Thursday, December 29, 2016
You heard me. Go ahead and judge me. It's fine actually. I certainly won't judge you for judging me. That would make me quite hypocritical wouldn't it?
You actually have every "reason" to judge me and other people around you. Pick apart their lifestyle choices that don't match yours. Look down upon their behavior with scorn. You know so much more don't you?
We sometimes trap ourselves in our own heads. We ruminate and reward our own pigeon holed and limited perspective. There is nothing necessarily "wrong" with this. It's remarkably human to cater to your own biases and desires.
We don't want people to judge us. We want to run away from any sense of criticism like cockroaches to a kitchen light coming on. We know what we think and we like it. We know we could certainly be better and do better, but gosh darn it we think we are doing our best.
There are certain times where judgment might work to our advantage, but we tend to confuse judgment with discernment. We can discern from a moral position wrong from right. In any case, every has their own unique situation and there lies more importance in finding the "why" in someone's behavior than the so called wrong doing attached to behavior itself.
We are doing are best with what we know at each moment, aren't we?
Usually judgment stems from a place of misunderstanding, miscommunication and unconsciousness. If we want to break that tightening grip of judgment, we must approach each situation with patience, tenderness and compassion.
It's a tricky balance.
We can attempt intellectualize our emotions all we want. We can try to detach and reason with why we are feeling the way we are feeling.
It's equally as important to feel our emotions and witness our ego mindset of judgment.
What does judgment of yourself or others do to your body? How does affect your mood? How does it add to personal growth? How does it feel when someone judges you?
Take a minute to recognize the mind and body connection with the illusory monster of judgment.
Does it take over you?
Do you let judgment take the wheel?
What do You have control over? Judgment is a great teacher. It brings our insecurities into the light. Like shiny sharp objects. It can force us to look at the things that make us feel most perturbed and uncomfortable. So aren't we being judgmental when we think someone is being overtly judgmental? Think on it.
When someone nastily approaches you with unconscious judgments and criticisms, how do you react? How do you react within your body? Do you outwardly express your insecurities and emotions?
So since it is counter intuitive to try to control people's behaviors, you can really only be responsible for your reaction. That's stoicism 101 for you.
We can release our resentment for people that implement the judgy side eye ( JSE ) and come from a place of non-resistance. We can only see them for who they are at that moment. When our minds create a story of the individual(s) in question, that's where the ego likes to take control.
Assuming we know why someone is acting on is a bad failure. People will always judge. Let them have that freedom.
Judgment thrives on comparison. When you deduce your reasoning to such benign comparison, you are starting to sacrifice your sense of self and intelligence. Intelligence in its truest form does not thrive on comparison. Intelligence provides a clear point of view void of judgment.
Why let judgmental people take up so much of your head space?
Why let judgmental people steal so much of your joy?
Let them stew in their own unconsciousness. Let them be who they think they are. Let them be.
It is not a profitable business to try to control people's behaviors.