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Wednesday, June 29, 2016

The stagnation of Happiness

Your day is going great. In fact, you have a had a string of great days. You feel happy, content and mostly worry free. You feel like you can take on the world. 


Something bad happens. Out of the blue. You can't believe it. You tell yourself that " this always happens". "Why can't I be happy all the time?" "Why can't things work out for me?" That's not you saying that. That's your ego. The mask that makes you "think" happiness and contentment is based upon external factors. It has ruled your life and you really haven't known it. 

Until now. 

We are all expected to be "happy". People ask us: Are you happy? 
Many times we lie because we don't want to bring down a room or a person'a cheer disposition. We trade honesty for lies because we don't want any trouble. 
Realistically, we don't want to be uncomfortable and certainly don't want that uncomfortablity to affect how people see us in the long run. When we ask how someone is doing, we are not prepared nor authentic to what we are actually asking. We say it out of convenience, habit and for the sake of initiating surface conversations taught to us by "society". 

Happiness becomes an inauthentic mask used to not fully feel our "passing" emotions. We may feel sad around a group of friends, but don't want to talk about it. We may feel angry at a partner, but simply close ourselves off without expressing our anger with honesty and integrity. The seeking of happiness will only lead you away from yourself and prohibit you from growing as an individual. 

Why do people get so involved and curious with the general moods of others? Why are so many concerned about your illusory state of "happiness"? 

It stems from insecurity. We like to project and are sometimes unconscious of how we interact with others.  We want others to feel well in order to validate our own state of existence. This can be toxic. We shouldn't hold our emotions and peace on hold for the interest and states of other people. We can project our own happiness by being with what is. Being present with all chemical reactions that are happening within us. Being conscious with our actions. 

Maybe abandoning the interest in happiness will help us see and surrender us to the dynamic ebb and flow of life. The yin and yang. We can appreciate happiness when we can appreciate sadness. We can let ourselves truly feel our emotions for what they are. Passing clouds that act as teachers and allow us to look deeper within ourselves. Forcing happiness is an attachment to a fleeting concept that will only lead to more suffering. 

Have you noticed that happiness naturally arises when you have no interest in trying to be happy? 

Happiness becomes a byproduct of being present. 

Happiness could be the first bite into a sweet donut. 

The embrace of an old friend. 

The flowering of a dandelion. 

The inner reflects the outer. 

When we focus on truly understanding ourselves, our interest in the general disposition of others will fade. You will remain compassionate and embrace the humanness of each individual. You will allow for space. Allow for uncertainty and growth. The push and pull. The concave and convex. 

If we are striving to be happy all the time, we will turn into the cardboard cutout versions of our ill perceived selves. No depth. Flimsy. Easy to see as fake. 

Relax with each emotion. Observe and recognize. Let it breathe and do not identify. Let it pass and be patient. 

Flowers grow from sh*t. 


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