Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Hugging the Cactus
Hugging the Cactus
You feel it in your chest.
You feel it in your body.
That sharp sting. That discomfort that takes comfort in throwing your thought processes off track and throwing quick jabs at your gut.
How bloody inconvenient!
We try so hard to escape those self created problems and inconvenient feelings that we never allow ourselves to experience the totality of what has been so nicely displayed in front of us.
What if we were to do something radical and embrace those metaphorical and literal thorns that jab us in our life situation?
What if we were to simply "be with" and express gratitude for the pain that we have allowed to disturb our fleshy meat vessel?
It's there lingering. That social anxiety that picks at you in public. That sheer irritation of not knowing what to do.
There is no use in escaping. It comes back with bigger gloves. Tighter gloves to strangle you into discomfort.
The uncomfortable fleshy meat suit body that writhes in all directions.
Those toxic floating thoughts that float in the lukewarm hot tub of your head. Synapse misfires. Small spikes of anxiety.
As the therapist would ask, "how does it make you feel?"
Well, how does it?
How does it feel to be so uncomfortable? So riddled with anxiety and uncertainty.
Those prickly thorns that stick in your side and dig in your mind.
What if we were to embrace all that and simply accept it? Simply accept all past actions and small bursts of embarrassments and humiliations of the past. Simply accept your sheer discomfort in the moment.
Well you might say that it's not that simple and you're right. It seems hard, but like anything it takes patience and practice. It's being ok with not being ok. It's being fine with having an outburst or small flub of emotional distress. It's being content with not being content. It's about accepting how you really feel and actually "feeling" it.
Not bottling it up.
Not pushing it aside like an empty beer bottle. Not putting it back up in the closet.
Just like a cactus. It's prickly and quite unique. We know very well that you can't touch it. Those prickly spines are not inviting.
So all that anxiety, those worrisome thoughts, that sadness, depression, emptiness and loneliness are all part of the cactus. You can take a step back and look at it and know that fighting with or touching it will simply be unproductive.
We can accept that the cactus is there and can help us being more aware of our inner workings. We can appreciate them and decorate and arrange them upon the mantle of our cerebral cortex.
Let us not be afraid of these sensational succulents. Let us accept those prickly spines with open arms. Hug the cacti within you. Let us not be afraid. We can wrap our metaphorical arms to feel the full spectrum of pain, the gift of embracing our demons. Loving the parts we have hated and resisted for so long.
We can be lovingly aware of these colorful cacti. Appreciate them without touching them or embrace them knowing the consequences. Embrace them with the intention of feeling the power of their full sting. Sitting with it. Breathing with it.
Hugging the cactus means we can have the courage to be vulnerable and embrace all of our self perceived faults and weaknesses.
Hugging the cactus means we can not resist and be in awe of painful thoughts and feelings. We can feel out the totality and the awesome full spectrum of humanity.
Hugging the cactus means are ok with riding out the discomfort and fully accept the sting of our own self perceived and delusional sense of reality.
Hugging the cactus means loving the things we once saw as negative. It means accepting the suffering of others and seeing them as our teachers and less of our own outward projected enemies and demons.
The cactus is you.
Love that spiny yet beautiful living organism with all the attention and compassion that you can bare.
You are such a unique cactus.