Why do we all want to secretly enforce our wills on others?

What do we do when want to make a change in the world?
What do we feel when when we disagree with someone strongly?
How often do we feel that we are right?

We move through the world with a distorted sense of self. We see everything through fragmented filters. We are tethered to the conditioning of the past. We all have biased views on how we want to see the world. A world of our own making. A world wrapped up in the importance of "identity".
Why can't we accept people for who they are? Let your preconceptions subside.

Most of us wouldn't physically force our will on others. We do not have the means or malevolence to do so. But if we had the power to do so I would bet that most people would have people do their own bidding at the flick of a switch. If absolute power corrupts absolutely, then we can be sure that most of us would not know how to ethically handle such magnificent power. Power requires a process and most of the time a sacrifice of certain principles and views to attain.

Why are we so eager to think that people have the ability to rule over us? Why would we just give it away?

People can get power hungry and blinded by their own power when they felt like they have a bunch of it. We would like to think that we would do the right thing with the right amount of power, but we cannot know who we will be when we get to a certain level of prestige or power. Will we be more blinded or more informed? Will we think we know more than we actually do? We will be so drunk on power that we convince ourselves that what we do next is ultimately justified?

Some say that power is not given, but taken. Most people will sacrifice so much for a position of power, that they will lose themselves in the process of achieving a means to an end. Once you get to a certain position, you crave more and can only get more power to fill that hunger and void.

There are little jagged pieces of us that tend to arise during conflict and discomfort. We may call it rage or anger. We can give these feelings all the stories and names we want, but we cannot deny that there is ugliness( or whatever we want to call it ) in our hearts. When we resist or repress it, it tends to come out at the most inopportune times. It catches us off guard. It's as if a phantom takes control of our consciousness to express itself in the most unflattering and embarrassing ways. The dismissal or ignorance of the opposite of beauty and righteousness does not create more beauty or righteousness.

What we resist, persists.

We tend to trust people in power to do the things we cannot do. We vote, we contribute funds and support these people in various ways. We look up to people with authority and align with what they say and do. We think we are choosing these leaders, but we may just be falling in line with the conditioning of the past. We are taking the information and falling in formation. We are giving our power away to people that think they know better. To people that we consider our "betters". When we are caught up in the image of ourselves and the thoughts that create that image, we tend attract people of like minded views. Overall, we have to feel something meaningful when supporting someone that has more power than us. What brought us those feelings in the first place? The short answer is the past and our own unchecked conditioning. Our thoughts are movement of the past.

There is just as much potential for compassionate action as there is fascistic tendencies. We must come to terms with how we can go from one thing to another with a flip of a switch or sudden change in emotion. We tend to rationalize our actions after the fact even if we think we are doing something right to begin with. It may start from a place of reason and rationality and end in a state of chaos or disorder. Emotions and reason can both be blinding when we act out of a state of unconsciousness.

--It's the transfer of power and how we contain, use or transmute it.--

Have you ever thought what you would do if you had so much power? Most of us daydream of the possibility of being royalty or some official that is respected by a bunch of people. Some of us have more of a savior complex than others. It feels good to praised. It feels good to know that you are helping people out. If you have a good track record of helping people, it can propel you to think that you can do more even if it requires getting your hands dirtier than you would like to.

Oh the high we get from helping others...

When we get consistent feedback that what we are doing is good we tend not to question it. It tends to double down on our own self righteousness. From that sense of self importance arises a level of distortion that we did not have before. Constant praise begets the desire for more praise. We chase the praise dragon until it is not enough for us and then we get desperate and needy. Dependent on the opinions, likes, comments and praises of others.

Never underestimate the power of applause and how it can change you. Sometimes for the worst..
Most of the time it is not about YOU.

There is always a hidden cost to the idea of the "greater good". We can look back into the dust of history and see how totalitarian people got when they thought that what they were doing was the right thing to do. Sometimes when an ideology catches fire, it is hard to stop. When people start running with a "greater good ideology" they might start getting delusional ideas on what needs to get done. Maybe the greater good requires cracking a couple eggs to create an omelette, but is it really worth the cost of sacrificing innocent lives in the present or even potential generations in the future?

What are the costs and benefits of "progress"?

Who are we to think that are ideas should be universalized? Something being universal usually means that is eternal and cannot be challenged. It is part of idealism. Are there times where we can assume that people want the same for us or even the BEST for us? At what point are we okay with agreeing to disagree in order to live side by side in a type of parallel harmony?

What we see as right might be a necessary myth that we think everyone should share. If we just focus on ourselves on not trying to change others, we will see that most of us want similar things. We want to live freely in a world. We want to live in peace. (Does this ring true in your mind?)

