrics are an extension from before. She is reiterating that she doesn't want her property to be tampered with. She is also hinting that the male is visibly angry or perturbed from her decision to end the romantic courtship. The male with visual and verbal cues, signifies that he doesn't agree and will act in a threatened and immature manner. Some of his behavior could have been influenced from prior relationships where the female was defensive, combative and hard to reason with. Unless the male does some significant self work, he will repeat the same behaviors and attract the same relationships. This also goes for Beyoncé's judgment as we will see later on in the song. 
Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted
^ At this point, both have reached a level of irrationality and unconsciousness. Beyoncé and the male are coming from a place of perturbed reaction that is being stimulated at the amygdala and hippocampus. Both Beyonce and the male have overactive Lymbic Systems caused by an imbalance of chemicals and dietary unconsciousness. Their pre-frontal cortex's takes a back seat and their decisions are driven by adrenaline and the stress hormone cortisol. They resort to using ad hominem fallacy and their emotional circuits are on high alert due to the amount of threat and emotional stress. 
A significant amount of this congruent behavior could be correlated with The General Factor of Personality  ( GFP ) that pairs personality traits with mating strategies.
"According to this view, which I have discussed in a number of posts, there is a broad factor of health and vitality known as the K-factor, that is associated with not only the fast/slow spectrum of reproductive strategies, but with a general factor of personality (GFP) that combines all the major traits in a socially desirable way.[1] Hence, individuals with a slow strategy should generally be high in a combination of traits such as extraversion, emotional stability, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness to experience, while those with a fast strategy should exhibit low levels of these traits, along with high levels of antisocial traits including the Dark Triad of psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and narcissism. There is research to suggest that Dark Triad traits facilitate short-term mating and sexual promiscuity (Jonason, Li, Webster, & Schmitt, 2009; Jonason, Valentine, Li, & Harbeson, 2011). However, whether high levels of a GFP facilitate long-term mating has not been studied. "
From the information above, we can attempt to correlate the male and Beyonce's behaviors with the GFP K-Factor Strategy that would lean more towards "Fast". The Dark Triad traits signify that both partners have developed a habit of short term mating through the acts of promiscuity and infidelity. 
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby
^ Beyoncé is signaling that she has a significant amount of sexual fitness/ reproductive fitness where she is able to attract from a big mating pool of males. Her confidence is expressed from past relationships and her awareness of her own sexual potency through her body. She may think she is "hot" and other males may think that too, but her unchecked ego mask of confidence may lead her down a path of disappointment down the line if she doesn't figure out why she acts the way she acts. 

"Individuals in each region most readily attracted to, or excited by, mates of the type there favoured, in contrast to possible mates of the opposite type, will, in fact, be the better represented in future generations, and both the discrimination and the preference will thereby be enhanced. It appears certainly possible that an evolution of sexual preference due to this cause would establish an effective isolation between two differentiated parts of a species, even when geographical and other factors were least favourable to such separation." Ronald Fisher, 1930
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable
^ Beyonce is signifying again that the male is not a sexual possibility in the future nor a viable match for children. She is using shaming and guilt mechanisms to demean the male because her rationality has become compromised. Beyoncé is using this type of gaslighting to express her alpha female mating strategy that tends to objectify low quality males. Her reproductive strategy may fall closer to the R reproduction which is closer to rabbits and mice( focus on more sex and offspring and less with relationship/ active involvement in raising smaller amounts of off offspring) . She may be more hyper sexualized while having more partners than someone that would fit more on a K reproduction strategy ( eg; wolves and elephants). 
 Scott A. McGreal does a great job in describing the mating strategy most pertinent in individuals such as Beyonce'.
"Other species, e.g. wolves, have relatively shorter life spans, tend to reproduce more frequently, give birth to multiple infants at the same time, and provide parental care over a relatively shorter period of time; hence they are considered fast strategists. One thing I find puzzling about this is the claim that slow strategies are supposed to be associated with monogamy, while fast strategies are associated with promiscuity and short-term mating. Short-term mating is relatively common in mammals, including elephants, where males provides no parental care at all."
Based upon this analysis, it doesn't totally prove the motivation for Beyonce's actions. These mating strategy studies may offer more of a biological glimpse into the vast complexities of sexual desire and reproduction practices. 
So go ahead and get gone
And call up that chick and see if she's home
Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know
What did you think I was putting you out for?
^ Beyoncé is expressing her awareness that the male being broken up with has other sexual interests. The male might have been unfaithful in their relationship and that is why she feels she must end the courtship. Beyoncé expressed the same thing before however saying that she has a litany of men waiting for her to objectify. This is a case where like attracts like. Their sexual attraction and reproductive strategy has ties with how they were raised, environment and the relationship with their parents. 
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby you dropped them keys
Hurry up before your taxi leaves
^ This goes to prove that the male was unfaithful. She feels threatened and is expressing that the male is unworthy of her attention, eggs or protection. 
So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you
Baby I won't shed a tear for you, I won't lose a wink of sleep
'Cause the truth of the matter is replacing you is so easy
^ Now, Beyoncé is being direct about her intentions and that simply replacing the man won't be a problem. She is finding a quick fix to avoiding the hurt that she has felt from the emotional anguish caused by the male. In order to escape, she resorts to flaunting her sexual potency and engaging in promiscuous behaviors as to not feel the full extent of heartbreak(escapism). If she continues this type of behavior, she will not allow herself to grow into a mature adult able to grow and sustain a long term relationship or get into a situation where she could acceptably raise offspring and sustain a family unit.  
We can go deeper into this by taking a look at the ratio of women to men in accordance with the  sexual availability of both sexes in a certain geographic area.  
David P Schmitt Ph.D. describes this cultural sex ratio factor quite nicely.

