Separating the Ideology from the person

There is a dragon hanging out in a cave that is itching us closer to tribalism. The Them Vs. Us paradigm has become stronger and shifted towards a distorted vision of how we see ourselves and others. Most of these toxic ideologies that we encounter today are nicely packaged with taglines and enticing messages just itching for you to join in. When we see someone we disagree with nowadays we may act differently. There is a whole spectrum of actions that range from reasonable to downright violently emotional. It's more than a small tugging of our heart strings. It can feel like a violation of our own world view spoon fed to us by collective organizations, people in power and people that we see as our role models.

One of the grave mistakes is labeling someone and putting someone in a box. To define is to limit. When we put people into boxes, we quite literally reduce them to what they think. We have no idea what kind of thoughts are in their head or what kind of struggles they are facing in their lives. It's easy to reduce someone to a certain image because it can allow us to feel better about ourselves. That is the illusory nature of the self or what we might call (ego). Just because something is easy, doesn't mean it's right. In fact, it is a move towards ignorance and the possibility of violence.

Part of the problem is the so called "other" we create in our head. We can flippantly disregard their humanity just because their world view does not align with what we think. Is it really what we think? Why do we think the way we think and why do we react so quickly and defensively when our ideological foundations are shaken? It comes from our conditioning. Environmental factors and the unconsciousness of signing up for ideologies where we do not know the roots or the intentions. The creators of ideologies aim to suck you in so that you can be manipulated and think like "Them". There's an ugly word again. Most ideologies require the existence of an opposite to justify its actions, tenets and courses for its proliferation into the future. Ideologies require a set of ideas to be proselytized and preserved so that it can spread to more people.

Why are we so eager to take responsibility for changing the minds of others? How much of making conversation is just us waiting to talk or make a "point"?

We (little we) have to see ideologies for the creations that they are and learn to not let it poison how we see other people. If a person hold a particularly upsetting idea about the world, there is a reason that that person is drawn to it. Why don't we look deeper into why a person thinks the way they think? If you think about it, it's a rather deep and revealing question. It's EASY to write them off. No one particularly wants to be a bigot or racist, but there were several events and choices in their past that allowed them to fall for a certain disturbing view of the world. It takes a create deal of awareness to see how we react and not act so quickly to defend or condemn. This is where our insecurities can come into the light. Especially, when we have an opposing force that we were taught or conditioned to "resist".

No one necessarily wants to be a bad guy. There is a murky mess of trauma that can turn someone combative and develop unsavory characteristics and world views. When you take the view of the hammer, everything can potentially just be a nail. This is where toxic ideologies can sneak in the back door and guide the misguided.

Oppressors require an oppressed to exist in the that particular paradigm. A push and pull of opposites. A dependency on each side to rise and/or fall. 

Most people unconsciously subscribe to toxic ideologies over emotional concerns. They FEEL that what they believe or act out is unquestionably right. People attempt to rationalize their own sphere of feelings after the fact of them acting out one of their beliefs.  It can make things more fluid to not questions ones own conditioning and compulsory cycle of thoughts. Their beliefs become comfortable, complacent and convenient. It really brings up how little of us are in control, but think that we are just based on what we believe. The person across from you who holds different views did not get them overnight. Things happened for that person to be a pawn for a certain ideology. They felt that a certain codex of ideas gave meaning to their life. A good manipulative ideology can make someone feel that they are on a mission and what they are doing is important no matter at what cost. It can distract from personal insecurities, the ability to reason and the emptiness and anxiety of the modern world. Again to illustrate, people move towards what they FEEL is right while sacrificing a sense of personal autonomy and responsibility.

Ideologies can bring about a greater sense of community. What better way to get to know people than to get to know people that think just like you! Ideologies can bond people into getting to know each other without necessarily getting to know each other. It can act as a false prophet. A feeling of moving "together" on a ship to an ideal or destination of homogeneity. One call it a meeting of the minds or thought cohesion (group think). People in the same ideologies can reaffirm their own beliefs and feel a sense of comfort from knowing that what they are doing is right without resistance. Most ideologies are driven on the paradigm where the collective takes precedence over the individual. There is usually a figurative and sometimes literal act of self sacrifice. One's personal needs and wants fall to the way side for the pursuit of the proliferation of the ideology. Hey, if you can stick to a certain of rules and principles and not have the mental burden of questioning them, then why not? There could be something very liberating and surrendering to a certain set of ideas. You own little bubble. Your own little echo chamber.

In order to escape the dragon like grip of ideologies, one must look at his or herself in the mirror. It takes a great deal of self reflection and simply observing the way we think in order to see how others think or arrived to think. Enemies only exist in the mind. The biggest enemy can be and will mostly be yourself. In fact, not seeing this point can lead to more conflict and confusion. One must truly observe how they think to see how they like anyone else could fall for the trappings of toxic ideologies. People can be reflections for our own insecurities. We must see the humanity. We must see ourselves in the others that we THINK we disagree with. We must actively think about how we think without trying to change so quickly. See it unravel without effort or force.

If we observe and listen to other people with supposed conflicting viewpoints, we can be compassionate and patient and ask questions without any type of defensive reactivity. Things start to free up when we realize that we do not have to defend ourselves or condemn the views of others. A new space emerges when we don't interact with that ego resistance that so strengthens the false superiority of the self. It seems like a cliche to just tell people to listen and not just wait to speak, but these simple platitude like lessons hold a great deal of golden meaning. A meaning not clouded by a set of rules and distorted views. What you resist, persists and when you become a part of a resistance you become dependent on the "other" created by ideas set into play by unconsciousness and unawareness.

Ideologies thrive over false dichotomies. It's the classic, "You're either for or against us" trope. Careful of people who use the word "we" so flippantly. This is one way in seeing who is thinking for themselves and who is just spouting off a script from an ideology. Think of ideologues as being on autopilot and running a program in their mind that has molded how they think. They can be merely hosts for a parasitic set of ideas. Canned responses and rehearsed talking points. It's important to not write them off. Listen. Keep open an ear. This can be a wonderful chance for illumination. If not for them, for you. You always have more in common with a person that is drunk on ideology. It is seeing this that will allow for you to not succumb to any type of emotional monster. Extend your hand. Don't retract it.

Break that illusion of separateness. What you resist creates more resistance. What unresolved thing inside of you are you projecting?

Remember, people are mirrors. Mirrors upon mirrors upon mirrors. When we start to form a negative view of someone because of their set of ideas, our mind creates a low resolution image of that person. It's all in the mind. It cannot possibility process the entire story. The mind likes to fill in the gaps and establish the false sense of self by building walls and making assumptions. All of these images are distorted and false. It is important to see the person before the ideas and not the other way around. When the ideas have us and we do not have ownership of the ideas, conflict and confusion ensues.
It takes patience and commitment when you attempt to see the humanity in the person. It's a commitment to compassion and understanding. It is a commitment to listening and healing. It is not about trying to change someone else's mind. It is about asking questions and engaging. It is not about foisting your views upon others. Evangelizing can lead to more conflict and confusion. There are no sides. There is great harm in playing with a "them vs. us" paradigm. What we can learn from other people is endless. It provides great growth. We can learn about other people and most importantly learn about the totality of ourselves. Not just the fragmented bits that feed the illusory nature of the self.

You will act when you need to act. You will act with the betterment of all involved and not be so focused on carrying out an agenda. It takes awareness and an intuitive sense of acting in the moment. 

The other is merely YOU not aligned with the present.

DG