What makes us think that we know what's better for other people if we live a life of confusion and conflict from day to day? If our house is not in order, what makes us think that we can have any say in intervene in other people's lives? We may think we are being virtuous through a mask of insincerity and arrogance, but we really just want others to accept the world the way that we want to see it.

A revelatory change in mindset deals with not seeing the good or bad, but the costs and benefits of our own actions. When we can see with clear eyes and are not blinded by ideology then we can act with compassion and grace. This will not be perfect. That's how we learn. We can act in the interest of others without trying to tell others why we need to act a certain way for a certain means to an end. The mere act of being human implies that mistakes will be made. It is how we learn from them that matters the most.

There is nothing wrong with the idea of radical self interest. Acting with self interest is not selfishness. It is not built on trying to rule or be malevolent against other people. In fact it brings up creative ways to try to serve others in order to better someone's life. It is a win win scenario. A transfer of value and fulfillment.

If it starts with you then there is so much that you can do. If you focus on your own personal progress it will radiate and possibly inspire others to do that same. Once you are able to pick yourself up then you can firmly extend your hand to help someone else knowing that you put the work and attention in for your own personal ascension.

The road to hell may be paved with good intentions ( if it is even paved!) , but it also has potholes of hypocrisy. To think that we know what is best for other people or even groups of people is fallacious in nature. We may think we are being empathetic or moral, but we could just be kidding ourselves by projecting what we want to see in the world. Sometimes we will see something as being the best "Good", but it may require a bit of "Bad" to truly enact what we want in the world. Why is it so hard to accept the pain, suffering and beauty in the world without trying to impulsively change it or mold it in our own image?

Much of the conflict in this world is the refusal of not accepting the world as it is. With all the pain, suffering and joy. All the imbalances of power and inequality. We all play a part in being a part of the good as well as all the bad things around us. Drink it in and take it on. Accept responsibility for the way you see the workings of the world. You can only do so much. It may be fine that things are not fine.....right now.

Have things gotten any better from when they have been worse?

Most of us operate under the delusion that people mostly want the same things as us. Universalism can lead to some distortion of perception. Perception thrives on distortion. We all share a common thread of humanity, but some people want to live life in different ways. Just as long as it doesn't involve hurting or forcing people, what is so wrong to accept that some people have different ideas on how society should exist? We live in a time where we think that what are country, city or state is doing is the pillar of goodness and flourishing. What makes us think that we need to be so evangelical about our values and customs? There is a fine line between imperialism and just trying to convince others that the way we are living is the best life. What can we learn from other cultures and traditions? How can we improve and move together as humans while holding different ideas on what is best for us, our families, and societies?

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Are you actually listening or just waiting to talk?

Most of our repressed need to impose our will on others deals with not being able to listen to the people we think we disagree with around us. Think about how much you can learn and how much you can expand your perception when you just drop your agenda. Just let go of the need to make your "point" every once awhile and be inquisitive about how others think. You will realize that we tend to have more in common than you would think. Many people say the same thing in different ways. They may have a different strategy, but most likely have a similar destination or process.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to not do anything. If your opinion or action will not bring any value, then inaction can allow for a better use of energy. You can always observe and rework how to feel about something and come back to it.

An Exercise:

1. Find someone that you strongly disagree with and invest your attention in the totality of what they think. There may be a reason you do disagree with them so much. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, discomfort leads to growth. The person you strongly disagree with has little to do with how you feel about them, but deals more with how you feel about your own image of yourself.

Certainty can be a big blinder in how we look at the world around us. Wallowing around in our head space and being confident that the way we see the world is right, can lead us down a road that could turn us into our own worst enemies. How often have we acted in ways that we thought we could never act? We tend to mold ourselves to what we ate when we create an enemy in our head of other people. When our mind creates images of people that we think are against us, we tend to reflect or mimic the behavior we are going against. This strengthens our ideology and resistance. It creates more of a murky divide between the humanity of others. People that are so eager to pick sides tend to create more enemies and end up hating themselves in the long run because they cannot deal with their own self imposed importance and tension.

Skepticism is a revolutionary act in an atmosphere of certainty and centralized authority. 

Most of us would willingly trade our sense of liberty and autonomy for certainty and security without even questioning why are doing it in the first place. Security and certainty can be pretty effective domesticates. There is nothing like feeling like you are safe especially when it is an imagined order.

Beware of a centralized authority that says that they have your back. Of course most of the time it is also empty promises. People gain power by what they take and what they think they can offer us to advance their own agenda and climb for new power. Most of the leaders we support we support because we think that we would do the same things if we were in their position. It is classic projection. When we see how faulty we are then we can have less concern for our perceptions of others and can act out with what will bring us the best value in living.

DG