"Of course, it is worth noting that when men are the scarcer sex, they do not insist that women engage in long-term mating in order to have sex. Unless one wanted to argue men are suppressing their own sociosexuality in high sex ratio cultures, the population-varying sex differences actually reveal a fundamental difference in men’s and women’s preferred mating strategies. When women are scarce and have the greater dyadic power, a culture of long-term mating ensues. Do sex differences in all aspects of sociosexuality completely disappear? Likely not. Not in desires and attitudes, and likely not among those who are single, as noted above."
FYI: I deleted a bunch of lyrics because they were repeats of what was said before. 
You could pack all your things, we're finished
(You must not know 'bout me)
'Cause you made your bed, now lay in it
(You must not know 'bout me)
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable
^ She finishes the song by degrading the unfaithful male and signaling that his seed must go elsewhere and she will find a more suitable mate for the future. Due to the unawareness of the mating strategy, the male will build up walls to cover his hurt and strengthen his defense mechanism against rejection.
This seems like a classic break up song, but there are plenty of hidden messages dealing with the evolution biology of humanity in nature.
McGreal, Scott. 
Schmitt P. David.


Typical White Male

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Doing 2 Being

From Doing to Being What are doing? Are you really here right now? Are you thinking about the next 10 minutes? What are you gonna do? Are you stressed over the uncertainty of the future? I feel you. Are you worried about possibly getting "bored" during your day? Are you worried that you simply aren't doing enough? Not being productive enough? Not working enough? Not fulfilling your dreams? Is your monkey mind racing? Are you worried for how you acted towards your partner the other night? You were in a stressed state. A blinding emotional fugue state. Do you just feel like you're not doing "enough"? Not being the best version of yourself that you want to be. Not living up to the your high standards and snooty expectations? Remember when you were an irritable sack of cells with multiple hair triggers? Remember when you use to yell at your lovers? Remember when you use to condemn and judge people you didn't know? That's fine. The great thing is... You're here now. In fact you have always been here. I mean you were "there", but you are "here" now. So really how great is that? How great is it that you have the foresight and the gratitude to learn from who you once were? The opening eye of awareness. The spreading wings of consciousness. Were you simply "doing" things to distract your from your inner work? The work that so begged for your undivided attention. The work that you simple tried to escape through mindless entertainment? So what were you doing exactly? Why not just be here now? Does it really matter what will happen in the next 10 minutes, hours, years? When you are attentive and present, what are you really missing? You certainly aren't caught in the mind rat race. You certainly aren't trying to attain anything to fill that void inside of you. Why not just let it be? Embrace that uncertainty. It's hard, I know. Just feel it out. Why just keep doing things to keep you "busy"? What does that do for you? How does that contribute to your inner growth? Of course, we all need to "do" things. We can't escape that. But it's not about that. It's about being present with everything you need or what to do. It is putting all your attention and energy into even the most minute tasks. Need to do those pesky dishes? Guess what. Do them, but don't hastily try to finish them. You are missing the best part. The process. The care and love. When you are present and aware, even washing a plate is an act of love. An act of appreciation for what is and what needs to be done. You may be like.. " ugh, I hate doing the dishes." That's fine, but why? It doesn't fit in the realm of what you "want" to be doing. So you see it simply as a hindrance and a chore. But what if you were to just do them without attaching yourself to an attitude or personal opinion? What if you were to see doing the dishes as a spiritual practice? Or even an expression of gratitude for what is? You could use that once laborious task as a portal into becoming more present. Reconnecting with yourself. Reconnecting with what is and what needs to be done. You will feel fulfilled in every aspect of the process. If you can't be happy or content, try being useful. Say to yourself how you are feeling. See what happens. Remember to breathe. Give your mind that task to focus on the breath. It wants something busy to keep it occupied right? Give it that task. Take your time. You can always reconnect to the breath. Slow it down. Be one with the dishwashing. Be one with driving your car. Be one with eating your breakfast. That is fulfillment. Switching from Doing to being. From grasping to letting go. From trying to allowing. From forcing to accepting. From discontent to the content of discontent. From Being separate to being part of it all. Accepting every flub, flarb and mistake along with way. Accepting it as part of the process. As part of awakening. Growing. Discovering. Evolving. How ever it comes out. Go with out. Commit to what is and what happens for you. Switch from... "How are you doing?" To.. "How are you being?" DG "There is not trying, no doing your best. Either you do it or you don't do it. You are admitting time while the house is burning." - J. Krishnamurti

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Wear your Enthusiasm.

Are you happy?
Content? Excited? 

Now did you answer no?

Why? I mean you certainly don't have to be jovial. You don't have to try to be happy to please others. That would be counter productive. Maybe you just tell yourself that you're not that type of person. You box your self into a personality mindset what you claim you have no control over. You were born that way you tell yourself. "That's just the way I am." 

You might subscribe to the Meyers Briggs personality scale to accurately try to depict who we are. You're an introvert. You're and extrovert. You're not good with socializing. You claim to have some type of social anxiety. So we leave it at that to make ourselves feel more content and comfortable with who we think we are. The image in our brain that has been swirling around to try to validate our own illusory sense of self. 

Do you see personality and general disposition as something that simply "happens" to you? 

Something you have no control over?

So you have social anxiety? 

What do you do? Is it a label that you simply cling on to to avoid discomfort? Is it a part of your ego that wants to continually preserve itself to avoid conflict? Do you duck behind that wall of comfort to avoid from breaking from your ill perceived comfort zone? 

