Bless The Jerks

A bumper sticker on a truck reads " MEAN PEOPLE SUCK". A catchy catch phrase creating and illusory "other" to shame how rude and vile people can be. I mean it is catchy. I will give them that, but it might be creating a more harmful or less constructive message in the long run.

It is easy to write people off and give them labels in the long run. The pattern run mind we all have loves to categorize things and put them into little tabs and boxes. Most of the time we have too many tabs open in our mind! When we other-ize we create more a divide with what is. These labels may be good for scenarios of threat detection, but sometimes it carries animosity into our routine lives. When we see people as mean or nice, we are adhering and believing a dichotomy that centers around establishing imaginary of images of what we think that person consists of. A dick or a jerk isn't necessarily being a dick on person. There is a whole past and story to the person that is "acting" like a jerk. When we label, we cut out all the possibilities that the "jerk" could be suffering and simply acting out his frustrations out of unconscious means.

It might make us recoil or even reflect the attitude of the jerk being a jerk to us. This is good. This is a mirror. An opportunity to see how this person is bringing our insecurities to the surface. Maybe this jerky person is trying to call out for help in a way that is highly unhelpful and unproductive. We can create all these stories in our heads all we want, but we can't actually begin the journey of knowing until we actually ask and calmly and patiently be there to LISTEN.

What if we flip the coin. Instead of us simply reacting to these so called jerks (hurting people), we can approach the situation with the gratitude and responsibility. The response ability we all can access at each conscious moment. It is about paying attention to the needs of the individual and how it affects you and then everyone around you. When you see problematic people as mirrors and potential reflections of your own insecurities, then you can start to begin some deep work on who you think you actually are. Is that image your mind creating of that certain person real? Does it represent the totality of the suffering individual or is it mainly driven from your own conditioning from the past? It is amazing to think how conditioned we are to who we think we are. Identity becomes a tricky thing and we love to put in on a porcelain glazed pedestal most of the time. It tends to hide our vulnerabilities which can hinder growth where we need it the most!

/Challenging Assumptions/

When we assume that a person is being jerk because that's how they are as a "static " person, we doing ourselves a grave disservice. We assume that this person has some type of agenda. We assume that this suffering individual is purposefully trying to be a jerk. When we catch ourselves making assumptions, we can learn from them. We can get comfortable or at least accept the fact that we simply do not know. Of course there will be outliers. Some people may have malicious intent, but where did that intent come from? A more important question. What are they acting out and how are they acting out their own unconsciousness and suffering?

Our mind likes to create stories. It tries to make sense of things in the moment in order for you to survive and move on. When someone upsets us, we create that false image and narrative. Does that person or group of people have power over us when they drag us down into their own suffering spiral? This goes all goes back to how we react and how we observe our triggers and inner turmoil. If we can imagine a jerk as a mirror and potential lesson for insecurity, we can reclaim our own sense of peace and stable emotional landscape.

The guy that cuts you off in traffic. Bless him. Thank him. Even if he or she does not hear it. Say it out loud in your car at least for the sake of bringing it out into the world. Thank them for offering an opportunity for you to recenter yourself with the present. An unexpected and uncertain gateway into the depths of your own little fragments that NEEDED to be brought to light in the first place. A breath of relief for sure.

What we Appreciate is what we Tolerate is what we Reciprocate!
Like mirrors, we reflect what we want to see or what we know. Sometimes these reflections are unflattering, but are unflattering for a reason.

What weight are we carrying by allowing suffering people to take up so much of our presence? Why plunge into unconsciousness when it isn't constructive in the long run? Are we compensating for something when we feel a need to be defensive and protect out precious sense of identity tied to the conditioning of the past?

Listen and Observe.

DG