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Friday, June 5, 2015

Things won't get better

Things won't get better...
Get well soon! 


    We see the classic Halmark card category called "Get Well Soon" scattered between the birthday and anniversary cards in grocery stores and craft stores alike. It can be applied to a magnitude of different unfortunate events such as an illness, loss of a loved one, or a break up. Granted it is a nice gesture to buy a "Get Well Soon" card for a person in need, but it doesn't really do anything positive. Saying get well soon has almost the same effect as "That was really great Barbecue! "

     Saying get well soon shows that you are being acting sympathetic to the person in need. Some people will feel empathy and see the card as a gateway to understanding the pain of the other individual. Sympathy however, is somewhat illusory and fake. Some people see sympathy has trying understand the pain of another person without actually knowing what it feels like or what the symptoms are of a certain situation. Sympathy almost runs parallel with pity. It is a mask we put on ourselves to fake the relation between a person(s) and appropriately react to certain human relations taught to us by society. Sympathy creates a false dichotomy that allows you to detach from the actual pain of another person and create a level for that person that is less than you.

Empathy implies that you are able to relate with the pain and suffering of the other person based on past similar experiences. Some of us cannot truly hold empathy for people that go through disheartening situations that we aren't familiar with. We can only try to understand and be compassionate. When we do not automatically reach for sympathy in our emotional lexicon, we are allowing ourselves to accept the reality of the understanding and approach our actions with compassionate and what needs to be done. We can offer people guidance and compassion when we see suffering in another individual through being fully present for that person without trying to have an agenda of guiding that individual. Listening is one of the biggest acts of love that each human is completely capable of in each fleeting moment.

" Things will get better! "

Does it really matter? We can only predict so much and guide ourselves towards the path of least costs. Saying things will get better gives a false sense of hope. It holds the same meaning as saying that things won't get better. Both statements allow the person to put on the mask of sympathy and separate themselves from truly allowing themselves to feel the authenticity of the moment as it arises. Of course, when we say " Get well soon", we are trying to be positive and hopeful, but underneath the veil we are escaping the present moment and manufacturing a false sense of hope. This is why it is so important to be vulnerable and listen to harmonize and be in communion with each other. When you stop trying to find a solution for the suffering involved, you allow yourself to resonate with the suffering and be fully present with each other. Omitting a Get Well Soon sympathy will allow every person to grow and not try feel what they think they should feel and/or act under a sense of moral obligation pressured upon you by society. Anxiety and fear are both the product of not living in the present moment.

Whether things deteriorate or actually "get better", we can understand that there is only so much we can do to affect the outcomes and consequences. We can allow ourselves to free our minds from contemplating on what will happen in the future or dwell on the wrongdoings of the past. For each moment we are present is a success and the best use of our time. It does not matter if things will get better or not when you truly accept what you are feeling right now and understand suffering and how to be with it.


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