You're Busy, but at what Cost?

                                                           

                                                            You’re busy, but at what cost ?

You’re constantly busy. Well at least that is what you tell yourself. Realistically, you have time for the things you WANT to do, but you get tied up in the day to day. Being busy becomes an excuse and not a reason. It’s a harsh truth with many degrees. A real conundrum of modern society. This hustle and bustle ecosystem has made it to believe that we need to be “busy” in order to fit in or fulfill a sense of purpose. In reality, being busy is subjective and contingent on how much we are actually “doing”. Most of being busy isn’t necessarily based on how we are “being” or how we are “doing”. We may be busy in activities and in the mind, but deep down we are tired, distracted and/or just on autopilot. Like a hamster on a wheel or whatever symbolism you choose to identify with more.

Being busy is just a placeholder. A Default Auto-Pilot state, if you will. It’s a label we tell ourselves and others around us. It gives us a little bit of validation for our ego. We must be doing good if we are busy, right? Could be. But we could be busy doing all the wrong things and nothing comes without some type of cost or consequence. We may be super busy now, but then feel more empty when we are not “as busy”. There’s nothing wrong with not being busy. There’s nothing wrong with not having downtime to really reflect and look inward on all the things that aren’t really of service to us in the long run. It’s ok to not be in a hasty and hectic position all the time. The world isn’t going to stop once we decide that we aren’t as busy as we “think” we are.

Are you busy being busy or is busy busy being you?

There’s an eb and flow to life. A real yin and Yang situation. You’re going to need more purposeful “busy” times to get stuff done, but you also need that retreat and rest phase. Otherwise, you get burnt out. It seems that when you’re all things business all the time you become all things “busyness”. Are you just mindlessly filling your days because you have to or have you tricked yourself in believing that if you’re not constantly busy then you’re “worthless”? When you tie being busy to your own self worth then you are on a bath where you will never be busy enough. In fact, if you are always busy you will become less productive over time. You won’t have time to think, reflect and correct. You’ll just be from one thing to another. A vicious cycle that doesn’t do anyone any good. Especially for the body and the mind. And let’s not forget the stillness of the soul in all of us.

There's really nothing interesting with being busy. It mostly just makes you dazed and dizzy. 

You might have so many meetings where not much gets accomplished, but what does that say about being busy? You may have a yoga class after work and a dentist appointment all in the same, but what does that say about you being busy? Being busy takes out a crucial and vital element of being human. And that’s being human. You don’t have unlimited energy throughout the day and most of the time there are various peaks and valleys predicated on your own mental state, what you are, your lifestyle and external factors most likely relating to how you make a living. None of us are immune to this external stimuli and how it affects how we navigate the world. It’s all part of learning and growing. This is why it’s important to be aware of when we say we are busy or “feel” like we are being busy.

Being busy is not even a state of being, it is the act of running away from the present moment and your own self.

There seems to be a trend of people that use the excuse of being busy to get out of things as well. It replaces the “no” that a lot of us do not know how to communicate effectively and constructively. If you are a people pleaser, this really resonates. No one likes to be rejected, but there are far better ways to communicate it without using the ol’ “ I wish I could, but I’m busy.” If you’re really interested in committing to something then you would do your best to make it work. But sometimes our schedule doesn’t allow us to commit to the things that we would rather be doing. And that’s ok. There’s always another time. Can’t make that Happy Hour with a friend? Simply state that you can’t at the time and make a plan to reschedule. Sounds simple I know. Almost too simple, but expressing your interest without using the “I’m busy” line can work wonders. It can even change your behavior and how you act in the world. If you’re actually busy, is there any reason to really tell someone else. It’s a crutch and an auto pilot type to function. You’re not going to hurt someone’s feelings if you tell them that you’re busy, but you might be better off taking a different approach from a perspective of gratitude and honesty. There’s no reason to wax poetically about your life story on how you can’t make that happy hour with a friend. You only need to communicate what needs to be communicated devoid of all the bells, whistles and details.

Turn it from Doing to Being from Being to Doing. 

A busy mind doesn’t mean a healthy and aware mind. In fact most of the time tries to find anything to make it busy whether it’s mental or actual tasks. Buddhists call this “the monkey mind”. If you’re constantly just busy in the mind and not really aware of why or what you are doing then that doesn’t seem like the best situation now does it? If you’re constantly from one thing to another then you’re really never “there”. It could be bouncing from thought to thought or task to task. The inner reflects the outer. No amount of busy work will really get you anywhere. Busy work just begets more busy work. Are you starting to see that? A good practice is to pause and ask “why am I busy?” Is it necessary that I be so busy right now?

Are you really busy being busy or just avoiding what really most important?

Those gaps between the thoughts or tasks are magical moments. You ever pay attention to those? Those little spaces where nothing is occupying your brain. Those little (non-busy) spaces where you can feel the breeze on your face and you’re not thinking about the “thing”. Being busy is just following orders of what you think you need to be doing at the moment. And that’s fine. There are things that we need to do to keep us alive and the lights on. Most of those actions will happen naturally when you’re in the present. An action can be done without the need to feel busy and with less resistance. Presence if the key in this situation. The idea of being busy dissipates when we are truly present and aware.

At what point will being busy, just not be really worth it anymore?

Most of being busy is just a masked form of distraction. There’s a sense of guilt and shame attached to it. If we aren’t being busy or “productive” then we tend to feel “lazy” and society has taught us to not be lazy. We attach being lazy to our own self worth and actualized well being. Are we trying to be busy because we see others being busy or are we genuinely just so insecure that we need to feel like we need to be doing something at all times? If you shift more to “being” and less of “doing” then you’ll start to relax. You can see more clearly when you realize that there are so many things we do and worry about that it does nothing for our well being and the well being of the people we surround ourselves with.

Being busy all the time can create a lot of stress and then you become busy with managing all that stress!

If you like being “busy”, that’s great. (Chances are you have deluded yourself in thinking this.) If you genuinely like the idea of being busy all the time and it gives you a sense of value and purpose, then by all means continue that. But what real comes from being busy all the time? Do you feel better about yourself? Or are you relying on that state of being busy to define who you think you are? It’s ok to step away and take a deep breath and ask yourself if being busy is all that it is cracked out to be. If you love what you are doing or are present with what you are doing then the act of being busy becomes silly. You’re just doing what you like doing simply for the act of doing. Not to prove anything. Not just to escape boredom, shame and guilt. There is a vast internal universe just waiting to be explore and you don’t have to be busy to get there or experience it!


DG