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Thursday, October 27, 2016

The Abundance Train

Hop on in! 
Onto the Abundance Train! 
All are welcome. All are respected. 

The Abundance train will take you to new heights. New territories. New opportunities. Unexpected twists and turns. You might find the ride challenging, but at the same time rewarding. 

When you decide to drop those complaint filled baggages and embrace the beauty of impermanence and gratitude, you will see so much in front of you. So much that you have missed. So much that you use to struggle with. You are always here aren't you? 

Your mind is always screaming, " Anywhere, but here!" 
It wants you to focus on what you don't have. You focus on the illusory concept of "missing something". It blinds you from what you have. 

You are use to riding a different train. 
The train of thought. More specifically, the "compulsive train of thought." You are on the wrong tracks! Rickety tracks. The narrow train of thought. The narrow mindset. The one that steals your presence and makes you unconsciousness. That unconsciousness birthed out of fear. 

But you forget.
It's all around you. 

As you ride on that abundance train, you can see everything outside that window. The beautiful paintings of life that are there. There for you. There for you to witness and experience. There for you to grow. 

That immense love that radiates from you. 

If you allow it. 
If you accept it.

You can stop resisting.
You can start accepting. 
You can start being grateful for every experience. 
Good or bad.
Well, good or bad doesn't matter. It's a false duality. Your false sense of self places what is good or bad. Your mind puts them into little folders. They are there for you to learn. Some may be incredibly painful. 
Some may be incredibly blissful. 
They are tremendous teachers existing for the expansion of your consciousness. The expansion of your tenderness. 
The expansion of your acceptance. 

It's that conscious action to derail. 
Derail yourself from the unconsciousness compulsive thought systems that have ruled your life. Derail yourself from the clinging to certainty. Derail yourself from the constant feeling of discontent. 

Hopping onto the Abundance Train means the conscious action to accept. To accept how bitter you were.
To accept how uncomfortable you were.
To accept every passing mood. 

It is opening up your eyes to the vastness of support that you have surrounded yourself with. You didn't realize it before. Now you do. Now the veil is lifted.

So it may come down to two choices.
You have...

1. The Train of Compulsive thought.
2. The Train of Abundance and Acceptance.

You see those two tracks in front of you. Most likely the first one has guided most of your life choices. What happened has happened. When you become conscious of the first option, you derail from it. You can then consciously hop upon that train of abundance that is powered by gratitude and acceptance. The awareness that you were not full aware beforehand is a big door opener. 

Hop on board. 
The train can never pass you by. 
There is access in each awakening moment. 


MycoTangler 1

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Why can't you sit still ?

Why can't you sit still? 
Well, why can't you?
It's an interesting and important question. 
Have you asked yourself this before? 
It's ok if you haven't, but now is a better time than any to do it. 

Why do you always distract yourself? 
Maybe you don't mean it intentionally. Most likely it's unconscious. Your mind wants to be constantly busy and entertained. This we can understand. You don't want to be uncomfortable so you reach for what is in front of you.

A phone. 
A screen of some sort.
A book. 
A smoke. 
A drink.

Bad thoughts come flooding in. So your mind wants you to distract you from it. You want to avoid the discomfort of it all. You want to escape the strain and stress of discomfort. 

Then you develop a habitual pattern of dealing with these pebbles turned boulders. It becomes part of "how you deal with things." So you keep on keeping on with the same diversion tactics you have so unconsciously participate in. You run. You turn. You seek. You strive to just get to a place of solace and entertainment. 

You say you don't have time to meditate.
You say you don't have the time to really go deep with yourself.
You say you don't have the time to go to therapy. 
You really don't want to go out of your way to delve deep and understand your problems. What makes you tick. What makes you squirm. 

So you push it aside.
You resist and it persists. 

So you try sitting still.
What happens?
You fidget. You start getting anxious. You may get bored. You may look around the room to see what needs to be cleaned. That chair is mighty dusty isn't it? 
That one book is poking out a little more than the others.
You notice that the ceiling fan makes a weird squeaking noise that you didn't notice before. 

