Don't Be Somebody

 In a society so focused on identity and standing out, the idea of melding into the background and behind the curtain becomes a type of revolutionary act. An act of rebellion against a system so hell bent on trying to get you to define yourself in its own sophisticated late capitalist pyramid scheme. We have the tools at our disposal. The infinite feeds and loops. All seeking attention of others. Just grasping to stay relevant. 

There is great success in the idea of not being successful. In not playing the game of merit and morose moral and aesthetic posturing. We are trained at a young age in this Western World to climb the ladder and compete like rats festering for the most stinky cheese. Most of us feel compelled or even pressured into it. We want the comfort. We want the luxury. We crave the idea of status as if it is a tangible and lucrative thing that we can put in a fancy chest that will fill the void within us. God forbid we become a "forgotten" person with no clout or social standing. Who do we even think we are? 

Identity is multifaceted. Everchanging and impermanent through time and mostly within our bony expanding heads. When we cling so hard to identities we tend to lose our center. The more we identify with, the more we fractionalize and compartmentalize ourselves. The need for the Sense of Belonging is a strong one. When we find our tribe it lights us up. It gives us a sense of meaning and purpose for the most part. Sometimes we sacrifice who we really think we are just to fit in. It's a tricky three dimensional type of puzzle. As kids we aspired to be different identities. Most were imaginary in many respects. We saw the heroes in our lives and strove to imitate them. Who wouldn't want to be a hero in their own life story? 

To think that our identity or identities are "fixed" is a fallacy. Sometimes an identity, especially an identity that is focused around a group can be a cover for insecurity or trauma. 

When someone challenges our identities, we might get defensive. This is comes from the identification with our own self created identities. The self is a product of time. Always connected to the past in some way. Always trying to define us against the world we see and project. We then turn into mirrors and reflectors for what we want to or what we think we want to see in the world. It's complex for sure. 

Our own distorted perception of how unique we think we are is just that. Distorted. Most of us want to stand out from the crowd or at least not associate with the attempted madness of crowds. It would destroy our own sense of unique identity if we were to just blindly conform. I mean how would that make us more unique or feel like somebody of value? 

We get trapped in our own heads. Trapped in the cyclical nature of thoughts. It almost feels like a type of benign and banal psychosis. We feel the need to prove ourselves to ourselves and the society around us. What's the point in adjusting to a society that doesn't accept us for who we are? A society that cannot understand the need for emptiness and introspection can only keep seeking validation from the external world. The abstract nature of the material world if you will. 

What's so wrong with being a person that is in shadows and not trying so hard to be "somebody"? Most of the time its the work that speaks for itself. We get in our own way for most of the time. What's wrong with being ok with being ok and not have the need to share it with others or the rest of world? Not like there is anything specifically wrong with that, but when we are constantly seeking validation we miss the mark. We miss the immense power and energy that comes with introspection. That eternal well within us that can let us be still and not swept up in the tornado of thoughts and external distractions. 

Does it matter if people see you doing things you love? What's wrong with staying in you own little lane and bubble and sharing with those who you love and care about most? Most of the attention and validation we seek springs from our own insecurities. Seeking validation can sometimes twist people into a dependent relationship. The key is to see yourself as a work in progress. You are enough in some many ways. You are a "somebody" just by being present with who you are and not who you THINK you are. An everchanging entity of variant complexities. It's silly to think that you can define yourself by relying on the validations of strangers. 

"If you're not content with who you are now, what makes you think you will ever be?"

What's so great about being famous and important? A new sense of self consciousness and responsibility arises when you enter the realm of fame and fortune. It's an ego magnifier. Life in the public eye can be a lot more stressful. There is a bunch of energy in keeping up with appearances. People will build you up, but can tear you down at the drop of hat and discard you like a finished can of beer. Once you are popular and relevant, you are obligated to keep that up and to not stray or show your most obvious flaws. You will have to look over your shoulder more and plan how your actions will affect the cultural image of yourself. This can increase anxiety in so many ways. Your self image becomes way more distorted and deceptive when under the pressure of fame.

So what's the use in "trying" to be somebody? You see how you are getting in your own way?

Social Media has created the illusion that people really do care about how and what we think. Is this necessarily true? Maybe incrementally or on an individual basis, but in totality not at all. Most of the time we might create a little boost of serotonin or outrage, but then it's on to the next thing. The next banal piece of attention grabbing content floating aimlessly in an endless feed or feeds. How many of us just mindlessly post without the consequences or repercussions? I would guess that most people either forget or get way too self conscious about what they post. Try looking at what you have posted years ago and let it sink in. How does it make you feel? Does it hold true today? We are trying amorphous individuals that for the most part lack a substantive center. This may sound harsh, but I'm sure that some of it rings "mostly true". 

Shine a light on the void within you without trying to fill it. Sit with it. Just be with it even for a short period of time. 

It's truly liberating when you realize that most people do not care about your opinions. They may think that they do, but they might just be waiting to put in their two cents. I mean what really makes us think that we actually care about what we think we care about? This may all sound negative, but it's most revelatory. It let's you cut some dead weight in your head and trim the fat of what needs to be said. If you feel called or compelled to say something into the ether of the internet, then do it. Self promote. Tell people what you are up to or don't. There is a beauty in silence and seeing the unfolding of drama and absurdities around you. You'll see patterns. You'll observe tragedy and comedy. There is endless sense data to keep your monkey mind amused if you aren't so invested in containing the storms around you. 

Your thoughts are there like clouds in the sky. The sky is more or less you. It's when we identify with thoughts and feelings where things can get murky and confusing. Watch those clouds move without trying to wrangle them. It's pretty counter intuitive to wrangle clouds anyhow. 

So you still want to be somebody? Great. Do it. Whatever "somebody" means to you. If it gives you value and purpose then by all means. It may be more satisfying than you think. Or quite disappointing. It's more about the journey ain't it? Listen to that silence. Feel out that intuition. Know that it is ok to be content with not becoming a Notable Person of Culture. Most be people aren't popular. Keep your circle close. Let the most important people close to you add to your own unique energy. What's so wrong with just striving to be a decent person? 

God knows, we need more of those.

DG