Are you happy?
Now did you answer no?
Why? I mean you certainly don't have to be jovial. You don't have to try to be happy to please others. That would be counter productive. Maybe you just tell yourself that you're not that type of person. You box your self into a personality mindset what you claim you have no control over. You were born that way you tell yourself. "That's just the way I am."
You might subscribe to the Meyers Briggs personality scale to accurately try to depict who we are. You're an introvert. You're and extrovert. You're not good with socializing. You claim to have some type of social anxiety. So we leave it at that to make ourselves feel more content and comfortable with who we think we are. The image in our brain that has been swirling around to try to validate our own illusory sense of self.
Do you see personality and general disposition as something that simply "happens" to you?
Something you have no control over?
So you have social anxiety?
What do you do? Is it a label that you simply cling on to to avoid discomfort? Is it a part of your ego that wants to continually preserve itself to avoid conflict? Do you duck behind that wall of comfort to avoid from breaking from your ill perceived comfort zone?
" That's just who I am."
Not necessarily. Maybe not all.
You immediately box yourself in. You limit yourself. You don't allow yourself to explore the murky waters of uncertainty. You perpetuate that fixed mind set.
I have always has social anxiety, so therefore I will always make that part of my identity.
It's the false identifer.
The mind that creates the sense of self based upon the product of time and experience.
The voice in your head trying to perpetuate the neurosis of compulsive thought. The thoughts in your head that try to trick you into thinking that you are "of the mind". That you identify with the hollow hungry desire that can never be fulfilled. That your identity exists wholly with the slightly coercive thoughts that exist in your head.
So you choose to remain socially anxious.
You choose to remain in the same consciousness that bases itself in compulsive thought. In the constant reach for instant gratification and escape. The constant impulsivity to escape the present moment. The resistance to what is.
You can think of these self identifiers as physical adornments.
A hat. A necklace. Some dirty socks. A mask. A pair of boxers.
What you wear doesn't define who you are. What you wear defines on your self perceived identify.
You may like to wear red. It excites you. It makes your feel good. It makes you feel confident. It may make you feel more confident than wearing blue. So interesting to see how beautifully unique our minds are. How beautifully diverse our preferences and perceptions can be.
It may make you feel more confident. It may be "fake" confidence, but fake confidence is the same as confidence in theory. Any time you want to be "more confident", you are simply just manufacturing in your head what "more confident" can be. So in essence trying to fake confidence is the same as tring to be more confident. It comes from the same place. It is a mask. A charger pack for your illusory sense of self.
You can tell yourself to be happy.
You can tell yourself to be more confident.
You can tell yourself to cheer up.
You can motivate yourself by simply telling yourself that you need to motivate yourself .
So you can wear a smile physically and withing your mind. You can tell yourself to "think positively" and manufacture that type of thinking into your self perceived existence.
The inner is a reflection of the outer.
With that in mind, you can wear whatever you want in your head.
You can wear that "less self conscious" hat.
You can wear that " I got this" confident mustache.
You can wear those " I'd rather not talk to anyone and read a book in a coffee shop" boxer briefs.
You can wear those " I think I'll give a random compliment to a stranger" socks.
So what do you choose to wear?
Where's the passion?
Where's the vigor?
Where's the spontaneity?
Where's the willingness to be vulnerable?
Where's the willingness to be uncomfortable?
Where's the enthusiasm?!
Wear the enthusiasm!