See what's going on?
Your mind is trying to constantly occupy itself. What happens if you try to stop this? What happens when you push back? 

The mind gets noisier. The voice gets louder. Then you start to become increasingly in comfortable in your own skin. You are what's happening with your body? Good. Feel it. Don't resist. See how the mind and body are intricately entangled together. See how your body reacts to the under turmoil of the mind. The inner turmoil of compulsive thought. 

Start at your feet. 
Bring attention to it. You can say outloud or in your head," I am feeling my feet." 
Work your way up. 
How do your legs feel? 
Your waist? Your heart? 
Your shoulders? Your neck?
Your esophagus? 

Focus on your breath. You are breathing.
No need to force. Let yourself breathe organically. Let your mind focus on the inhalation and exhalation. Simply relax. Don't try silly. Just relax. 

How are you feeling?
How is the rest of your body feeling? 
Is your mind relaxed? 
Is your body relaxed? 
Refrain from trying to make yourself relax.
That's like fitting a square in a circular hole. It's not about achieving a certain state. It's about accepting unconditionally the state in every moment. You may feel a sharp pain your chest. Feel it. Don't try to "fix" it. Feel it. You will see that it is transient. It will pass. You've resisted in the past for long enough. Let your acceptance work through the wound up neurosis. 

" I am sitting still." 
Just vibe with that. You won't be sitting still forever. 

Here comes the thoughts...
You remember you forgot to pick up toilet paper and eggs.
You remember that you forgot to call your  friend back. 
You remember that you have a deadline coming up. 

The thought flood.
Are you pushing back? 
No? Good.
You're listening. See them as balloons. You hold into them and they float just above you. What happens when you let go of them? They go up into the sky. You can see them float away at their own accord. Smaller and smaller and then they're gone. Oh look, you are holding some more! Do you need to? That's what I thought. 

What a success it is to sit still. 
To sit with what is. 
To sit with uncertainty. 
To be with your body and the space around you.
To be with your mind. 
To be with discomfort. 
To be with your thoughts. 

To Be. 


You are completely and utterly insecure!


You are so insecure!
That's not an insult. That's not an attack on your identity. Well it kinda is, but we will get more into that in a bit.

The good thing is that all of us are insecure. We can all share that commonality and flourish in the magnanimous potency of our own humanity. 

Insecurities are good. 
Why are they good you ask? 
Well, insecurities are signifiers for the work we need to do on ourselves. They are the unresolved manifesting through certain feelings, actions and behaviors. It is the hidden mosquito bugging you for your undivided and conscious attention. 

If someone insults you or attacks your presumed identity, how do you handle it?
This is an important question. How do you react? 

Keyword: Reaction. In a situation where you can't control all the outcomes, how do you react to what you don't agree with or find someway repulsive or off putting? 

Do you get defensive? That's understandable. When people are criticized and judged, they see it as a threat of survival. This is a primal reaction built in us that has manifested through certain unconscious behaviors in our lives. We put up walls to protect ourselves, to preserve our ego and to ensure that we appear as responsible and "intact" individuals. 

What happens between that space of stimulus and reaction? Are you conscious of it? Are you conscious of how your body feels before you react to something? Are you conscious of your own self projected and protected bias? 

The person acting out against you is a reflection of your own insecurities. A swabby culmination of unresolved internal conflicts that are set off from repressing and not being aware of your own inner workings of self knowledge. You have the choice to change things around. The choice to embrace your own vulnerabilities. The choice to accept and embrace the vulnerabilities of another person without so quickly trying to resolve unconscious conflict. Patience is a virtue, remember? 

So are you feeling insecure or uncomfortable?
Are you feeling angry or irritable?

Each of these passing moods are access points for growth and expanding your own self knowledge. We all hate to be angry. We all hate to be anxious. We all hate to be uncomfortable. This is all very understandable. With that in mind, how can we use these feelings and inconvenient happiness interceptors to our advantage? 

It's about sitting with the discomfort and discontent and not retreating away from it. This is a fundamental Buddhist concept. Non-resistance. Simple acceptance of each passing emotion. 