" That's just who I am." 

Not necessarily. Maybe not all. 
You immediately box yourself in. You limit yourself. You don't allow yourself to explore the murky waters of uncertainty. You perpetuate that fixed mind set.

You say:

I have always has social anxiety, so therefore I will always make that part of my identity. 

It's the false identifer. 
The mind that creates the sense of self based upon the product of time and experience. 

The voice in your head trying to perpetuate the neurosis of compulsive thought. The thoughts in your head that try to trick you into thinking that you are "of the mind". That you identify with the hollow hungry desire that can never be fulfilled. That your identity exists wholly with the slightly coercive thoughts that exist in your head. 

So you choose to remain socially anxious. 

You choose to remain in the same consciousness that bases itself in compulsive thought. In the constant reach for instant gratification and escape. The constant impulsivity to escape the present moment. The resistance to what is. 

You can think of these self identifiers as physical adornments. 

A hat. A necklace. Some dirty socks. A mask. A pair of boxers. 

What you wear doesn't define who you are. What you wear defines on your self perceived identify. 

You may like to wear red. It excites you. It makes your feel good. It makes you feel confident. It may make you feel more confident than wearing blue. So interesting to see how beautifully unique our minds are. How beautifully diverse our preferences and perceptions can be. 

It may make you feel more confident. It may be "fake" confidence, but fake confidence is the same as confidence in theory. Any time you want to be "more confident", you are simply just manufacturing in your head what "more confident" can be. So in essence trying to fake confidence is the same as tring to be more confident. It comes from the same place. It is a mask. A charger pack for your illusory sense of self. 

You can tell yourself to be happy. 
You can tell yourself to be more confident. 
You can tell yourself to cheer up.
You can motivate yourself by simply telling yourself that you need to motivate yourself .

Oy Vey!

So you can wear a smile physically and withing your mind. You can tell yourself to "think positively" and manufacture that type of thinking into your self perceived existence. 

The inner is a reflection of the outer. 

With that in mind, you can wear whatever you want in your head. 

You can wear that "less self conscious" hat.
You can wear that " I got this" confident mustache.
You can wear those " I'd rather not talk to anyone and read a book in a coffee shop" boxer briefs. 
You can wear those " I think I'll give a random compliment to a stranger" socks.

So what do you choose to wear?

Where's the passion? 
Where's the vigor?
Where's the spontaneity? 
Where's the willingness to be vulnerable? 
Where's the willingness to be uncomfortable? 

Where's the enthusiasm?!

Wear the enthusiasm!


Thursday, November 3, 2016

Thursday, October 27, 2016

The Abundance Train

Hop on in! 
Onto the Abundance Train! 
All are welcome. All are respected. 

The Abundance train will take you to new heights. New territories. New opportunities. Unexpected twists and turns. You might find the ride challenging, but at the same time rewarding. 

When you decide to drop those complaint filled baggages and embrace the beauty of impermanence and gratitude, you will see so much in front of you. So much that you have missed. So much that you use to struggle with. You are always here aren't you? 

Your mind is always screaming, " Anywhere, but here!" 
It wants you to focus on what you don't have. You focus on the illusory concept of "missing something". It blinds you from what you have. 

You are use to riding a different train. 
The train of thought. More specifically, the "compulsive train of thought." You are on the wrong tracks! Rickety tracks. The narrow train of thought. The narrow mindset. The one that steals your presence and makes you unconsciousness. That unconsciousness birthed out of fear. 

But you forget.
It's all around you. 

As you ride on that abundance train, you can see everything outside that window. The beautiful paintings of life that are there. There for you. There for you to witness and experience. There for you to grow. 

That immense love that radiates from you. 

If you allow it. 
If you accept it.

You can stop resisting.
You can start accepting. 
You can start being grateful for every experience. 
Good or bad.
Well, good or bad doesn't matter. It's a false duality. Your false sense of self places what is good or bad. Your mind puts them into little folders. They are there for you to learn. Some may be incredibly painful. 
Some may be incredibly blissful. 
They are tremendous teachers existing for the expansion of your consciousness. The expansion of your tenderness. 
The expansion of your acceptance. 

It's that conscious action to derail. 
Derail yourself from the unconsciousness compulsive thought systems that have ruled your life. Derail yourself from the clinging to certainty. Derail yourself from the constant feeling of discontent. 

Hopping onto the Abundance Train means the conscious action to accept. To accept how bitter you were.
To accept how uncomfortable you were.
To accept every passing mood. 

It is opening up your eyes to the vastness of support that you have surrounded yourself with. You didn't realize it before. Now you do. Now the veil is lifted.

So it may come down to two choices.
You have...

1. The Train of Compulsive thought.
2. The Train of Abundance and Acceptance.

You see those two tracks in front of you. Most likely the first one has guided most of your life choices. What happened has happened. When you become conscious of the first option, you derail from it. You can then consciously hop upon that train of abundance that is powered by gratitude and acceptance. The awareness that you were not full aware beforehand is a big door opener. 

Hop on board. 
The train can never pass you by. 
There is access in each awakening moment. 


MycoTangler 1

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Why can't you sit still ?

Why can't you sit still? 
Well, why can't you?
It's an interesting and important question. 
Have you asked yourself this before? 
It's ok if you haven't, but now is a better time than any to do it. 

Why do you always distract yourself? 
Maybe you don't mean it intentionally. Most likely it's unconscious. Your mind wants to be constantly busy and entertained. This we can understand. You don't want to be uncomfortable so you reach for what is in front of you.

A phone. 
A screen of some sort.
A book. 
A smoke. 
A drink.

