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Tuesday, June 2, 2015

You Don't Deserve to be Happy

You Don't Deserve to be Happy

" You deserve to be Happy!"
"Thank you!  That's what I thought!"

Although this positive statement can be empowering, it is more or less an empty statement. It is very important to understand the nature of happiness and a sense of entitlement. By saying you deserve to be happy, you are boxing happiness into a state of mind, lifestyle, mood and object. You put happiness as a reward spectrum for who you think that you are. It is more or less a crisis in identity.

"I'm a good person so I deserve to be happy."
"I am a good spouse so I deserve to be happy".

You deserve to be happy as much as you deserve to be angry.

You create a false dichotomy of work and reward. I am this so I must have this. I have gained this so I "deserve" this. You are escaping the present moment when you say that you must be a certain thing or fit into a certain construct of being. Saying that you deserve anything is a form of resistance.

If you are sad, you can try to escape that sadness by demanding that you deserve to be happy. You are not stopping to breathe and attempting to understand why you are feeling such sadness. If you look at the sadness and breathe through it then you are allowing the present moment to be as it is. Being aware of the present moment will lead to "happiness" and joy. When you think you deserve to be happy, you are placing happiness at an ending place. Happiness becomes a means to an end. Happiness becomes a dead end. Happiness becomes a teddy bear you will eventually get bored of.

"So you're happy, now what?"

But, what about my right to be happy?

"Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" is a well-known phrase in the United States Declaration of Independence.[1] The phrase gives three examples of the "inalienable rights" which the Declaration says has been given to all human beings by their Creator, and for which governments are created to protect. - From Wikipedia

Let's break some of this down.
I am more interested in the ''pursuit of Happiness" part so I can stay more in course. I may possibly break down this entire phrase in another piece of writing.

The pursuit of Happiness ( with a capital H mind you! ) is somewhat of an illusory concept. It is broad and open to different perspectives. First of all, you are placing Happiness as a destination or a goal that will manifest itself through the outer world. Even when you pursue happiness inwardly, you are chasing a carrot that you will never carrot. If you arrive at a place in your life and say, " Wow, I am finally happy right now", you are being fooled. Happiness exists in every moment and is not a destination or a "reward" inside your mind or in the real world. You have the freedom to become aware of the present moment and thus make a choice on whether to be happy or not. Happiness arises in the most spontaneous moments of awareness. On these grounds, thinking of happiness as a "right" is illegitimate when happiness is created and labelled by one's own conscious ability. Happiness becomes a concept solely determinate on self ownership. No outside circumstances are necessary responsible for your lack of happiness especially when pursuing the illusion of happiness itself.

If someone tells you that you deserve to be happy then you can fully understand that happiness is not dependent on a certain set of actions or constructs. With the power or awareness and meditation, one can realize the joy of knowing that happiness is a label and a distraction. If you choose to be happy, then BE happy, but realize that trying to tell someone to be happy is a lost cause.

What a glorious time we live in where we can wilfully choose how we feel and react in each moment. Consciousness is a wonderful blessing and a useful tool. Oh what joy we can have when we realize that happiness does not exist, but is simply a made up concept we can all subscribe to or laugh at.

You don't deserve to be happy.
You don't have a right to be happy.
Just be..
or don't!

1 comment:

  1. Happiness is an experience, not a destination. I agree.