As humans, we have such a huge access to a vast spectrum of emotions. Think of them as colorful gurus, think of them as balloons that make an appearance in your skyview. We may see some emotions as good and some as bad. This is patently irrelevant. All can teach us more about ourselves and why we feel what we feel. Magnificent growth starts when you start to embrace that vast and infinite spectrum of human emotion and insecurity. 

Here's a little experiment. 

Let's say you get emotional and may take offense with what someone has said. You get angry. Seething anger that has the potential to affect your judgment. 

What do you do? 
Do you bottle it up? 
Do you take it out on the person involved? 

What if you were to take that little step back? This step back is also step forward. It's not that confusing. You step back in order to be more of a witness to what is happening within you. You can consciously take responsibility for your own reactions and emotions. 

So you step back..
Say this.
"I am angry." 
It can be out loud or in your head. Heck, you can even write it down!
How do you feel when you say that? 
What you are doing is essentially becoming conscious of your own emotions. But wait folks that's not all! Let's take it a step further. 

Saying that you are angry is still an identifier with your illusory sense of self. 

Do you understand? 

You essentially aren't anger, but your self takes the form of the "concept of anger" in order to validate it's own existence within your psyche. You are essentially feeling anger. That is the observational and non-biased perspective with that "step back" you are taking.

So you can say, " I am feeling anger."
How does that make you feel? 
Does that make you feel any "better"? 
If it does, that is ok, but this whole exercise isn't about trying to feel better. It is about opening yourself to your own insecurities and letting them reveal the delicious nuggets that are inside. It's not about a quick fix solution or a proverbial destination. It is about accepting and feeling each truly uncomfortable and comforting feeling that comes inside the house of your head. 

You were angry. 
You told yourself you were angry. 
You told yourself you were "feeling" anger. 

By saying you were feeling anger, you were distancing yourself from that feeling because you were trying to intellectualize your emotions. This is a dangerous thing to do. You become the witness, but you may also detach yourself from the possibility of human growth. 

You can simply accept and feel the emotion without trying to label it, categorize it or try to "fix" it. Feeling anger doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. Feeling anger is an access point to self compassion and self knowledge. Simple stating your emotions will help your become more conscious, but it is not a long term or a quick fix plan for personal development. Embrace without unconscious action. 

The fact of the matter is, you are not the emotions. Your template existence is presence. The presence that allows for the acceptance of what is. That allows for the embracing of impermanence and uncertainty. That allows for true vulnerability. 

When you truly feel a passing emotion, you are saying yes to the present. You are saying yes to what is. You are embracing the gift of humanity without trying to act it out with violence. You are accepting and breathing through the process. You are being with it and not resisting. As I have said before and I will say again, what you resists persists! 

Accept that you are insecure. 

That you are neurotic. 

That you can be irrational. 

That you can be irritable. 

That you can be unconscious. 

Most importantly, all of this is quite beautiful and inspiring. 

Abandon the false thought of becoming a "better" person. That label has no meaning. The goodness will flow as a by product of your presence and your willingness to accept what is and the courage to learn from what was. 

So it's not actually you that is insecure, but something inside of you is acting through you. Using you as a host body to express itself. It's there to guide you. To humble you. To bring you back into the presence instead of retreating to that swiffered comfy pillow place you always retreat to. Smile through that pain if you so dare! The amazing and miraculous human experience awaits you! 


Thursday, October 20, 2016

I accept you

I accept you.