Bad thoughts come flooding in. So your mind wants you to distract you from it. You want to avoid the discomfort of it all. You want to escape the strain and stress of discomfort. 

Then you develop a habitual pattern of dealing with these pebbles turned boulders. It becomes part of "how you deal with things." So you keep on keeping on with the same diversion tactics you have so unconsciously participate in. You run. You turn. You seek. You strive to just get to a place of solace and entertainment. 

You say you don't have time to meditate.
You say you don't have the time to really go deep with yourself.
You say you don't have the time to go to therapy. 
You really don't want to go out of your way to delve deep and understand your problems. What makes you tick. What makes you squirm. 

So you push it aside.
You resist and it persists. 

So you try sitting still.
What happens?
You fidget. You start getting anxious. You may get bored. You may look around the room to see what needs to be cleaned. That chair is mighty dusty isn't it? 
That one book is poking out a little more than the others.
You notice that the ceiling fan makes a weird squeaking noise that you didn't notice before. 

See what's going on?
Your mind is trying to constantly occupy itself. What happens if you try to stop this? What happens when you push back? 

The mind gets noisier. The voice gets louder. Then you start to become increasingly in comfortable in your own skin. You are what's happening with your body? Good. Feel it. Don't resist. See how the mind and body are intricately entangled together. See how your body reacts to the under turmoil of the mind. The inner turmoil of compulsive thought. 

Start at your feet. 
Bring attention to it. You can say outloud or in your head," I am feeling my feet." 
Work your way up. 
How do your legs feel? 
Your waist? Your heart? 
Your shoulders? Your neck?
Your esophagus? 

Focus on your breath. You are breathing.
No need to force. Let yourself breathe organically. Let your mind focus on the inhalation and exhalation. Simply relax. Don't try silly. Just relax. 

How are you feeling?
How is the rest of your body feeling? 
Is your mind relaxed? 
Is your body relaxed? 
Refrain from trying to make yourself relax.
That's like fitting a square in a circular hole. It's not about achieving a certain state. It's about accepting unconditionally the state in every moment. You may feel a sharp pain your chest. Feel it. Don't try to "fix" it. Feel it. You will see that it is transient. It will pass. You've resisted in the past for long enough. Let your acceptance work through the wound up neurosis. 

" I am sitting still." 
Just vibe with that. You won't be sitting still forever. 

Here comes the thoughts...
You remember you forgot to pick up toilet paper and eggs.
You remember that you forgot to call your  friend back. 
You remember that you have a deadline coming up. 

The thought flood.
Are you pushing back? 
No? Good.
You're listening. See them as balloons. You hold into them and they float just above you. What happens when you let go of them? They go up into the sky. You can see them float away at their own accord. Smaller and smaller and then they're gone. Oh look, you are holding some more! Do you need to? That's what I thought. 

What a success it is to sit still. 
To sit with what is. 
To sit with uncertainty. 
To be with your body and the space around you.
To be with your mind. 
To be with discomfort. 
To be with your thoughts. 

To Be. 


You are completely and utterly insecure!


You are so insecure!
That's not an insult. That's not an attack on your identity. Well it kinda is, but we will get more into that in a bit.

The good thing is that all of us are insecure. We can all share that commonality and flourish in the magnanimous potency of our own humanity. 

Insecurities are good. 
Why are they good you ask? 
Well, insecurities are signifiers for the work we need to do on ourselves. They are the unresolved manifesting through certain feelings, actions and behaviors. It is the hidden mosquito bugging you for your undivided and conscious attention. 

If someone insults you or attacks your presumed identity, how do you handle it?
This is an important question. How do you react? 

Keyword: Reaction. In a situation where you can't control all the outcomes, how do you react to what you don't agree with or find someway repulsive or off putting? 

Do you get defensive? That's understandable. When people are criticized and judged, they see it as a threat of survival. This is a primal reaction built in us that has manifested through certain unconscious behaviors in our lives. We put up walls to protect ourselves, to preserve our ego and to ensure that we appear as responsible and "intact" individuals. 

What happens between that space of stimulus and reaction? Are you conscious of it? Are you conscious of how your body feels before you react to something? Are you conscious of your own self projected and protected bias? 

The person acting out against you is a reflection of your own insecurities. A swabby culmination of unresolved internal conflicts that are set off from repressing and not being aware of your own inner workings of self knowledge. You have the choice to change things around. The choice to embrace your own vulnerabilities. The choice to accept and embrace the vulnerabilities of another person without so quickly trying to resolve unconscious conflict. Patience is a virtue, remember? 

So are you feeling insecure or uncomfortable?
Are you feeling angry or irritable?

Each of these passing moods are access points for growth and expanding your own self knowledge. We all hate to be angry. We all hate to be anxious. We all hate to be uncomfortable. This is all very understandable. With that in mind, how can we use these feelings and inconvenient happiness interceptors to our advantage? 

It's about sitting with the discomfort and discontent and not retreating away from it. This is a fundamental Buddhist concept. Non-resistance. Simple acceptance of each passing emotion. 

As humans, we have such a huge access to a vast spectrum of emotions. Think of them as colorful gurus, think of them as balloons that make an appearance in your skyview. We may see some emotions as good and some as bad. This is patently irrelevant. All can teach us more about ourselves and why we feel what we feel. Magnificent growth starts when you start to embrace that vast and infinite spectrum of human emotion and insecurity. 

Here's a little experiment. 

Let's say you get emotional and may take offense with what someone has said. You get angry. Seething anger that has the potential to affect your judgment. 

What do you do? 
Do you bottle it up? 
Do you take it out on the person involved? 

