I'm bored of dreams

                              

                                                              I'm bored of dreams. 

Bored of the things I was told to have. To have that dream and to live it. To think that a dream even exists. Where is this quote on quote dream? Is it in the future or is it happening now? Am I merely being duped into some type of opportunistic idealism? 

A dream is a fantastic idea. Dreams are in that realm of the imaginary and some of us are convinced that we can manifest them into a self perceived reality. Is this really all true? 

When we day dream, we are carried away in our imagination. A land of make believe within our mind's eye. Then we snap back to reality. Or so we think. We just get caught up in another cycle of thought. Which is also simple Make Believe. 

Dreams. They are in the head. A fantasy. Maybe a necessary fantasy. They are enticing. They are intoxicating. They can be fruitful escapes. All images in the head that we think haven't happened yet.

All dreams and lofty goals are all about moving from "what is" to "what should be". 

Dreams. They can give us a sense of purpose. At least that is what is claimed that they do. Dreams make us feel good. They offer a sense of hope. A sense of promise away from suffering or god forbid a realm of "No purpose" and "no dreams". We are beaten to believe to follow these so called dreams. As if they are path towards righteousness. A path to fulfill some type of divine calling. This could all be true (in some sense). Or merely a fiction and illusion to prevent us from descending into madness?

Follow my dreams? Well, that means that I am in service to some ideal. Some point in time where my needs and wants will be met. Why can't that be now? Do I really need to follow something? Especially something imaginary? Following rings very similar to "chasing". Like a rabbit chasing a carrot on a string. Will i be upset if I do not chase/follow the dreams I think I want? Will I see my self as a failure if I do not "attain" this dream that I think I want?

Should I feel guilty if I choose to not "follow a dream"? There is so much in society that hinges on people following their dreams. But to what end? Can you dreams be small or do they have to be BIG? Go big or go home they say. Will I be destined to a life of suffering and purposeless if I do not have any BIG DREAMS? What is merely living and going with the flow is all I want? Or all I think that I want that is. 

Are you in a state of lack if you do not follow a dream? 

So many of us spend our lives trying to hit milestones and attaining things that were engrained in us from a young age. You can be anything you want if you put your mind to it they say. So we get caught up in the idea that life is a checklist. Moving from one point to another. Seeing life as leveling up to give us a sense of purpose and sense of superiority. We can get caught up in looking at others that don't have what we have and get sad or become self emboldened when we FEEL like we have more than others. What a vicious cycle. What does that say about us if we need to feel better about ourselves by seeing the lack in others. In reality, the problem is us when we cast judgement and self assuredness. 

Acceptance of the present moment is a revolutionary act when everyone is chasing their dreams. 

You see others chasing their dreams and it can make you feel hopeful or bitter. You can feel like you aren't worth it. What if you put in more time? What if you put in more work? Yet, we can't get into the heads of others. We only see the illusory facade of others in the rat race of chasing dreams. We can never know the whole story. Those people we put on the pedestal are not us, yet we see them as mirrors for our own insecurities and self perceived shortcomings. All these people shit, sleep and piss like everyone of us. Who's to say they are any better if they chose or think they chose to follow a dream? 

Feeling like giving up on your dream? Good, the "dream"life is accepting where you are and loving what you are doing. Maybe it will lead to fame and money. Maybe it won't. The important thing is feeling and truly living in every capacity.

You don't need a dream life when you're truly AWAKE. 

Many people want things that others want. So they feel like they should go down a similar path as the others they want to emulate. This is memetic desire. You may want that nice car or that nice house, but do you really? Would those external things really make things much better? You will still have your own head of thoughts, insecurities and subconscious happenings. You think that moving to a brand new city will change things. You will feel good about it for awhile, but over time you get use to it and you will fall in the same routines and feelings you had when you lived in the previous city. You can't escape that skull of yours.

We are conditioned to follow our dreams and get dissapointed or jaded when we think we aren't following them. Living a passionate life not tied to outcomes could be considered a dream life even it it means you aren't getting paid for it or living full time off a "dream". 

We love to delay our own sense of peace. We tell ourselves, when I have this or when I have completed something (big or small) then we can be happy. Then we can relax. How silly. Why can't we be "happy" or accept a sense of peace right now? Those attainments in the future may never come. How silly would we feel if they don't? If we float down a different direction will be dissatisfied? Will we pine over the idea of "What could have happened?" or "What we could have done?"? So you see how these so called dreams cause immense suffering in our own heads. So you don't have that house you thought you would have at your age. Who cares? Why should that matter? If you having that house would happened, it would have. You were merely doing the best you could with what you knew or were aware of at the moment. You feeling guilty or bad for this is absurd. But that doesn't mean you can't feel all those emotions in their full capacity. FEEL it all out, release it. Quit wrestling and live. 

A dream is an ideal. An idea in the mind away from what is happening right now. Can we live with that fact? Can we truly accept it? Can we truly live with idea that we don't need dreams or have a BIG DREAM to truly live? Most of us are just focusing on suriving. And that is ok. We must do what need to do to stay alive. When we are able to survive, that is enough to live. Do we have access to clean water? Do we have a roof over our heads? Sometimes we miss the forest through the trees. In the grand scheme of things, these so called dreams can take away from the gratitude of the present moment. And this present moment is all we have. At every moment. 

DG