I accept you as you are.
I accept your inability to listen at times because you are distracted.
I accept your facial compulsions that you seem to have no control over.
I accept your love of donuts and your willingness to eat them even late at night.
I accept your bias.
I accept your struggle to work out on days you just don't want to.
I accept your feelings of impatience whilst in a traffic jam.
I accept your playfulness in times of distress.
I accept your short temper in times of stress.
I accept your lack of self control when it comes to sandwiches.
I accept your complacency.
I accept your anger when no one seems to be listening.
I accept your procrastinating behaviour.
I accept you in times of emotional distress.
I accept that you have a cheesy sense of humor.
I accept that you have a tacky sense of fashion ( but it seems to work for you.)
I accept your vices that you can't seem to quit.
I accept your inability to just slow down and breathe.
I accept your habits of escaping your problems through the act of binge watching.
I accept your inability to keep a consistent schedule.
I accept your diverse taste in music.
I accept your ability to laugh in uncomfortable situations.
I accept your unawareness to read people's social cues.
I accept your impulse to speed in residential zones.
I accept your lack of control when it comes to petting strangers' dogs.
I accept your complaining in times where it warrants gratitude.
I accept your unwillingness to make your bed.
I accept your willingness to go without using shampoo for more than a week.
I accept that you don't know all the lyrics to that one song.
I accept that you may be terrible at karaoke, but at least it is entertaining.
I accept that you have a tendency to hog the queso.
I accept that you take your time when ordering food at a restaurant.
I accept that sometimes you don't know what's going on. ( Neither do I )
I accept that you are awkward with meeting new people.
I accept that you missed that one spot on your chin when shaving.
I accept that sometimes you don't do your research.
I accept that you may not be as tolerant as you think you are.
I accept that you forgot to put on deodorant today. 
I accept your sadness.
I accept your emptiness.
I accept your the asymmetrical nature of your face.
I accept that your left arm may be shorter than your right arm.
I accept that ratatouille you made as "ok".
I accept that I disagree with your politics.
I accept that you may post too much on social media.
I accept your feelings of discontent.
I accept that you may have IBS.
I accept that you may drink a little too much.
I accept your love of coffee and Americanos.
I accept that you feed your cat too much.

I accept you.

The importance of Service

-Helping an old lady cross the street.
- Helping a friend move.
- Cooking for family and friends.

The list is endless. There are so many creative ways for people to do service every day. To serve your fellow man while humbling your own soul. Service is certainly not about attaining something, but involves presence and the surrender to a will of humanity and compassion. 

Do we do enough service? 
Do we see service as a check list for us to make us feel better about ourselves?
Do we cleverly compartmentalize kind tasks in between our ever so busy schedule? 

From an evolutionary and economic perspective, humans respond to incentives. The term reciprocal altruism comes to mind. We do kind and nice things with the underlying intention that we are going to have the same thing done to us in the future. We may subscribe to the belief of karma in order to hit our reward centers in our brain. The illusory golden rule of doing onto others becomes ingrained into our collective unconscious. 

We set these expectations, but expectations seem to be the root of all heartache. It should be no surprise that we get a boost of dopamine in our reward centers when we help someone in need. It's a natural medication. It feels great. It distracts us from our own problems for a little bit. We longer become the center of attention and we merge into an almost effortless sense of cooperation and communion with others. 

We tend to forget how service can do so much good for our internal atmosphere. We gravitate towards more instant gratification escape mechanisms that soothe us in the moment. We might go towards that beer instead of calling up a friend and asking how we can help. We might lazily plop ourselves on a couch and watch a fantastical tv show that distracts us from our own drama. It's a reflection of unconsciousness and inability to gravitate from habitually patterned comfort zones. 

When we stop from trying to manufacture an experience of service just to do "service", we can surrender to a new sense of discovery. We can abandon our "trying to be a good and fulfilled person" tasks for a life of spontaneity and compassion. It begins with the melding of what is and not what will be better for you or someone else in the long run.

 When you are fully present, opportunities will flow to you like a stream and offer you the space to take conscious action. From conscious action, springs the core of humanitarian compassion and love. You act with kindness without effort. You spring to help out a fellow man without the thought of what you will "get out of it". You delight in the freedom to lift someone's spirits just by being there. Being there to listen. Being there to comfort and accept one another. Being there to understand the vast spectrum of humanity. 

Even the smallest actions of service add up to make big impacts. The power to elevate someone's mood and disposition is a big one. They may not ask for help. Most of the time they won't. It is about being in tune with the ecosystem around you and within you . That ability to make someone laugh might trigger a domino effect for the rest of their day. Their heavy thoughts might get lifted and they can free themselves to do what they are passionate about. The micro actions play a huge part in changing the perceptions of others and yourself. They play a huge part in influencing the collective social consciousness. 

