"Wasting Time"

“Wasting Time”

In this fast paced culture of busy bodied incoherence, we try to fill
our days so full as if we are stuffing tomatoes into a glass jar while
trying to conceivably make a some type of perverted salsa. We (think)
we need to be productive. To occupy our minds with tasks, goals and
obligations in order to make us “feel” like we have had an adequately
arbitrary 24 hours. It makes sense on the surface and deep level
considering that we humans are so programmed to search for some sense
of purpose or meaning. A perverted navigation through the metaphysical
and rational if you will, towards the completion of some type of
nebulous goal.

With our productivity oriented and task compelling perceptions, we aim
to try to maximize a set of orderly functions in order to have some
sense of well being and/or completion at the end of the day, week or
month. We break these tasks into to smaller steps and dare to be so
brave and knock them out with effort and determination. With each
minute and sometimes important endeavor, we receive that little
dopamine boost that reinforces us to keep going. No matter what our
energy levels are at or how putrid our personal problems are, we feel
as if completing these tasks will give us some sense of meaning
throughout time. While this feels true, we sometimes tend to focus so
much on completing tasks and moving from point A to point B that we
forgot ourselves and how we are feeling at    each    moment. ( Caught
in a web of compulsory thought of our own making. )

“Notice thine gaps between every couplet of notes and clusters of
rhythmic drudgery!”

Thoughts arise and we can stuff them down or just carry it with us
while we are trying to be more efficient with “our time”. It’s a funny
thing. We get so picky about how we perceive time that we tend to make
it more personal then it actually is. Since our sense of self is a
product of time, we tend to identify with how we see time and how it
can serve our own individuations and illusory fragmentations. What
makes us think that we can posses such time and bend it to our own
will? It is easy to get sucked into the illusion of this time pull,
because sometimes the only thing we think we can control is how we can
use time. Block up those calendars. Set those timers.

A rebellious billboard that reads, “ Why don’t you let life happen
once in awhile there bud?”

The more we try to take this race of time so personally and seriously,
the more we get caught in the compulsory patterns of thought that can
lead to self doubt, criticism and conflict. A point to remember,
taking things personally cuts you off from being and turns you more
reactive and less proactive.

This vast compartmentalization of this tricky old time phenomenon, can
lead to more division conflict and stress in our daily lives. We want
to feel like we are useful. Rightfully so. ( If you can’t be happy,
then at least try to be useful. I forget who said this, but many
thumbs up to this for sure.) We tend to use our scheduling modalities
and lists to justify a sense of purpose and be our guides and
authoritative instructors for compensatory and compulsory tasks. Do we
really stop to smell the roses? Not to sound so terse and cliche, but
where does “presence” fit into this whole astute time continuum?
Exactly. We can get so wrapped up in the completion of tasks and so
feet forward in the Order Realm, that we lose sight of our own
presence and process.

Are we using our energy to make obstacle courses in our day that don’t
allow for spontaneity, relaxation, presence and appreciation?

The whole Westernized concept of “wasting time” seems to be rather
silly when you really take off your industrious oriented glasses. Do
we feel that we are wasting time when we are not doing what we (think)
we (should) be doing or we are not being on task with what we want to
accomplish? It’s an interesting questioning rabbit hole that one can
go down. It’s easy to fall of this whole balancing act of doing the
things we want to do, have to do and would eventually desire to do in
the future. Yes I know, it’s all annoyingly contextual. This is where
we can lose ourselves and become fleshy automatons going through the
motions while setting our cognitive programs to autopilot. You can see
the blank and almost lifeless people just floating through the day
doing things they would rather not be doing and simply “checking” out
of their own presence. Unconsciousness of the most pedestrian degree.

“It’s funny how we tend to take blocks of time so personally and so
individually. We tend to forget the beauty happening around us. The
lady dropping an apple in front of a store. A little kid sliding down
a slide with gleefulness in his eyes. A man casually gazing at a
squirrel fight. We almost fetishize the idea of compartmentalizing
time so much that we forget how to even manage or observe time in the
first place!”

