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Saturday, March 26, 2016

Sorry, but you say sorry too much

You ever catch yourself saying sorry to small flubs or mistakes you make that involve other people? 

Sometimes you might deliver some misinformation or have a misunderstanding with someone's point of conversation. Your reaction to your mistakes may be followed with a quick apology without thinking about it. It almost becomes automatic because you use apologies as a way to escape the insecurity of the moment. It becomes an unconscious/ involuntary knee jerk reaction that may not hold much value. 

Surely there are times that apologies are necessary. We may have hurt someone in the heat of the moment or acted under some unconscious and unchecked state of mind. Real apologies allow us to acknowledge our reactions and actions and allow us to take responsibility and grow. 

When we use sorry too much, it becomes an unconscious habit that prohibits us from encountering our insecurity. We use it as a defense mechanism. We use it as a way to comfort ourselves and the other person. We cannot control the reactions of other people especially when our actions are not intentionally manipulative or malicious. When we use "sorry" too many times for too many small fumbles, we water down the necessary sorries in our lifetime. 

It is important to really catch ourselves on our "automatic sorries" so we can grow from it and really become more aware of our surroundings. When we bring presence to our situations, we can truly see how we act when we aren't "looking". 

Apologizing can allow us to let go and to move on and connect with the present and our innate human nature. It is an amazing tool, but unchecked can make is into groveling unconscious automotons motivated through guilt and shame. Accept those small flubs. Accept those small mistakes and bad jokes. If someone gets hurt by something you did unintentionally. Show compassion. Investigate. Ask them how you can improve in future interactions. 

Turn that little sorry into a big lesson.


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