Knowing what someone wants before they ask for it is key. 
Knowing what someone may want even if they don't know it involves an heightened sense of awareness. 

It's not about amassing a giant list of service tasks. 

It's being in the flow.
It's those small micro actions of commitment and intent. 
The embracing of impermanence and uncertainty. 
The surrender to the "Lack of Agenda".

The old saying.. 

You get what you give. 

Live a life of service that integrated into everything you do. No need to compartmentalize. No need to keep track. No need to assemble a hierarchy on who to help. 

Just. Presence. Compassionate action. 
Non-judgment. Aware. Intuitive. Accepting. Forgiving. No expectations. 

Give until you have nothing else to give. Then simply, be. 


Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Compassion for Candidates

Here we go.

I want to publicly say that this piece of writing is not in any way an endorsement for Donald Trump or any candidate. 

Most of what you are seeing on your illustrious feed is Anti-Trump. I can see that. I can see that a lot of you are visually and digitally upset with what is going on during this election cycle. 

It's all quite interesting that you are simply letting all this negative ad work to take over your consciousness and your life. In a way it makes me feel sad. In another way, it has opened a door to the effect media and politics have on us as a species. 

Most of you are fearful. You do not want to see a Trump in the White House. I completely understand. Most of you have been programmed from external factors including mainstream media and the internet. Swirling statistical anomalies and extremely biased new sources are filling up our minds and ultimately screwing with our emotions 


We call Trump and Hillary names. 
This is a defense mechanism. It is a reflection of our consciousness. It fuels our ego and makes us feel better than "them". It strikes our amygdalas and validates our own cognitive biases. We can only know so much and we can only hold so much information at a given time. Why do we choose to identify so much with the collective neurosis? 

Well, You and I are neurotic creatures.

We are comfortable and allow ourselves the luxury to create drama in our lives because we are insecure and possibly bored with our general situation. We quickly try to escape our insecurities by distracting ourselves with turmoil in the world. 

Doesn't drama in our life make it more exciting?! 

We are running primal software in our modern society and bodies. This unconscious drive to be so enthralled with politics comes from the deep desire for security. It is built into our biology. We are making our minds us based on fear, discomfort and worrisome nature of our survival. It is important to understand all these psychological and biological factors so we can become aware of our own consciousness and how it affects our decisions and perspectives. 

The politics are winning. They are doing a great job of dividing and conquering us. We can easily write someone off because they don't share the same political views. It empowers our illusory identity and sense of self and makes us think we know better than others. That is simply unconsciousness taking hold of us. How odd is it that we can just degrade someone's humanity and uniqueness just because their views don't align with ours. Does it help us grow as an individual?

Does it aid in dividing us more from our fellow man? 
Or does it aid in erasing that arbitrary and invisible line between us? 

It's almost reminiscent to a parasitic relationship. We want to hold on to what we think is right so bad that we are willing to become ugly, emotional and cold-hearted with certain individuals. We even go so far to paint with a collectivist brush. 

"Oh you support that candidate? 
You must be just like the others."

We are so distracted that we fail to see how each of us has a wide spectrum of humanity within us. Some of us may not be so bombastic, verbose or terse, but we can think back to times where we have acted out of character. We have the amazing potential to just be with what we are feeling without acting with aggression, emotion and unchecked pride. 

Why do let politicians have such a negative affect on our lives? 
It's all in your reaction. 
It's all in how you are listening to your own under workings.
It's all about acceptance.
Accepting what you are feeling and accepting what the politician is saying without having to agree of disagree with it. 

Are you just trying to validate your own bias? 

Are you only surrounding yourself with people that agree with you creating an echo chamber of ideological stagnation?

We can transform this irritated unconsciousness to a vulnerable and compassionate presence. We can listen more than trying to wait to respond. 

"But, how can I simply accept or feel compassion for a candidate I feel so much negative energy towards?" 

Why would you be asking "how"? 
What is the motivation for that?

Essentially you are asking how to achieve a state that you don't have now. That is not understanding. You're resisting too much. You can still feel ill will with the actions you find deplorable of another person. Especially a person you don't know personally. So, how will you? How about you ask why you are asking that question in the first place? Are you so closed off and attached to your personal identity that you can't let yourself be uncomfortable with the actions other people? 

