Radicalized in Real Time

Social media can give you glimpses into the biased lives of the people you love or at least tolerate. It is a mask for how we want to be perceived in the world. Some people like to pick the best parts of themselves and showcase them to the world online. The others may gravitate towards the other direction. The direction of pity, sarcasm and insecurity. The direction of projection and compensation. But compensating for what?

Alas, our egos take the wheel in the comment sections. It's easy to react knowing that you may be right. You've convinced yourself of it. Surely, we have seen the light and want to educate the misinformed and ignorant. Our echo chambers become rather comfortable and unique to our own skewed world view. With the literal click of a button, you can share biased articles strengthening your cognitive bias. It feels good to be right and it feels even worse when someone so flippantly shrugs off our effort filled world views.

We love the attention. Just admit it. We post something and crave the engagement. We crave those little dopamine boosts when someone gives us the attention we were seeking. It feels even better when someone agrees with us. We start to feel less and less alone. Your people are out there and closer than you think as you glance down at an anxiety inducing rectangle of one form or another. How would we react or post if we could see how our reflection through our pocket computers? Our sweaty little fingers might take a pause. A moment to literally reflect on what we are doing before some type of emotive monster decides to take over.

The group think starts to take over. When we feel a calling or a sense of purpose then we gravitate towards the cause. This can be many things. For the most part, politics has been the main driver in this mechanized noisy world. We see the injustice in the media and the people in power around us. We skim through polarizing articles and start to develop an arsenal of talking points and comebacks. It's no longer about just having fun anymore. It's about showing the world how you can be a cog in the wheel. A small part of a bigger picture. Something bigger than us. Something that gives us meaning and direction.

We have been fed a narrative of Us vs. Them. It's a way to separate us and control us. It's away to always have tension and distraction. What good does this narrative do for growth and the expansion of awareness? Them vs. Us just seems unjust.

The need to be right is a strange and daunting feeling that can pave a path of conflict and destruction. When we focus so much on getting our points across and not listen to the other points. Self righteousness has a poisoning effect. We are so resistant to being wrong that we tend to double down on the information and propaganda that we already know. We get emotionally invested and ready to defend ourselves with invisible shields. Taking things personally is what leads to most of the self created problems in our lives.

A mantra for modern times:
I don't mind that I don't mind. 

What's the point of being right all the time if it doesn't allow us to listen and grow? The fact of the matter is that it is not all about us. It's not about you or me specifically. If we make it all about us then we follow a road to radicalization. A road full of bumps and turns that lead us away from growth and into a forest of cognitive bias and delusion. Drop the feeling to be right and see what happens. What happens if we are wrong? I mean what's the big deal? If we settle down without the intention of making a point then we open up a new space of learning. A new place of reflection and inspiration. It takes the pressure off to listen and not immediately react. How you react is of the utmost importance.

It's easy to get swept up in the storm of emotions. There are so many unbearable events in the world that can easily take us out of a pleasant moment. It may make our blood boil or hair stand on end, but how we react is so important. It's so easy for us to become hosts to an ideological parasite especially when the ideology is so emotionally driven. Essentially, we are what we tolerate. When we bottle up anger to something that doesn't fit our world view, we can release it full force later on. In fact, this is what happens when we repress something and aren't able to communicate effectively and clearly. Radicalization thrives on riding emotional waves and doubling down on beliefs.

How do we deal with loved ones that are getting radicalized in real time?
Do we attempt to call them out and tell them how we feel without scorning them?

There may not be one way, but you can surely communicate what you need to communicate if you listen first. If you really let them talk out the ideas that have been spoon fed to them then you can let them refine their thinking. It is when we are so eager to push back that the communication fails and the emotions override the reason abilities. Who is to say that we even know what is right? What if we are more radicalized than we think we are? It is so easy to have blinders and biases in a "need to be right" type of mindset.

Why does it feel so hard to listen in this upside down world? Most of us are just waiting to talk. Waiting to get the next word or point in. How good does it FEEL to nail a point on the head? Think about all the times that you felt accomplished after proving a point, especially when it meant "debunking" another person's set of ideas? It's perfectly fine to admit how we feel when we dominate others. It's built into us. The competitive nature of survival has allowed us to exist today from what has happened with the ancestors of our past. We don't have to act like rabid animals to really get what we want across.

Act as if there is no agenda. No direction. Let people talk it out. Talking it out allows one to really understand what they think. They will hit some bumps and make mistakes. That's all a part of learning. We are all wonderfully imperfect and very vulnerable. It's not about putting up walls, it's about allowing everything to visit. To sit and make it's point. If we can be a conduit without resistance, we can understand how we can easily latch onto ideas that might poison us in the long run. Just think of emotions and ideologies as visitors. Approach each one with curiosity and no personal attachment. No good or bad. Everything will sort itself out through observation and the step back from our own stories. Now that is a radical life!

DG