I am going to tell you what to do.

Listen.

You think you know what you want. What you need. It is understandable. Underneath that autonomous flesh vehicle is a program running of compulsory thoughts and habits. Small bits overtime directing you outside of "your" control. You claim that you crave structure or that you hate sticking to a schedule. Understandable. The variance of temperaments is astonishing between humans.

The routine may be getting down, but maybe for all the wrong reasons. The same thing over and over tends to make you feel dull and even exhausted from the monotony. Their tends to be little sprinkles of spontaneity that pop up and excite you reward centers, but overall you start to feel like an automaton. But why? Are you challenging yourself? Are you gravitating towards comfort and away from courage? What are you escaping? What are you resisting?

We like to think that we know what we want thus thinking that we may know what other people want. We throw casual advice without the desire or integrity to take any responsibility for the consequences. The ego gets pumped up like a balloon and deflated at the slightest challenge, discomfort or light sting from extrinsic forces in the world.

Surrender.

Observe. Look at how that meaty mind works in that hard skull of yours. Feel it out. The coursing through your veins. The tingles in your arms and legs. Your neck and your back are sending little messages. Little messages telling you to pay attention. That seeking for control you have been looking for is getting in your own way. We get in our own way all the time not wanting to look at the reflection and projection we are putting onto the external world.

Don't let go of that control. You see, that is that little YOU inside trying to take control again. Aiming for a means to an end. A solution. An illusion. Just LOOK at it. Listen to it if it makes gregarious noises. The desire to get rid of the ego is the ego attempting to strengthen itself. It is an escape from the actual. A movement of insecurity and desire to achieve a new state of what SHOULD be. That should be may never come since one is always operating in the moment. The idea of "becoming" is an illusion to strengthen the walls against fear and discomfort.

We like to silently enforce our wills on others. How we think the world should be. How we think someone should act. How we think the structure of society of government should function. Imposing our own unconscious mentality upon the way we want to see the world. Classic Projection.

What happens when we accept the world as it is? What happens when we accept our vulnerabilities and snakes intrinsically woven within us. We are all full of snakes.

Predictability tends to be your friend. Certainty becomes your ruler in a sense.You act in the pursuit of a "lack". To fill a void. The need for something to alleviate suffering or slight discomfort. YOU feel as if there is something or things that you want or need. The prevalence of advertising and marketing has conditioned you to want. To buy. To consume. A conditioning to limited forms and constructs forced onto you.

So you need a list. Something to set you "straight". Do you?
You feel that you need to be acknowledged. To be heard. To be validated and accepted from others around you. A sense of belonging in this tangled neurotic mess. We can break it down.

1. Accept things as they are and not as they should be.

Of course you can always make things better when you pay attention. When you observe. Paying attention acts as a type of currency. A conscious cost and benefit analysis that allows you to shine your light on your insecurities. A get what you give type of economical model. Growth comes from this insight. Not growth that is forced or disciplined into existence. The act of listening allows you to see what needs more work. What needs more attention for intention.

Paying attention to the things that come together and fall apart will let you see the impermanence dance of the happenings of moment to moment. You will see what you need to do in each moment with that attention. The purpose if you will of why you are somewhere in a specific point of time. You are Part of the happening. Not separate.

Am I telling you what to do? Well, yes in a way. Is it me who is actually making a command for a world I think "should be"? Quite possibly. Do I think that you may be better off from what I have commanded? It depends on what you mean on "better off". That's it. It all DEPENDS! Context is an enlightening ball to play with.

Don't do this. Don't do that. What can you do? What can you be? Well, you just be. You just let the "to be" be. You can be and do and that being is part of the doing. An interlocking of everything. How you do one thing is most likely how you do all the other things.

Do you need a list of rules? Would that help? Would it make you more rigid and routine and limit you to cycles of thought? Resistance to thoughts. Constraining the thoughts. Would growth come from that rigidity? Would remembering some rules expand your consciousness and insight of the inner and the outer? Don't look for some solutions. Yes I am telling you to do this. You can listen to what I am saying. Solutions can be distractions. Means to ends and ends to curiosity and insight.

I am telling you what to do, but you don't have to do it. A good question to ask is what are you running toward or what are you running away from? What is happening right in front of you?

DG