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Sunday, May 17, 2015

I'm considering eating this donut.

There it lies. A glazed cake donut sitting right next to a few napkins and an used Styrofoam coffee cup. Someone must have left it there for a reason. Did someone forget to eat this wonderful baked blessing? Maybe I shouldn't. Wait, when was the last time I had a donut? It was like 2 weeks ago right? Ok maybe a week? I had a muffin a few days ago. Does that count as the same thing?

(5 second silence)

Maybe I should just go eat some oatmeal and a grapefruit. Take it easy today you know? But the donut is just sitting there. I think it is meant to be. I mean who leaves such a delicious donut on the table in the work room? This obviously implies that someone was willing to take this out of the box and put in plain sight so that someone will eventually take it. I mean they could have just thrown the donut away!

" Ok let's take a few breaths. 1...2...3...ok let's get a cup of coffee."
" This coffee is kind of old, but it will do. This coffee needs something.."
" I think this coffee needs something to dip a... DONUT!"

Ok I am going to go for it! I am going to go for the donut. I mean I don't get the opportunity to grab a free donut everyday! Treat yourself big man! Let your desire transcend your thoughts and just act! Grab that donut like a lost love and smuggle it into your mouth. Caress the delicious chocolate curves and massage the texture with your tongue. The sweet moist clash of the coffee and the sugary delight! Oh what a gracious gift from god!

" Maybe I'll just take a bite..."
" No, who does that? what would I do? Just leave the massacred on the donut or throw it away? What a waste!"

I'm beginning to think that it is my moral duty and obligation to eat this lonely donut. I mean there are little kids starving in Africa right? I shall conquer this baked good with conviction and valor!

*grabs donut
*stuffs donut in mouth
*eats with presence and satisfaction
*Wipes mouth and takes a big swig of coffee

That was great! Ok, that wasn't so bad. I feel better I think. Maybe I should have had some oatmeal. Oh the weight of sin! The cursed siren call of sugar! Donut, you have defiled me. You have tricked me, but the moment I tasted you I know it was true lust. For those passionate 30 seconds, you completed me. Thank you.

Gratitude to the Donut!


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