Still want to be angry?
Cool, be angry.
Let that anger be your teacher.
Feel that anger and how it affects you.
Feel how you are depriving yourself from your own presence and potential.
Feel how destructive it is towards your health.
Use it. Don't identify with it. Let it pass through like a river.
It's temporary.
You're still here.

There is no systematic process for you to try to feel more compassionate with a person you don't agree with. 

Accept that you are not allowing yourself to see the humanity in another person. Feel that. Feel what it does to your body. 
Does it create more stress for you? 
Does it mess with your emotions and general well being? 

If so, that is great. You are being honest and vulnerable with yourself. Don't ask why just yet. Asking why to these passing emotions is the ego trying to trick you into a solution. It is intellectualizing your emotions and not allowing yourself to "feel" your emotions. 

If Donald Trump makes you angry, feel that anger. Don't use your imagination to try to degrade him. Don't try to act out. Let it be. Feel it out. Then ask, why.

You may not get an answer right away. You may not get an answer. If you are striving so hard to get an answer, you are missing the point. It will only make things worse. It will only allow you to repeat the same unconscious behavior that you have been doing for most of your life. 

You can breathe in and laugh. 
Laugh at the absurdity at it all. Laugh at the sublime theater that is "of the mind". Smile through the hypocrisy of the mind and the affect it has on all your choices and behaviors. 

Don't take it personally. 

The quick reaction to label, blame and judge is a reflection of YOUR own unconsciousness. A reflection of your lack of self awareness. Don't you even think about blaming that "lack of self awareness" to justify your own means or write yourself off. It's important to come back to the present and see where you are acting out of unconsciousness. The realization that you are not being self aware is the first step in being self aware.

Why feel compassion?

It's not about "trying" to be compassionate. That implies effort and resistance. Compassion is the by product of being present and the accepting of what is. It does not strive for an end result. There is no agenda. 

Compassion is for all human beings. Compassion is non-judgment. Compassion is the reflection we have for the compassion for ourselves. 
It begins with you. Simple enough. 
It begins with you stepping back and seeing the circus that is in front of you. 
It begins with acceptance and lessening the grip of your comfort zones. 

In this turbulent time, we tend to forget about the important people around. Our community. Our families. Our neighbors. Why invest so much negative energy towards someone that you do not agree with? Why invest so much effort in trying to defend your views and principles? Why not accept what you have and be grateful for it? 

Why do we Obey that arbitrary and ideological political line that only does good in feeding our biases or dividing us from the humanity of one another? 

You can be grateful for Trump.

You can be grateful that can allow you to look inward and see what you are. You can see how it is affecting your relationships, mood and general disposition. You can accept that he will keep behaving the same and that you cannot change that. No matter how hard you try. 

You can be grateful for the amazing opportunity to take responsibility for your own reaction. Be responsible for your own growth. Be responsible by acting consciously within your own home. Your own community. Most importantly, the under is a reflection of the outer. It starts with the quality of your consciousness.

It's not about trying to "change your mind" either. It is about accepting yourself unconditionally. Accepting others behaviors and general well being unconditionally. Accepting that part of you feels negativity with the "idea" of another person. You created that idea. Sure it was influenced by many external factors, but your mind has created the image of that "bad" person in your head. It is your choice to look at it. Not change it. 

Just look at it. 

Try not to separate yourself from it. That implies resistance. What you resist, persists. You can try to take it apart, but that too is a degree of separation of yourself. You can try to analyze the behavior on an intellectual and scientific level. What good will that do you? How does that serve you? How does that add value to your life? 

This isn't just about Trump. It includes all relevant presidential candidates. It includes the whole spectrum of people that support these candidates. It involves the whole scope of humanity. Most importantly, it involves you. 

How will you react?
How are you reacting ?
Why are you reacting that way? 
What value does it give to you? 
Does it facilitate in the growth of your own consciousness? 
Are you there? 
Are you here now? 
Are you grateful? 
You are living. 
Let it breathe. 
Let it go. 

Take it within and smile through the chaos.