The Torture of Thought Based Recovery systems

There you are minding your own business when a thought tornado or possibly a thought devil comes and starts to reek havoc on your perfectly set up modern interior cerebral living room. Maybe you saw something that triggered you. Maybe the open space between thoughts allowed a bad experience to flood in like a forgotten faucet. In any case, you feel the tight feeling in your chest and try your best to dismiss it. You use your mind sword to wack away at the bad thoughts. 

Resistance. Resistance. Repression. 

We are taught to use positive self talk to justify our actions of the past and simply shoo them off without getting to "know" them. We place our bad thoughts in the bad thoughts folder in the desktop of our minds. We try to flood ourselves with positive affirmations or simply tell ourselves that it's going ok. We attempt to apply rationality to self destructive thoughts and willingly reason with some resistance against the agonizing thought forms. 

Unleashing an army of good thoughts against bad thoughts is only strengthening the illigetimacy of the self and the ego. Although it may seem courageous and advantageous to fight within the thought arena, it is not sustainable. It much like the ego trying to get rid of ego itself which itself is the ego taking control. We compare and contrast out behaviors to others which strengthens the bloody walls of self and creates more suffering in the future.

Each mistake, error, atrocity and out of character move, is an opportunity for growth and expansion into conscious awareness. Since the self is a product of time, identifying with accomplishments and errors strengthens the core of the self. Attaching your self worth to outward things such as awards, accomplishments , earthly pleasures and anything material, creates fertile soil for suffering. 

When you get in the habit of creating thought based recovery structures as a mean to "cope" with the bad things in life, you are plunging yourself in the deep pool of unconsciousness. When you consciously observe the passing of thought forms without going straight towards a repetitive affirmative thought structure, you are transcending your unconscious habits. With practice, the ability to analyze without identifying with the self will yield some great conscious growth. 

Things like:

" Ah, why did I say that?! I'm just a piece of crap!" 

"I'm such an idiot!" 

" What was I thinking! " 

Most of us are guilty of the negative self talk. We become increasingly comfortable with the interior shaming of our character. Shame and blame know no end and are two of the biggest unhibitors of spiritual growth. Although positive self talk may be different, it still operates under the same idea of boosting the ego. It creates a false subconscious pleasure pain dichotomy that perpetuates itself through punishment and reward. 

Understanding these structures is the first step in freeing yourself and growing as a person. You'll glide through and accept what is without trying to define yourself through your actions directly. You will see lessons and learn. You will consciously observe the dragon of your self trying to take the handle bars of your brain. Without resistance, you will calmly invite the self to do what it will. Your lack of resistance will deter the dragon. You will see the thoughts as clouds and your inner being as an unbreakable sky.