What was I thinking ?!?

Hey! 

What were you thinking?!

Most of us have had the experience of asking ourselves this question a few times in our lives. Maybe we did something that made us feel ashamed. Maybe we did something that made us feel guilty. What are we really asking ourselves when we confront our past actions and pitfalls? 

What was I thinking?! 

This question implies that it is in past tense. You were thinking for who you were then, not who you are now. You are in a constant state of flux. You are not the same person you were when you committed the act or methodology of thought. 

It is irrelevant what you were thinking, because you were acting under whatever was presented to you in the moment. It does not mean you can't take responsibility for it, but it shows that you have grown and learn from whatever you did in the past. Get the picture? 

So whatever your mental atmosphere in the past, it has no space for the present. What you think and know now are the only pertinent things in your life. Striving to get to a mental state from the past is rather absurd. It is like trying buy the same car with the same problems. You aren't thinking the same way because you have grown. The resistance to growth is what is creating your turmoil and anxiety. 

So...

What were you thinking?! 

Doesn't matter. 

What matters is how you are right now. 

What matters is how to choose to analyze your emotional reaction to the past. 

What matters is how you choose to let go. 

DG