Stop pursuing happiness and just focus on waking up and suffering.

 

It's another day. You need to wake up for your job. The alarm is well...alarming. We are shaken from our dream state and thrusted back into the real world where some of our clothes are on the floor and there's a few dirty dishes in the sink. 

Are you feeling trapped? Do you feel like you are a piece of meat in this work centered economy we call The Grind? The days blur together and we get caught in a routine. Running on autopilot and getting distracted with screens and feeds. The small convenient pleasures and temporary dopamine boosters get us through the day. We like to go with what we "feel" when we know we "should" be doing things that we just aren't feeling at the moment. The procrastination list just gets longer and farther away when we in transit between the work-sleep-social-play-obligation cycle. 

You may think that life sucks. You know. The succession of weekdays garnished with a celebratory time in between that we may call the weekends. Those couple of days that most of us look up to where we can relax and potentially not get caught in a whirlwind of stress and projects from the thing we called a "week" before. It's funny because week sounds a lot like weak. 

We need to Maximize Suffering. Maximize the value of how we choose to suffer. (Or we choose how not to suffer). Go towards. Really lean into it. There's a beautiful absurdity to it. 

The real suffering is thinking that we want Happiness or something like it. Is it something were told that we deserve? Obviously, we don't think that we deserve agony, right? 

Happiness is not on the other side of Suffering, the idea of happiness is the byproduct of the awareness of suffering and how we respond or react to it. 

It is a fun and strange little experiment and act. The act of truly immersing yourself into the suffering you are FEELING. Yes, that's right. The act of really feeling things out. Even if it's uncomfortable. You can sit or breathe through it. It depends on how you respond to it more than anything. When you start to escape momentary suffering, then you put it off and it comes back ten or even twenty fold. It reminds me of that adage of "What you resist, persists." You can visualize the picture. But it seems as if Escapism is very popularly commoditized in this western sphere. Why not escape the discomfort and pain with a screen or substance? Seems easy, now doesn't it?

So if we assume that the default position is suffering and how we react or respond to it then it changes our perception. It molds us and frees us from expectation. We can tame that suffering in our own way. Breathe it in and out. Let it flow. How much are we using external stimuli and events to determine our own self worth and general well being? 

You can think of this FEELING of suffering as a cold shower. Do we tense up at the thought of having to endure a cold shower? Or do we just go straight in without thinking about it and without tensing up? You see, it's the anticipation that kills. It's that anxiety that gets our chemistry running haywire. But if we can relax through the momentary discomfort, we can access a sense of serenity with WHAT IS. 

How can you know or understand the suffering if you keep running from it? 

So you see, Suffering can be a tool. A motivator. But not a means to an end. If you are using suffering to escape suffering, then you are just kicking the can. You are just escaping the experience that you are experiencing. In a way, suffering is a gift. It can zap us into being more present. Well, not more present more say, but allowing for self awareness to emerge. Really this thing we call suffering is just the discomfort or pain that we are feeling within the moment. Yes, that's it. 

So how can we relax through our own suffering? 

Relaxing within the suffering is an act of practice. Not a method or framework per say. It takes the act of noticing and observing the FEELINGS of suffering and when they arise. Is it a body sensation? Did you stub your toe? Or is it your thoughts? If it's your thoughts, it's like clouds passing in the sky. Little suffering clouds. And those clouds eventually dissipate or move out of the way.

Here's a little experiment:

Any time you are feeling an uncomfortable emotion or sensation that could be akin to the conceptual marker of "suffering", really go head first into it. Really FEEL it out and try to exaggerate it if you can. Have you ever been mad and instead of trying to calm yourself down, you just acted more mad? What happened? Did you start to feel that energy coursing through you? Did you start to realize the absurdity of being a victim to a discomfort or emotion? It's all a comical fleeting experience. When we can appreciate the comedy and absurdity of this fleeting moments suffering windows, we can start to open up and not force or build walls against things that we have little control over. Such as suffering, bad feelings, spontaneous reactions and so on. 

/// LEAN INTO THE SUFFERING ///

All this suffering is here for to teach you. It is here to open you up to the unknown. It is here to get you to align with WHAT IS. 

Ask not what you can do for the suffering, but what the suffering can do for you. 

There's a fire. Run towards it. You'll only really get burnt if you stop. 

DG