You're Suffering and Nobody Cares

 

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You're suffering. It's in your head. It's all a reaction to what is happening both internally and externally. You can accept it or you can resist it. Seems simple enough, doesn't it? Well, there's more to that. 

There's pain in your body that you tolerate and the internal turmoil in our heads that are mostly thought based. Little thought storms we struggle with. They come and they go, but when we latch on we make these storms more powerful. Like turning pebbles into boulders. We simply THINK we are suffering and that is ok. When you see that, you can look at WHY we are suffering. We can tell ourselves that "We don't care" when we might feel like we do. This can work. You don't have to believe everything you think. These uncomfortable suffering thoughts aren't real. When we identify with these thoughts then we create more of what is and that what is is just more suffering. A vicious spiral. 

To care is to put all our attention and energy with our unimpeded non-judgmental awareness. 

We may worry what people think of us or what we are doing to potentially worry or harm other people. We have the images of what we think of others in our head. They are only a fabrication. A glimpse. An illusion. We may think we are judging someone, but we are merely only judging the image we have them that our minds have created. We may even fear that we are being judged. So we adjust the way we behave and the way that we think. We make ourselves more presentable to how we THINK we SHOULD be acting all the while separating ourselves from our own authenticity and sense of self worth. We then become a fractured version of who we think we are and we suffer more. We can drop all that and just accept how we act and think and how others act and think. Free of the need to please. Free of the need to preserve and protect. The more we chisel and peck at our own self image, the more we hide and the more we perpetuate the cycle of suffering. 

Are you responsible for the way other people THINK of you? 

What does all this mean? It's a great question. Does it need to mean anything? Do we need a quick answer? It is all complex that we think we can solve it or understand it. There's more to that. The more we try to solve and understand the more it moves away from us. A simple answer feels nice doesn't it? We cling to certainty and yet when we do that we invite more of that suffering. We try to avoid all these uncomfortable feelings of uncertainty. And that's ok. We can accept that and most importantly we can FEEL it. How often do we just allow ourselves to feel all these uncomfortable suffering thought storms? I mean really FEEL it out. Not overthinking and not intellectualizing it. We can simply BE with it. 

People will have opinions, let them have them. Let them have their own perspectives. It's not about YOU. 

You're suffering and nobody cares because they have their own suffering. Their own internal struggles that YOU do not see. We may see an external struggle, but we cannot get inside their heads. This sounds bleak, but it is liberating. Others are in their own head and they have their own distorted version and biased image about you. Their struggles are happening in their heads and your struggles are happening in your heads. Why should they care? Why should YOU care? We can only accept others as how they are and not try to change them. 

We Like to focus on our OWN suffering, but then somehow blame all of that suffering on external factors. When can we take responsibility and move on from this?

Together we can learn and accept this. This liberating fact everyone has their own little battles. Little unconscious skirmishes. When you're aware of this, the suffering seems to subside. We drop the need to care of what other people think. We drop the charade of pleasing others in order to feel better about ourselves or simply escape temporary discomfort. We can stop the chase. The chase of trying to feel better from one thing to the next. A never ending cycle of tension and release. We can watch these uncomfortable thoughts in our heads and really feel them out. Really take part in the process by observing and not judging the process. 

Should we care if we think that others think that we care?

There is no wrong or right in this. And that is ok. The illusion is thinking that others really care about our own self imposed suffering. This doesn't mean that we can't ask for help, but we can release ourselves from being victim to the thoughts of others. When we become dependent, we tie ourselves to expectations which tend to disappoint us and create more suffering. Others can tell you they care and you can accept it. There is no need to question it. You can embrace it and not reject it. You can reciprocate and build. We share this experience together as one in this void of uncertainty. Walking together without the need to protect, boast, hide or manipulate our own self image to please others. It's all an adaptive illusion. 

When people say they care, do they really care? Does it really matter? 

It's amazing to FEEL that liberation of being free from the thoughts of others. Actions speak loudly. You can feel this so called suffering and let it be that. There is no need to fix anything or ourselves for the benefit of others. We are simply here now and that is great. We can delight in that in all its unexpected facets and turns. You suffer. They suffer. We suffer. It's everywhere. We can accept that and not judge or escape it. It is what it is. We may think we care, but do we really? Do others really care? Can they really care? Lastly, does it matter? Thinks to think on. To sit with. No need to overanalyze or make it big deal. 

We Live. We Think. We Learn. 

DG