The pros and cons of comparing yourself to “others”

There is a saying that comparison is the greatest thief of joy. There is some truth in this statement, but it tends to make a blanket statement over the root of what comparison is or what it can be.

Let’s look at the “other”. Who is the other? Seems like an obvious question, but it’s more deep than you think. Obviously there are other people, but the way we perceive them and the way our minds create the image of them is the important part.

We have an idea of someone else by what we have gathered from the past. Past actions. Past interactions. Past conflicts. Etc. An image is formed of a person in our minds that is tethered from the experience of the past. People have an idea of who you are and you have an idea of someone else that is biased and unique to your past perception.

How does the other make us feel?

How much of the other is tied to a distortion in perception?
                        ---Distortion is perception.---

The image of the person in our head is limited to the past. We see what we want to see. We project what we see of ourselves onto others. Think of the self as a reflection of insecurities and strengths. Think of the self as great deceiver and distorter of what is. We may think we are judging a person, but in reality we are only judging the image of that person in our heads. We can never have all the information it takes to really assess why a person acts the way they act. We have a distorted perception of that person. Perception in essence is built around distortion.

We have a low resolution and limited view of the world. All uniquely catered from the past and filtered through that big fat thing we call the brain. All fragmented, biased and full of fantastical stories. Delight in the peaks and valleys of our collective evolution.

This makes things a lot more clear. When you judge, just observe. Why are you doing it in the first place? When you compare, why are you comparing to someone else? To become a better person? To live up to your own self perceived potential? What's the underlying intention? It's important to see the cause for why your brain so easily jumps to judgment and/or condemnation. 

When you express a judgment you are strengthening the self which is tied to the past. It is already old and probably dull. It is already limited. It is a projection of what you want to see in the world. How you think the world should be and not essential what “it is”. What are you resisting? 

The concept of judgment is built on a shaky ground of resistance. 

Comparison is not a thief of joy if you understand the mechanisms of why you are comparing something in the first place. There’s is something happening within you. Something trying to communicate with you about how you see yourself. If you try to suppress it or change it, it becomes stronger. What you resist, persists.

The image is dead. The image in your head. The image of the idea of the person in your head is what you make of it. Most of it is unconscious. It gives us feelings. From those feelings we construct emotions. Little stories that tell us how we think we should feel about another person and how we should feel about acting in the world. How we act and what we act on reflects how we see our own self worth. We judge the stories of the image of the person in our thoughts.

There is the physical "other" and other "other" that is merely a bundle of images and thoughts. 

We take the data from outside and try to make sense of it. These are where the senses come in. How do we try to make sense of the world around us? Through stories? Through emotions and ideas?
--

Here’s a little experiment:

Let’s say you idolize someone. You want to be better at something. You want to improve and potentially compete with the person you admire or idolize. Maybe we think we can be "better" than them. We tend to build hierarchies whether we like to or not. 

We can’t be better than the person in all reality. We can only be better than the image we have of that person in our head. We cannot read minds. We can only make assumptions, hypothesis’s and predictions with how they might ask. The real issue deals with how we view ourselves. What does our mind create concerning how we view ourselves? What are the images, stories and memories that define us? Take a minute with this. Reflect with no need for a solution.

The image is hazy and fictional, but all too real. 

Take a deep breath. Just observe how you judge the image of the person in your head and how you judge "you". There is nothing wrong with this. There is nothing immoral about judging the image in your head. It’s all about having a conversation with the feelings that you are having and constructing a reality with what is. Let it play out.

Two Questions:
What are you projecting?

What are you compensating for?

Take a breath and let it marinate.

ENERGY IN MOTION

It’s also about the energy. If you get a rush from the idea of competing or manipulating another person, then you can use it. Not to hurt or to maim, but to get creative and align with the present moment. Let your mind wander and get out of your own way. Let the wheels spin without too much effort or interruption. Our minds tend to work wonders when we simple observe and get out of our own way.

USE that ENERGY. It is a gift. It is a tool.

Why do you compare yourself to others in the first place? Are you merely moving towards a potential you have in your mind? Do you wish to improve for your “future self”? Are we just trying to make experiences and memories for us to remember in the future? Here is where self constructed binaries and hierarchies come into place. What do we see as above us and below us? Are we shaping our reality around an ideal? A higher order? An ascension myth? We all tend to get caught up in our own stories switching from fool to hero to villain to enemy. Step away from the story and watch.

Think of comparison as a game of the mind. Let it play out. Don't make it personal. Watch the play unfold without interruption. Notice the fade. Notice the stillness afterwards. There's always a calm after the storm.

An image can be an ideal that we reach for and never get to since ideals tend to change and improve over time depending on how much attention we give to them. What attention are we giving to those thoughts? Thoughts are cyclical. One leads to another and gather speed and momentum. Before you know it, you are caught in a circle of thoughts that is hard to get out of. So what do we do? We try to think our way out of it. This just creates more spiraling of thoughts. A new set of thoughts to deal with.

Thought happens whether we like it or not. 

Get Out of Your Own Way!

If you give all your attention to moving towards an ideal, then you will manifest what you think you want. What you think you want at the time might not be what you want in the future, but if you follow the ideal without too much resistance than you will discover new and awesome things.

How we act in the present determines how we might act in the future. We are always having imaginary discussions with what we think might be ourselves in the future. When we talk to ourselves, who are we talking to and who is actually doing the talking? How we do the small things is how we do the big things. Everything is connected. 

You can honor a person (the image of the person) and respect them internally. You can express gratitude with each judgmental thought. You can allow it to happen. You can allow a thought rooted in comparison without judging the thought itself. Thoughts are not good or bad. What we define is what we control and what we control is what we define. How we act in the world is what is important. What determines our character and orientation with the crazy world around us determines our destiny. There are no enemies unless you act as if enemies exist. There are no judgments. Just the a projection of the self that is tied to memory and how we feel about someone. (The way we perceive someone.)

If it hard for you to deal with comparison, take a look in the mirror or carry a mirror with you.
Little do we realize that we carry around black rectangular mirrors in our pockets all the time...

What are we allowing and how are we reacting?

Do you see? You only compete with the distorted image of the person that your mind creates from past experiences. As long as you are not malicious to the actual person, there is no harm. Competition allows one to be creative. To work with the limits that are given. Use what you got and you will realize how much you can do with so little information. Our perception is our reality no matter how limited or distorted it may be. Work with what you got and manifest the best.

You judge the image, not the person. 
But who or what is doing the judging?

DG