GrAvyTude

Gratitude.

Drink it in.

The Infinite Chalice of Gratitude.

The ever filling receptacle of thankfulness.

We know now what gratitude can do for us. What it offers us. How it nourishes us. In an act of immediacy we can orient ourselves and our mindsets towards gratitude. Aligning with the present moment and breathing in. Of course you can always be grateful for even the smallest and trivial things. One need not look toward the “positive” aspects of their life to express their gratitude. Some of the best “lessons” have come from the revelation that challenging and heartbreaking experiences open up our sense of awareness and ability to fully experience and feel what is happening for us.

It is the trying times that seem to break through our blind spots and walls that we have put up around ourselves. It is the act of observation. The Observation of the self and the events that transpire in front of us. It is not entirely about choice. When we choose, we tend to hesitate and get in our own way. We can certainly choose to be grateful and thankful in every waking moment. This isn’t a bad thing. Establishing a habitual gratitude reaction to what happens can strengthen the neural circuits within your brain. It doesn’t mean that you wholeheartedly subscribe to a more positivist outlook. Quite the contrary. Establishing a Gratitude Feedback Mechanism Strategy means simply being with what is without pushing back. One can observe the callousness and idiocy of ones self and be thankful for that particular revelation if they are truly in tune with the way they are acting. When they are truly in tune with what is actually HAPPENING.

When I look closer, I can see that gratitude turns out to be a byproduct from being present. Much like joy. When the need to seek or satiate isn’t hovering around in the mind like a gnat, a silence arises which leads to a calm sense of being. From that state, all possible reasons to be grateful are illuminated without will or effort. Without the lust to attain or even change your trivial state of mind of WHAT IS.

The observation of what is happening.

When we are constantly trying to push a “gratitude agenda”, we are using will and effort to benefit the self. It takes a great deal of energy to try to force or mandate a continuous state of gratitude. It is like leashing thankfulness to a pole while constantly berating it to serve us or change our current mood or feeling without actually “FEELING” it. That’s the key. Feeling it out.(( HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL? ))

We are presented with a huge spectrum of feelings and emotions that are so unique to our own humanity. We can see gratitude much like a flower. We can admire the beauty, the scent and the perfect design of it, but when we try to pick it we are lustful and trying to prolong the beauty for our own neurotic self. If we can simply LOOK at the gratitude flower without association or the need to CAPTURE it, a whole new experience opens up. That is a sense of gratitude that arises naturally without the need to TRY to look at the thing in a certain WAY. It is being aware that we are being aware without trying to be aware that we are being aware.
This cool amorphous substance of gratitude that organically arises from choice-less awareness is Gravytude. Imagine if you will. A gravy like substance that pours over the world around you. A slow and sumptuous flow of thankfulness that is satisfying beyond words and concepts. Yes it is there. You can see it. It is not about choosing to see it. It is  about SEEING it. Don’t you see?

Well does it actually exist? Well not materially. In a way I have already created it if you are reading this. The concept. The idea. This idea of a substance that seems to construct the perceptive fabric of existence and life itself. You and I can imagine this Gravytude in dramatically different ways. When you first saw this silly word, did you think of gravy in a gravy boat? If you did, then why did you? You certainly hold the concept for what gravy is in your brain. Constructed from the architecture of thought and memory. Did you imagine the gravy being chunky white or more of a meager brown? Did your Aunt Sheryl serve your family thick brown gravy at Christmas time? Maybe you established a personal connection with that past experience of gravy. Maybe it did indeed make you FEEL a certain WAY.

Well, we created the concept of gravy so that we can all understand what we are talking about even though there are probably at least 60+ species and genus of Gravy. Notice the nomenclature. The merging of two similar sounding words.

“ You can have Gravy on a Boat,
You can hold gravy in your hand.
It simply tastes marvelous on ham.”

Gravy and Gratitude.
A personal question for me:
How did this rather absurd concept appear in my head? Where did it come from?
Was I looking at gravy? Was I thinking about the IDEA of GRATITUDE?

From what I can remember, ( although this may be casually distorted ) is that it appeared to me without me trying to think of anything. My brain was doing it’s job. I was at my JOB doing the things I needed to do. I remember it popping in my head and it gave me a little dopamine reward. A little curved smile. Certainly, I could search forever to try to see where it came from, but that is of little interest to me. I am grateful for my brain making those synapse fires and connections.

I have built up a trend of trying to pair similar sounding words together in order to craft bad puns and wordplay. This is something I have inherited from my family. It is not something that I necessarily will myself to do. It is part of how my brain makes connections. I am sure my past conditioning is a HUGE part of it. It is fascinating to look at and think about. To ponder on the how and why of the workings of my brain. I am certainly a product of the past. My self is primarily the product of the past. And thought itself of the PAST.

The fact of the matter is is that I didn’t choose for that to pop in my head, but it drew me in. It intrigued me. I wrote it down so I wouldn’t lose it. I Wanted to Capture it and Expand upon it. I wanted to write about it and discover how I could push this idea of GRAVYTUDE.

It stuck in the back of my head. But why? Was it really that important? Well, it was important enough for me to commit time to attempt to sit down and write about it. Was it really all me doing this or am I being directed from a psychological and/or biological force? Where is this piece of writing going to lead me? Am I following a series of steps in a certain direction or am I under the impression that I am in control and I am trying to harness a creative snake and spirit? What is making me ask this? What is pulling my strings to make me think this certain way and use my past experience to craft and semi-coherent piece of writing?

Who knows? I know! Well, maybe I don’t know. In fact, I can factually say that at this point I do not know. Of course, I don’t know more things than I know, but that is beside the point. So many questions. No need to seek an answer. Only a chance to be present and aware. Ok, Now I am aware that I am aware that I am writing. I see that, but am “I” the one being aware or am “I” being deceived. Well in a way, the “I” is an illusion. A creation of identity within the realm of past experience and biological determination. A false sense of self tied to the limits of knowledge and categorization. I understand. Agh!
There I go. Going straight to the “I” again. It will have to do in the meantime. If I try to stop using “I”, that is just the “I” trying to expand itself. It cannot be rid of through will, effort or discipline. That is the “I” acting to attain. It is an escape from what is and a denial of how things are. Disorder and Chaos.

Back to Gravytude.

That Milky and Murky substance that “I” invented.
I can’t really take credit for it. It seems as if it was “gifted” to me. Maybe it was a mistake. Must I be a victim of circumstance?
All I can really say is that I am grateful for it.
Is it meant for good?
Doesn’t matter.
I can take it apart. I can analyze all I want. I can try to find out why it came in the first place. If I place a meaning on it, it deteriorates. If I try to swaddle or strangle it, it goes into its shell. I can observe and I can appreciate. From that appreciation arises a sense of gratitude and maybe even a callously subjective sense of meaning.

Sure, it’s what I think. Well, thought seems more to happen to me. Or for me? Well, how self important of me to think that! It came and it passed and more thought came in. An endless cycle that I can look and be grateful for if I am not caught in it’s own drama and psychosis.

I can feel that gratitude.
I can FEEL that Gravytude.

I can Be.

DG