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Thursday, April 28, 2016

Your Reaction

You're having a good day.
You are on your way to work when a driver cuts you off. This triggers you.
You become heavy with rage and resentment and try following the callous driver. You realize you may be late for work, but you don't care. You are riding that Road Rage high until you're  satisfied. 

A few minutes later you see someone get punched at a bus stop. Your road rage subsides to an empathetic state. It reminds you of that time someone sucker punched you at a Dave Matthews Band concert. For no good reason. You lose the careless driver that cut you off and shrug it off as if it never happened. You realize you are running late for work. You drive fast. Adrenaline is high. You finally make it to work, jump out of your car and fall flat on your face. With all the events that happened earlier, all you can do is just laugh. 

How conscious are we to the reactions we have with certain events or the way people treat us? 
Are we accustomed to reacting to certain scenarios based upon our belief systems, the way we were raised and or the lack of sleep we have been getting? 

It all boils down to responsibility. 
Taking responsibility for our reactions. 
Seeing them as teachers. 
Even if we act out, we can take responsibility for how we react to each situation. We can accept that our reactions have been inappropriate, mean or uncalled for. 

Between stimulus and response is the choice to see what is going on. Shining the light of awareness will show how we use blame to escape our own reactions. Blaming knows no end. 

We can see the driver that cut us off as an opening to connect back to the moment. When we are present, fear cannot enter. We can accept the driver for who is in and love him. We do not know the life situation of the reckless driver that so rudely interrupted your daily routine. This man or woman could be going through some rough life circumstances. This doesn't give him or her an excuse, but it allows for us to not have someone else's unconscious actions to steal our presence. We can see that having resentment hijacks our peace, joy and presence. Why would we let anyone hijack this!?!

Emotions are great teachers for us. They are telling us something. When we let the emotions take over, we are slipping into unconsciousness. When you try to escape an emotional reaction, you make it bigger and feed it. Feel the emotions fully, breathe with them. Thank them for being there. Thank them for letting you feel anything. If you were numb, emotions would be a blessing. 

When we start living by what we project and what intentions we set, we will not be rules by how we react to people's actions or opinions. We can confidently accept other's beliefs and wrong doings against you and react with presence and compassion. 

What kind of presence are you bringing to the situation? 

People will react to how you react to situations. 

Are you bringing, anger, discomfort and resentment to the table or are you bringing attentiveness, compassion and the willingness to listen? You will attract what you bring. 

The first step is accepting our emotions and reactions. The second step is accepting the way others react. When we can truly accept ourselves, we can accept others. We can respond without aggression. We can respond with curiosity and not judgment. Other people can be a reflection of our own insecurities. 

Switch from a reaction/victim consciousness to a proactive and inquisitive level of emotionally intelligent awareness. 


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