What if you were to take that little step back? This step back is also step forward. It's not that confusing. You step back in order to be more of a witness to what is happening within you. You can consciously take responsibility for your own reactions and emotions. 

So you step back..
Say this.
"I am angry." 
It can be out loud or in your head. Heck, you can even write it down!
How do you feel when you say that? 
What you are doing is essentially becoming conscious of your own emotions. But wait folks that's not all! Let's take it a step further. 

Saying that you are angry is still an identifier with your illusory sense of self. 

Do you understand? 

You essentially aren't anger, but your self takes the form of the "concept of anger" in order to validate it's own existence within your psyche. You are essentially feeling anger. That is the observational and non-biased perspective with that "step back" you are taking.

So you can say, " I am feeling anger."
How does that make you feel? 
Does that make you feel any "better"? 
If it does, that is ok, but this whole exercise isn't about trying to feel better. It is about opening yourself to your own insecurities and letting them reveal the delicious nuggets that are inside. It's not about a quick fix solution or a proverbial destination. It is about accepting and feeling each truly uncomfortable and comforting feeling that comes inside the house of your head. 

You were angry. 
You told yourself you were angry. 
You told yourself you were "feeling" anger. 

By saying you were feeling anger, you were distancing yourself from that feeling because you were trying to intellectualize your emotions. This is a dangerous thing to do. You become the witness, but you may also detach yourself from the possibility of human growth. 

You can simply accept and feel the emotion without trying to label it, categorize it or try to "fix" it. Feeling anger doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. Feeling anger is an access point to self compassion and self knowledge. Simple stating your emotions will help your become more conscious, but it is not a long term or a quick fix plan for personal development. Embrace without unconscious action. 

The fact of the matter is, you are not the emotions. Your template existence is presence. The presence that allows for the acceptance of what is. That allows for the embracing of impermanence and uncertainty. That allows for true vulnerability. 

When you truly feel a passing emotion, you are saying yes to the present. You are saying yes to what is. You are embracing the gift of humanity without trying to act it out with violence. You are accepting and breathing through the process. You are being with it and not resisting. As I have said before and I will say again, what you resists persists! 

Accept that you are insecure. 

That you are neurotic. 

That you can be irrational. 

That you can be irritable. 

That you can be unconscious. 

Most importantly, all of this is quite beautiful and inspiring. 

Abandon the false thought of becoming a "better" person. That label has no meaning. The goodness will flow as a by product of your presence and your willingness to accept what is and the courage to learn from what was. 

So it's not actually you that is insecure, but something inside of you is acting through you. Using you as a host body to express itself. It's there to guide you. To humble you. To bring you back into the presence instead of retreating to that swiffered comfy pillow place you always retreat to. Smile through that pain if you so dare! The amazing and miraculous human experience awaits you! 


Thursday, October 20, 2016

I accept you

I accept you.

I accept you as you are.
I accept your inability to listen at times because you are distracted.
I accept your facial compulsions that you seem to have no control over.
I accept your love of donuts and your willingness to eat them even late at night.
I accept your bias.
I accept your struggle to work out on days you just don't want to.
I accept your feelings of impatience whilst in a traffic jam.
I accept your playfulness in times of distress.
I accept your short temper in times of stress.
I accept your lack of self control when it comes to sandwiches.
I accept your complacency.
I accept your anger when no one seems to be listening.
I accept your procrastinating behaviour.
I accept you in times of emotional distress.
I accept that you have a cheesy sense of humor.
I accept that you have a tacky sense of fashion ( but it seems to work for you.)
I accept your vices that you can't seem to quit.
I accept your inability to just slow down and breathe.
I accept your habits of escaping your problems through the act of binge watching.
I accept your inability to keep a consistent schedule.
I accept your diverse taste in music.
I accept your ability to laugh in uncomfortable situations.
I accept your unawareness to read people's social cues.
I accept your impulse to speed in residential zones.
I accept your lack of control when it comes to petting strangers' dogs.
I accept your complaining in times where it warrants gratitude.
I accept your unwillingness to make your bed.
I accept your willingness to go without using shampoo for more than a week.
I accept that you don't know all the lyrics to that one song.
I accept that you may be terrible at karaoke, but at least it is entertaining.
I accept that you have a tendency to hog the queso.
I accept that you take your time when ordering food at a restaurant.
I accept that sometimes you don't know what's going on. ( Neither do I )
I accept that you are awkward with meeting new people.
I accept that you missed that one spot on your chin when shaving.
I accept that sometimes you don't do your research.
I accept that you may not be as tolerant as you think you are.
I accept that you forgot to put on deodorant today. 
I accept your sadness.
I accept your emptiness.
I accept your the asymmetrical nature of your face.
I accept that your left arm may be shorter than your right arm.
I accept that ratatouille you made as "ok".
I accept that I disagree with your politics.
I accept that you may post too much on social media.
I accept your feelings of discontent.
I accept that you may have IBS.
I accept that you may drink a little too much.
I accept your love of coffee and Americanos.
I accept that you feed your cat too much.

I accept you.

The importance of Service

-Helping an old lady cross the street.
- Helping a friend move.
- Cooking for family and friends.

The list is endless. There are so many creative ways for people to do service every day. To serve your fellow man while humbling your own soul. Service is certainly not about attaining something, but involves presence and the surrender to a will of humanity and compassion. 

Do we do enough service? 
Do we see service as a check list for us to make us feel better about ourselves?
Do we cleverly compartmentalize kind tasks in between our ever so busy schedule? 