No matter how you want to execute it, each scheduled day or timeframe
can be a type of dance and game with vast rewards and rejuvenation and
reflection. Of course there are many things that we have to do to make
a living or keep a roof over our heads, but there seems to be some
ways where you can integrate that with the Dance of the Day. With each
obligatory or compulsory task, we can reward ourselves with things or
actions that we want to be doing. This triggers space in between the
gaps of the tasks and allows for spontaneity and most importantly
presence to enter within your consciousness.

With the full attention and intention of your whole totality of being,
you can treat each of these tasks as part of the wonderful dance. You
don’t need to try to perk yourself for attempting to wash laundry, but
you can certainly turn it into a type of game or anticipatory function
for future reward. When you finish the laundry, you can allow yourself
to unwind your tension cords and so something that gets you going.
This could even simply be “doing nothing”. Isn’t doing nothing
something most of the time? Curious.

“Peaks and Valleys. Pushing and pulling. Lulls and Bursts of
excitement. All part of the balance and dance of life. How can one
have happiness without sadness? How can we juggle this space between
order and chaos without losing our minds or getting lost in our minds
in the process?

Do you see how these gaps in your day can serve such importance in
your practice of presence and acting a sense of balance within both
inner and outer worlds? This creates a delightful positive feedback
loop that can make you feel less beaten and exhausted at the end of
the day.

How are you doing the things you HAVE to do with the things you WANT
to do? That seems to be a very pertinent question in looking how to
make best of use of “your” time. With each obligatory task there can
exist a congruent passionate task or block of time that can allow that
balance to emerge and work efficiently and effectively. Like a dance,
we might slip up our moves and footing, but we can turn those into
lessons and flavorful spontaneities that can carry to the next thing.
Like cause and effect and the infinite continuum of cause and effect.
A resounding wave or interplay between pushing, pulling, hearing and
observing. (Dance)

Set the task. Visualize the task. Act out the task. Be with the
process of the task. Complete the task without focusing so hard on
trying to “complete” the task. Sounds so counterintuitive and awkward
because we have been driven to believe that our personal use of time
is so precious and based around so much self interest and task
completing drudgeries. Activate that Dopaminergic System!

What happens when you take the back seat in observation? What arises
when you don’t quite accomplish that menial task you felt you needed
to get done? Do you get upset? Understandable. How can you use that
energy? How can you harness the value of that feeling or emotion
without sulking in it or trying to cover it up like a dog trying to
bury a bone? Surely, observing time without the compulsory need to try
to form it in to something will allow us to see things we would miss
if we were so dead set on trying to get things done most of the time.
The completion of a means to an end will inevitably lead to a stronger
will or desire for the next means to an end.

To simplify, the mere act of trying to complete goals will only lead
to the completion of that goal and a void for a new goal to be
pursued.

Wasting time implies that any other use of time is “better” than
another time. The term divorces itself from one’s presence and
constantly places a cortisol laden anxiety upon the individual. Your
specific use of time has no correlation to your presence, silence and
uniqueness of existence. Do you see how our minds try to get us to
occupy us at all times with thoughts, worries and chores of living?

Is presence more preferential than productivity? Must we place such
illusory hierarchies on how we think we should see the world?

Wasting time would imply a dichotomous field of context where the
opposite would be an arbitrary categorization of not wasting time or
the “appropriate use of time”.  So in order for one to (think) they
are wasting their time, they would have to have some type of ideal or
worldview on the best use of their own time( non-wasted time ).So this
can all be subjective and sometimes painfully self serving. If the ego
driven brain can see time as completely about the pursuit of pleasure
and/or productivity, it misses the importance and joyous splendor of
presence. Never at rest. Never at a point of contentment with
discontent. This concept of “My time” is structurally and conceptually
possessive. If the mind is of the past and only in pursuit of pleasure
or certainty, time will get perverted and caught up in that cyclical
and neurotic nature of Thought-Time.

Notice the thinking.
Notice the feeling from that thinking.
Now notice the surroundings around you.
Notice the act of being with that feeling and noticing.
Notice what you are doing.
Notice what you were doing.
Notice the Noticing of Time.