Search This Blog

Sunday, September 20, 2015


Where do you want to eat? 

" I don't know. Doesn't matter really?" 

Hmm, alright...

There you are. In a social situation with friends or spending time with your significant other, when a wave of indecision sweeps across the landscape. A certain passivity weaves its way through the question and answer forms of human interaction. Most people tend to rely on another friend or a person to make decisions to free them from totally engaging or even putting in effort in thinking and conspiring. They free themselves of responsibility and increase the bubble of apathy and indecisiveness.

Sometimes we lack the ability to give a spitfire reaction to a question. We get thrown a curveball and draw a blank in our minds. Instead of breathing and looking inward, we speak before we think and spout out conditioned indecisive words. We fall into habits learned by past passive and indecisive social interactions. Maybe there were times where you initiated an idea or and answer to a question and it was shot down. Maybe this was done multiple times to where you became frustrated with even initiating in the first place. We unconsciously and subconsciously condition our minds based upon our past experiences and actions. 

It all boils down to self ownership, confidence, assertiveness and initiative. It also takes a great deal of practice to rewire your conditioned reactions to become an enthusiastic initiator. When you start to focus on initiation and assertiveness, you start to listen to the inner creative voice that will guide you in making better decisions for yourself and others. You becomes the actor and less of the reactor. This does not mean that you are unwilling to compromise. Being assertive means you have the attentiveness, self knowledge and willingness to listen and be creative. 

It may be weird and uncomfortable at first to start to initiate new things in your life. A good exercise is to look at a menu when you go out to eat and immediately pick out the plate that you feel the best about.  It boils down to accepting and trusting your gut instinct. You can feel it with your whole body and you react enthusiastically to it. You make a choice in accepting the choice and the foreseen or unforeseen consequences of the decision at hand. If you do not feel the surge of energy or feel a slight discomfort, then you might be falling back to old habits.

Breaking your comfort zones and having an open mind to experiment is an excellent way to grow and learn about yourself and your initiative. The initiator projects a beam of confidence, passion and cooperation. The initiator trusts his self knowledge and accepts responsibility for his actions. The interactions with the initiator have the potential to inspire others to show more initiative. 

Initiative doesn't always imply that you want to lead. Initiation and assertiveness are a catalyst for getting direct answers and opening up creative and healthy discussions. When you are present and attentive to the social situation at hand, you are allowing more presence and attentiveness to flourish. When presence and attentiveness are high, the potential for clear, direct and peaceful conversation becomes readily apparent. 
The awareness of ones owns biases, learned habits and communication styles helps facilitate the more effective tools for decision making. 

Keep these 3 factors in mind. 

1. Presence
2. Confidence ( Courage ) 
3. Self Ownership 

There are so many possibilities in opening doors when you challenge the habits you have learned and conditioned yourself to. When you allow yourself to surrender to the present moment, you let your intuition be your guide in making decisions. These decisions can allow for spontaneous, new and creative possibilities that will benefit the growth of each individual involved. Approaching a question with enthusiasm will allow you to be excited in making great decisions. 

When you think too hard, you cloud your intuition. 


No comments:

Post a Comment