From an evolutionary and economic perspective, humans respond to incentives. The term reciprocal altruism comes to mind. We do kind and nice things with the underlying intention that we are going to have the same thing done to us in the future. We may subscribe to the belief of karma in order to hit our reward centers in our brain. The illusory golden rule of doing onto others becomes ingrained into our collective unconscious. 

We set these expectations, but expectations seem to be the root of all heartache. It should be no surprise that we get a boost of dopamine in our reward centers when we help someone in need. It's a natural medication. It feels great. It distracts us from our own problems for a little bit. We longer become the center of attention and we merge into an almost effortless sense of cooperation and communion with others. 

We tend to forget how service can do so much good for our internal atmosphere. We gravitate towards more instant gratification escape mechanisms that soothe us in the moment. We might go towards that beer instead of calling up a friend and asking how we can help. We might lazily plop ourselves on a couch and watch a fantastical tv show that distracts us from our own drama. It's a reflection of unconsciousness and inability to gravitate from habitually patterned comfort zones. 

When we stop from trying to manufacture an experience of service just to do "service", we can surrender to a new sense of discovery. We can abandon our "trying to be a good and fulfilled person" tasks for a life of spontaneity and compassion. It begins with the melding of what is and not what will be better for you or someone else in the long run.

 When you are fully present, opportunities will flow to you like a stream and offer you the space to take conscious action. From conscious action, springs the core of humanitarian compassion and love. You act with kindness without effort. You spring to help out a fellow man without the thought of what you will "get out of it". You delight in the freedom to lift someone's spirits just by being there. Being there to listen. Being there to comfort and accept one another. Being there to understand the vast spectrum of humanity. 

Even the smallest actions of service add up to make big impacts. The power to elevate someone's mood and disposition is a big one. They may not ask for help. Most of the time they won't. It is about being in tune with the ecosystem around you and within you . That ability to make someone laugh might trigger a domino effect for the rest of their day. Their heavy thoughts might get lifted and they can free themselves to do what they are passionate about. The micro actions play a huge part in changing the perceptions of others and yourself. They play a huge part in influencing the collective social consciousness. 

Knowing what someone wants before they ask for it is key. 
Knowing what someone may want even if they don't know it involves an heightened sense of awareness. 

It's not about amassing a giant list of service tasks. 

It's being in the flow.
It's those small micro actions of commitment and intent. 
The embracing of impermanence and uncertainty. 
The surrender to the "Lack of Agenda".

The old saying.. 

You get what you give. 

Live a life of service that integrated into everything you do. No need to compartmentalize. No need to keep track. No need to assemble a hierarchy on who to help. 

Just. Presence. Compassionate action. 
Non-judgment. Aware. Intuitive. Accepting. Forgiving. No expectations. 

Give until you have nothing else to give. Then simply, be. 


Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Compassion for Candidates

Here we go.

I want to publicly say that this piece of writing is not in any way an endorsement for Donald Trump or any candidate. 

Most of what you are seeing on your illustrious feed is Anti-Trump. I can see that. I can see that a lot of you are visually and digitally upset with what is going on during this election cycle. 

It's all quite interesting that you are simply letting all this negative ad work to take over your consciousness and your life. In a way it makes me feel sad. In another way, it has opened a door to the effect media and politics have on us as a species. 

Most of you are fearful. You do not want to see a Trump in the White House. I completely understand. Most of you have been programmed from external factors including mainstream media and the internet. Swirling statistical anomalies and extremely biased new sources are filling up our minds and ultimately screwing with our emotions 


We call Trump and Hillary names. 
This is a defense mechanism. It is a reflection of our consciousness. It fuels our ego and makes us feel better than "them". It strikes our amygdalas and validates our own cognitive biases. We can only know so much and we can only hold so much information at a given time. Why do we choose to identify so much with the collective neurosis? 

Well, You and I are neurotic creatures.

We are comfortable and allow ourselves the luxury to create drama in our lives because we are insecure and possibly bored with our general situation. We quickly try to escape our insecurities by distracting ourselves with turmoil in the world. 

Doesn't drama in our life make it more exciting?! 

We are running primal software in our modern society and bodies. This unconscious drive to be so enthralled with politics comes from the deep desire for security. It is built into our biology. We are making our minds us based on fear, discomfort and worrisome nature of our survival. It is important to understand all these psychological and biological factors so we can become aware of our own consciousness and how it affects our decisions and perspectives. 

The politics are winning. They are doing a great job of dividing and conquering us. We can easily write someone off because they don't share the same political views. It empowers our illusory identity and sense of self and makes us think we know better than others. That is simply unconsciousness taking hold of us. How odd is it that we can just degrade someone's humanity and uniqueness just because their views don't align with ours. Does it help us grow as an individual?

Does it aid in dividing us more from our fellow man? 
Or does it aid in erasing that arbitrary and invisible line between us? 

It's almost reminiscent to a parasitic relationship. We want to hold on to what we think is right so bad that we are willing to become ugly, emotional and cold-hearted with certain individuals. We even go so far to paint with a collectivist brush. 

"Oh you support that candidate? 
You must be just like the others."

We are so distracted that we fail to see how each of us has a wide spectrum of humanity within us. Some of us may not be so bombastic, verbose or terse, but we can think back to times where we have acted out of character. We have the amazing potential to just be with what we are feeling without acting with aggression, emotion and unchecked pride. 

Why do let politicians have such a negative affect on our lives? 
It's all in your reaction. 
It's all in how you are listening to your own under workings.
It's all about acceptance.
Accepting what you are feeling and accepting what the politician is saying without having to agree of disagree with it. 

Are you just trying to validate your own bias? 

Are you only surrounding yourself with people that agree with you creating an echo chamber of ideological stagnation?

We can transform this irritated unconsciousness to a vulnerable and compassionate presence. We can listen more than trying to wait to respond. 

"But, how can I simply accept or feel compassion for a candidate I feel so much negative energy towards?" 

Why would you be asking "how"? 
What is the motivation for that?

Essentially you are asking how to achieve a state that you don't have now. That is not understanding. You're resisting too much. You can still feel ill will with the actions you find deplorable of another person. Especially a person you don't know personally. So, how will you? How about you ask why you are asking that question in the first place? Are you so closed off and attached to your personal identity that you can't let yourself be uncomfortable with the actions other people? 

Still want to be angry?
Cool, be angry.
Let that anger be your teacher.
Feel that anger and how it affects you.
Feel how you are depriving yourself from your own presence and potential.
Feel how destructive it is towards your health.
Use it. Don't identify with it. Let it pass through like a river.
It's temporary.
You're still here.

There is no systematic process for you to try to feel more compassionate with a person you don't agree with. 

Accept that you are not allowing yourself to see the humanity in another person. Feel that. Feel what it does to your body. 
Does it create more stress for you? 
Does it mess with your emotions and general well being? 

If so, that is great. You are being honest and vulnerable with yourself. Don't ask why just yet. Asking why to these passing emotions is the ego trying to trick you into a solution. It is intellectualizing your emotions and not allowing yourself to "feel" your emotions. 

If Donald Trump makes you angry, feel that anger. Don't use your imagination to try to degrade him. Don't try to act out. Let it be. Feel it out. Then ask, why.

You may not get an answer right away. You may not get an answer. If you are striving so hard to get an answer, you are missing the point. It will only make things worse. It will only allow you to repeat the same unconscious behavior that you have been doing for most of your life. 

You can breathe in and laugh. 
Laugh at the absurdity at it all. Laugh at the sublime theater that is "of the mind". Smile through the hypocrisy of the mind and the affect it has on all your choices and behaviors. 

Don't take it personally. 

The quick reaction to label, blame and judge is a reflection of YOUR own unconsciousness. A reflection of your lack of self awareness. Don't you even think about blaming that "lack of self awareness" to justify your own means or write yourself off. It's important to come back to the present and see where you are acting out of unconsciousness. The realization that you are not being self aware is the first step in being self aware.

Why feel compassion?

It's not about "trying" to be compassionate. That implies effort and resistance. Compassion is the by product of being present and the accepting of what is. It does not strive for an end result. There is no agenda. 

Compassion is for all human beings. Compassion is non-judgment. Compassion is the reflection we have for the compassion for ourselves. 
It begins with you. Simple enough. 
It begins with you stepping back and seeing the circus that is in front of you. 
It begins with acceptance and lessening the grip of your comfort zones. 

In this turbulent time, we tend to forget about the important people around. Our community. Our families. Our neighbors. Why invest so much negative energy towards someone that you do not agree with? Why invest so much effort in trying to defend your views and principles? Why not accept what you have and be grateful for it? 

Why do we Obey that arbitrary and ideological political line that only does good in feeding our biases or dividing us from the humanity of one another? 

You can be grateful for Trump.

You can be grateful that can allow you to look inward and see what you are. You can see how it is affecting your relationships, mood and general disposition. You can accept that he will keep behaving the same and that you cannot change that. No matter how hard you try. 

You can be grateful for the amazing opportunity to take responsibility for your own reaction. Be responsible for your own growth. Be responsible by acting consciously within your own home. Your own community. Most importantly, the under is a reflection of the outer. It starts with the quality of your consciousness.

It's not about trying to "change your mind" either. It is about accepting yourself unconditionally. Accepting others behaviors and general well being unconditionally. Accepting that part of you feels negativity with the "idea" of another person. You created that idea. Sure it was influenced by many external factors, but your mind has created the image of that "bad" person in your head. It is your choice to look at it. Not change it. 

Just look at it. 

Try not to separate yourself from it. That implies resistance. What you resist, persists. You can try to take it apart, but that too is a degree of separation of yourself. You can try to analyze the behavior on an intellectual and scientific level. What good will that do you? How does that serve you? How does that add value to your life? 

This isn't just about Trump. It includes all relevant presidential candidates. It includes the whole spectrum of people that support these candidates. It involves the whole scope of humanity. Most importantly, it involves you. 

How will you react?
How are you reacting ?
Why are you reacting that way? 
What value does it give to you? 
Does it facilitate in the growth of your own consciousness? 
Are you there? 
Are you here now? 
Are you grateful? 
You are living. 
Let it breathe. 
Let it go. 

Take it within and smile through the chaos. 


Friday, September 23, 2016

The blossoming flower of hypocrisy.

It's part of you. It's part of everyone. The pedals that stink, but are aesthetically gorgeous. The bulbous form in the middle that is so entrancing, yet equally dangerous. It's fundamental to human nature. 

It is the continuously budding flower of hypocrisy. As you sit there holding on to your stagnant and somewhat amoral ideologies, you fool yourself of your ugliness and authenticty. You and I are both ugly, but at the same time as beautiful as a super nova. It may be a hard truth to realize, but your innate duality and amorphous nature in between that dual spectrum is the key to self awareness. 

You can preach. You can be dogmatic. You can become so enthralled with a cause that you trick yourself into a false identity. A false sense of importance. You squander your dark as if it was a fly that needed suffocation under a mason jar. You hide your faults like a dog hides bones in a backyard.

What if you were to embrace the dark? What if you could embrace your imperfect self and laugh at your clingy identity? What if you could simply witness the false duality that you constrict your ego to. That false sense of self that leads you to discontent, shame, guilt, regret and fear. You see yourself as the middle of a sandwich. The top being your ideal sense of self that you would like to "eventually" be at. The bottom piece of bread is what you want to leave behind and learn from. Well both sides of the sandwich have equal potency in self education and awareness. 

Passing through time. You see your past self which is now merely a thought. You self is simply a product of time. You can be grateful for that past self. You can turn your back on it or bless it. Your reaction however, doesn't hold much clout to the reality of the situation. 

So your past self is a thought. 
Your future self is a thought.
What about who you think you are right now? In the present. 
Well, what you think of yourself in the present is just an image formulated from measurement to an "idea" of the past. Who are you? That question seems absurd when you can see that question can never have an absolute answer. You will only trick yourself into thinking you are different from the image of yourself in the past. You aren't judging or comparing the past self, you are analyzing an image your mind has made up from learned data. It simply doesn't exist. 

The ego thrives on comparison.
Yes, you can learn lessons. 
Yes, you can change habits. 
Yes, you can change past behaviors. 
Continuous flux of the image of self is a root cause of suffering. 

You give the illusion that you are a different person from your past self. You only make that decision from comparison. From measument. You constrain yourself to an identity. Writhing from moment to moment for the sake of security and comfort. Comfort becomes your teddy bear. You barely let yourself feel the suffering you so endure from the lack of self awareness.

 You tell yourself that you are a better person. It's arbitrary. 
The internal self talk is of the mind and the main leash that keeps you attached to your false sense of self. Instead of accepting yourself unconditionally through every blissful or suffering moment, you try so hard to cling to a moral and positive thinking blanket of escape and distraction. It's beautiful, but also quite putrid and absurd. 

When you can accept your putrid and absurd workings of the mind without identifying with it, you can break yourself from false ideological attachment and the misgivings of trying to "become a better person." The idea of becoming a better person is destructive because it thrives on the measurement to a false and dead concept your mind creates. You can only accept the things as they are and take action. The idea of becoming a better person is a torturous carrot to dangle over your false sense of self/ ego. 

Embracing your light and dark sides without compartmentalizing them onto a spectrum of good or bad is key in being aware. In fact, breaking the sides into a good or bad or light or dark is counterintuitive to growth. It's a false dichotomy. It is all part of the human condition. One part being an integral part of the other. 

Face it. 
Face your ideological misgivings and faults. 
Face your bias.
Face your hypocrisy. 
Accept your past actions and accept yourself as you are. 
You are.

Accept that your beliefs hold huge hypocrisys built into them. Let yourself see your own false duality and conflict. Hypocrisy arises from that conflict. No need to resist. 

It's there for you. 


What's the rush?

Did you see it?!
You missed it. You did a graceful dance trying to avoid that shopping cart. It almost hit you though. I get it you were on the phone. You were running late for that meeting or whatever. 

And then..
You had the audacity to leave your mocha latte on top of your car. You were on your phone. I get it. Mistakes happen. Luckily, you will make your meeting on time, but then you have a meeting right after that. 

One thing after another. 
Left, right, left. 
Day after day. 
Barely time for yourself.
Or is there?.....

So what's the rush?! 
You say you have no time. 
You say you are simply "too busy". 
They tell us that we must "make time" in order to make "room" for the things we "want" to do. Some of this is partially true. Most of it is just a stale platitude of ignorance. 

Why are we so rushed? 
Is it the demands of modern society? 
Is it the hustle and bustle of trying to earn a living whole balancing our lifestyle and commitments? 

Where's the time for us to breathe? 

We compartmentalize our different activities in life. 
Work, gym, commute time, sleep, home time, showering, couch time, outside time and so on and so on. 

We are fleshy automatons rushing from one "Do" to the next. Rightly so. We are satisfying the mind. Keeping it occupied. Keeping us in a storm of compulsive thought. Keeping us from sllloowwinngg doooowwwnnn. 

Keeping us occupied and suppressing the problems we are avoiding. We promise that we will get around to them. When we simply "have time". Well, where is that time? When is it going to come? Will that time come at the perfect time? 

It's probably better to do it later....or not. 
One A to B. We never appreciate or truly experience A because we have already mentally checked out of A and moved onto B. On to the next one. The next stimulation. The next seeking of comfort. The next task that will get us closer to the couch, the television, the internet..

We make ourselves dogs looking forward to the treat at the end of the day. 
We deserved it right? 
Now we can be lazy, check out, escape all the while just putting the trudgery of the day behind us. No reflection or lessons, only a tired mind in a tired body. 

We pride ourselves in multitasking. 
"I'm getting more done." Look at me go. I'm checking off tasks like a soldier. 

Some of the half assed things we do frustrate it. We only focus on trying to get them done. Understandable. We prioritize productivity over presence. We hit those reward centers in our brains as if we were rats in a lab study. 

What happens when we prioritize presence over productivity? 
What happens when we simply focus on one thing at a time? 
This whole idea of things being difficult and daunting comes from the inability to be present. When you are at ease with the moment, you can be totally with what you are doing and you can be at your own pace. No rushing. No focusing on simply finishing something. 

Trust in the process. 
Flow with it. Those problems that arise are designed for you to pay attention to. To experience. To learn from. 

Breathe and act with ease.
Accept that the task is giving you a challenge. Don't worry about what you will have for dinner. It's not that time yet. If you take a step a time, everything will flow with your presence and attention. 

Who cares what your friend said about you last night.

Who cares that you need to pay your electric bill tonight. 

Be with what is.

Hammer that nail at the pace you need to go. The pace that arises from being with what you are "doing". 

Breathe with the action. 


The rush is merely an illusion.